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Anorexia / Bulimia

Old 08-25-2016, 01:44 PM
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Anorexia / Bulimia

Hello.

I posted a while back (I feel ever so bad for not following up my first original post, as the comments I received were invaluable - so thank you to everyone who responded on my previous posts).

I have now not had a single drink for 72 days. I used to be a 3/4 of a bottle of wine a night drinker (only because it felt better to say I wasn't on a bottle a night...)

I, however, truly believe that my primary addiction was not alcohol (I sometimes tried to trick people into believing I was an alcoholic - something I now regret...) but Anorexia.

It resulting in the only way I was could eat was by having (one (I was so tiny) vodka and diet cola, to calm my nerves, I would say to almost sedate me).

Sorry for the backstory! I am sober (but still Anorexic / Bulimic, I have contacted my Doctor (who does not help in any way, shape of form) ( I have also contacted every Anorexia / Eating Disorder clicic / recovery group and been added to the waiting list for counselling (which is 36 months).

I have tried attending AA in relation to my Eating Disorder (which resulted in me drinking) but I am finding it hard to relate.

I have tried contacting the charity 'BEAT' but there in 10 years I have never the experience of anyone answering the phone.

I apologise for the length of my post(!) but I am looking for someone who has perhaps had alcohol as a 'secondary addiction' (if that's even possible). Or ANYONE who has experienced an Eating Disorder, I feel as though I am in the depths of it.

Best Wishes, Cassie x
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Old 08-25-2016, 01:57 PM
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Old 08-25-2016, 02:01 PM
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Try these Cassie

Eating disorder helplines | This Morning
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Old 08-25-2016, 02:04 PM
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Welcome back and I'm glad you posted again. Congratulations on your recovery from alcohol and good job in tackling your eating disorder. I'm sorry there is such a long wait. Caroline Knapp wrote my very favorite bio about alcoholism 'Drinking: A Love Story'. Interestingly, her initial addiction was anorexia and bulimia and she wrote a great book on that part of her life 'Appetites: Why Women Want.' I highly recommend it.

There are a few other books in our book list about eating disorders and I've read them all and hope you find something helpful:

Fonda, Jane My Life So Far
Gold, Tracy Room To Grow
Johnston, Kristen Guts
Wilson, Carnie Gut Feeling
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Old 08-25-2016, 03:53 PM
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Hi Cassie
I'm who you are looking to meet I guess. I have suffered with anorexia for three decades. I was able to mask it with alcohol (a little unlike you perhaps) in that during the years I was drinking I actually thought I was cured of my eating disorder. Since becoming sober about a year and a half ago it came blazing out in full colour again.
I am now outpatient here at a clinic and am slowly working on my ED again while also being active in AA.
Sometimes it is exhausting. I wrote a post a little while back about what I missed about alcohol, and this was the main part - that I almost forgot this part of myself..
Now that alcohol is out of the picture I am having to deal with the same me that was there before.
It's hard, but I'm here and I'm sure many others as well.
It's hard for me sometimes to equate my ED with an addiction, but I can see how it's perceived that way.
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Old 08-25-2016, 03:53 PM
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Hi Cassie.
Yes, alcohol was absolutely my secondary thing. Eating Disorder was my first. I was a casual drinker in my 20's. This means that several nights of the weeks I would have one drink with my friends after work. I didn't like to drink but it "loosened" me up and relaxed me so that I could give myself permission to eat. I lost interest in drinking at 31 because my ED was more important and the alcohol was giving me "too much" permission to eat. A few years later I went on meds for anxiety and depression and things got a bit better - only insofar as I ate healthily and sufficiently but stepped up the exercise. It's a hard thing. What they say is true: "you can live without booze and mind altering drugs. But you can't live without food."
And I sympathize DEEPLY with your Dr. problem. I complain about it frequently here. It is interesting that Drs. get so much love here and they all seem to be so understanding and eager to help their patients (really good insurance maybe?) I wish to heaven I could help you with that problem. Nor am I an AA-er.
I'm not familiar with BEAT. I also got no "phone answer" at one addiction center (for alcohol). I decided if I were going to pursue it, I would just walk right in the darn door and wait for someone to speak to me. If they have a web site check it. They might actually have a walk-in policy. Several of our rehabs do.
I don't know your age, but I'm over 50 and have been dealing with this for a long time. I don't know if I have any answers, but PM any time you like if you need to vent. Who knows: maybe we can help each other?
And congrats on your sobriety!
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Old 08-25-2016, 10:24 PM
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I can relate. (I'm also 25 as well!) Before I ever started drinking, I battled with bulimia (binging and purging) for several years. It consumed me. Once I had my first drink, however, I fell in love with alcohol, and the bulimia kinda subsided... And I apologize because I know that's not very helpful but just wanted to add that I can relate. Hopefully the wait time ends up not being as long as they say. You never know.
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Old 08-25-2016, 11:00 PM
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Moi. You're not alone.

Try mentor connect online. I never followed through with it as my alcohol became my biggest problem for a long time. But it's a free service where they hook you up with a mentor. Try it out. Feel free to pm me. I've struggled with eating disorders for 20 years and alcohol on and off for 10. None of it is hopeless. we can figure this out.
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Old 08-25-2016, 11:10 PM
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Geneen Roth "women, food and god" is a great read too.
Also addiction is the symptom. I can't remember the authors name off hand.
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Old 08-26-2016, 12:58 AM
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What about CoDa? Might also be worth phoning the OA people in your area. I suspect that they may be able to help or at least be able to direct you to some local resources.

Wishing you all the best for your recovery. BB
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Old 08-26-2016, 02:28 PM
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I am a recovering bulimic - about 5 years. If you find yourself bored, check out my blog. I talk about replacing my true obsession (my horrible relationship with food) with alcohol and substances. I couldn't continue my eating disorder so I replaced it.

Keep talking. It helps.
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