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Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2016
Location: Florida, USA
Posts: 1
new here
Hi all,
I found the forum through some google searches on some variation of "does ultimatum work with alcoholic" or "adult child of alcoholic mother." After some reading of posts and replies, I registered.
I'm not an alcoholic or an addict, but I am the daughter of an alcoholic. I'm also the sister of a schizophrenic brother with a drug addiction. The latter has been ongoing for years, but the former is relatively recent. I learned my mother is an alcoholic when my father died, about 2-1/2 years ago. She'd done a pretty good job of keeping it secret until then.
Our current situation is that my addict brother (who refuses to be on his antipsychotics now) lives with my mother. Also living with them is my 90 year old grandmother, my mom's mother, whom my mom is helping to care for. My brother has stolen all of my mother's money and my grandmother's money - wiped out their bank accounts - and my mom can't pay her bills.
Rereading that paragraph above, it all seems so simplified. It's not, of course.
I struggle with how to help and I know that I can't really. I can't keep giving my mom money when my brother continues to steal it - and when my mom uses it on alcohol.
I'm glad to have found the forums here. I know I'm not alone, but it very often feels like it.
I found the forum through some google searches on some variation of "does ultimatum work with alcoholic" or "adult child of alcoholic mother." After some reading of posts and replies, I registered.
I'm not an alcoholic or an addict, but I am the daughter of an alcoholic. I'm also the sister of a schizophrenic brother with a drug addiction. The latter has been ongoing for years, but the former is relatively recent. I learned my mother is an alcoholic when my father died, about 2-1/2 years ago. She'd done a pretty good job of keeping it secret until then.
Our current situation is that my addict brother (who refuses to be on his antipsychotics now) lives with my mother. Also living with them is my 90 year old grandmother, my mom's mother, whom my mom is helping to care for. My brother has stolen all of my mother's money and my grandmother's money - wiped out their bank accounts - and my mom can't pay her bills.
Rereading that paragraph above, it all seems so simplified. It's not, of course.
I struggle with how to help and I know that I can't really. I can't keep giving my mom money when my brother continues to steal it - and when my mom uses it on alcohol.
I'm glad to have found the forums here. I know I'm not alone, but it very often feels like it.
Guest
Join Date: Aug 2015
Location: Atlanta
Posts: 8,674
Welcome. Have you found the Friends and Family of Alcoholics thread? Alcoholism, 12 Step and Newcomers threads will be relevant to you, perhaps, but the codependency and family-focused ones sound really applicable.
You are definitely not alone here! Read around and see who you connect with in their writings.
Wishing you the best.
You are definitely not alone here! Read around and see who you connect with in their writings.
Wishing you the best.
saoutchik
Join Date: Jan 2015
Location: London
Posts: 16,186
Welcome to SR d&s
It sounds as if your brother really needs some form of compulsory treatment. I would have thought that if it can be proved that he stole the money then he could either face a criminal charge or accept treatment.
Obviously there is nothing much to be gained financially from a criminal charge against your brother but it might be enough to cajole him into treatment
Without him present in his current state it could also reduce the pressure on your mom and she may be able to do something about her own drinking then
As August said, do check the Friends and Family Thread as well
I hope things improve for you and them
It sounds as if your brother really needs some form of compulsory treatment. I would have thought that if it can be proved that he stole the money then he could either face a criminal charge or accept treatment.
Obviously there is nothing much to be gained financially from a criminal charge against your brother but it might be enough to cajole him into treatment
Without him present in his current state it could also reduce the pressure on your mom and she may be able to do something about her own drinking then
As August said, do check the Friends and Family Thread as well
I hope things improve for you and them
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