Iv'e been drinking again the last 4 month.
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Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: london
Posts: 146
Iv'e been drinking again the last 4 month.
I made the stupid decision to get drunk back around may time and its just kinda stopped now.
Im really annoyed i wasted another 4 months drinking and i honestly have hated drinking again which is scary as i continued to do it. It didnt taste as nice as in the past for some reason it wasnt pleasureable at all.Worryingly i was worse than ever and literally went 16 days in a row getting smashed. disgraced myself down my local and woke up with the usual bruises, scratches and cuts etc.
There really is no positive to this and although im gutted i drank again i am happy that i loved my sober time so much and genuinely have hated this drinking period.
I dunno if i gave into the av thoughts its all a kind of blur but i was using this forum more than i ever had before and i really need to keep coming back here because it was working.
Just seen i signed up here 4 years ago, im 30 in november, im literally wasting my life with this drink so im really gonna go for it again. Hopefully ill do it this time.
Im really annoyed i wasted another 4 months drinking and i honestly have hated drinking again which is scary as i continued to do it. It didnt taste as nice as in the past for some reason it wasnt pleasureable at all.Worryingly i was worse than ever and literally went 16 days in a row getting smashed. disgraced myself down my local and woke up with the usual bruises, scratches and cuts etc.
There really is no positive to this and although im gutted i drank again i am happy that i loved my sober time so much and genuinely have hated this drinking period.
I dunno if i gave into the av thoughts its all a kind of blur but i was using this forum more than i ever had before and i really need to keep coming back here because it was working.
Just seen i signed up here 4 years ago, im 30 in november, im literally wasting my life with this drink so im really gonna go for it again. Hopefully ill do it this time.
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Join Date: May 2012
Location: Wisconsin, USA
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Originally Posted by bradley26 
Just seen i signed up here 4 years ago, im 30 in november, im literally wasting my life with this drink so im really gonna go for it again. Hopefully ill do it this time.
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Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: london
Posts: 146
Thanks again everyone, i know it sounds weird but i dont feel depressed or like its all over for me like i usually feel in the past. I actually am very positive, the 4 months before this happened was the best id felt in years, i know exactly what i want to do its just not getting i dunno, maybe i got complacent?
Purple Knight i have sober recovery and im going back to aa and thats about as much as i have in regards to support which should be ok i think.
Purple Knight i have sober recovery and im going back to aa and thats about as much as i have in regards to support which should be ok i think.
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Join Date: Aug 2016
Posts: 379
Oh so thankful of the miracle of your return. I mean, I think we do have to always remember that this IS life and death and that anytime we are able to make it back, is truly a blessing! Im so happy you are here!
The other thing you pointed out is that the drinking wasnt even pleassureable anymore. That hit home for me. I can personally say that there was a time when I LOVED to drink, had so many good times, I liked the changes that alcohol made in me ( lowering my inhibitions) but like you, it has been no phone for at least the last 18 months! Not enjoyable one bit. So now, looking at the positives vs negatives of continuing, the negatives really tip the scale.
Why would we want to continue to do something that isnt even fun anymore, isnt enjoyable? Yeah, exactly....Im so glad we are choosing to let go of that which is making us misrable!
Good job!
The other thing you pointed out is that the drinking wasnt even pleassureable anymore. That hit home for me. I can personally say that there was a time when I LOVED to drink, had so many good times, I liked the changes that alcohol made in me ( lowering my inhibitions) but like you, it has been no phone for at least the last 18 months! Not enjoyable one bit. So now, looking at the positives vs negatives of continuing, the negatives really tip the scale.
Why would we want to continue to do something that isnt even fun anymore, isnt enjoyable? Yeah, exactly....Im so glad we are choosing to let go of that which is making us misrable!
Good job!
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Join Date: Jan 2014
Posts: 3,293
Good to hear from you Bradley. Sorry you've gone through such a tough time. I know how easy it is to get stuck in that cycle. You pick up a drink one day, and before you know it, months go by. Like others have said; it's great that you made it back to SR and will be looking for support with AA. You had a taste of what sobiety can be like. Use that as your motivation to get back there again. John
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Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
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Welcome back Bradley 
I really hope you'll crack open this link and take a look:
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...ery-plans.html
D
I really hope you'll crack open this link and take a look:
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...ery-plans.html
D
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Join Date: Oct 2012
Posts: 5,937
I'm glad you're back and giving it another try, Bradley. Whatever the reason for going back out there I think you've figured out that it's not going to work out in the long run to keep drinking. You will get it figured out, B!
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Join Date: Jul 2014
Posts: 49
What you said about it not feeling as good as it did the times before- I can totally relate to that. Not only does it not feel as good, you need to drink more just to feel part of what you could get before with a lesser amount of alcohol. Heck, I still remember in my middle teens when two or three beers meant a wild party. Last time I drank, a litre of vodka wasn't enough to calm my anxiety, let alone make me feel good.
Almost everyone I talk to about the subject tells a similar story. I guess that's the reason why in AA they say that when you relapse, you pick up not where you left, but where you would be if you never quit. Until recently I thought it was crapola, but there you go.
Myself, I'm just half a year younger than you, on day 12, and if not for this forum, I have a feeling I'd have given up by now. It ain't easy, we all know that much. But I know for a fact people beat this monkey. Stick around, and lets beat it together. Black and blue, with baseball bats
Almost everyone I talk to about the subject tells a similar story. I guess that's the reason why in AA they say that when you relapse, you pick up not where you left, but where you would be if you never quit. Until recently I thought it was crapola, but there you go.
Myself, I'm just half a year younger than you, on day 12, and if not for this forum, I have a feeling I'd have given up by now. It ain't easy, we all know that much. But I know for a fact people beat this monkey. Stick around, and lets beat it together. Black and blue, with baseball bats
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