fred59

Ross alcohol is a depressant somehow you have to stop, even if you do not like AA I think it would be a safe place for you please take whatever help you can get, do not give up, just take it one day at a time, we are here for you.

Ross66

My apologies if I'm angry and frustrated.
But you know, it isn't really the BIG things we accomplish in life that matter most. It is the little tiny acts of kindness and compassion. For example, I offered some ice cream to a very mentally disturbed woman tonight. Not because I want sex or money from her. Just because it might make her smile and feel good?This country, this cold cruel world. We've lost that fundamental humanity somehow. Not everything comes with a price. Not everyone wants something more than just to be nice

saoutchik

Hi Ross, I am from the UK so I can't be much practical help but what FlyNBuy said about Salvation Army rehab made sense in that while it might not be ideal, ie it is a group situation, it could help give you the sober time to obtain additional help and maybe improve you living situation

I don't think any of us can stay sober long term on will power alone, they often call it white knuckling here. We all need help

Do keep posting Ross - 99% of people here will offer sound advice and encouragement

saoutchik

Ross - how are you?

I hope you keep posting fella

PurpleKnight

As Saoutchik said, we're here for you Ross, plenty of support here to help out!!

Ross66

You guys are great and I sincerely thank you for the kind supportive words. They have not fallen on deaf ears. I apologize for losing my temper earlier. I'm not well and I know that. I am very stubborn and admittedly rather psychotic. Paranoid. A combination of lifelong untreated alcohol abuse and borderline personality disorder perhaps. That is hard for me as a man to admit or accept.

Soberwolf

in this together Ross

LadyBlue0527

Ross, there's a lot of support and love on this board. It took a lot for you to post what you did. I'm glad that you came here.

Keep reading and posting. I credit this board for not only helping me to stay sober, the people here helped me to want it.

chickippo

I have diagnosed BPD, depression, anxiety..amongst other things. I grew up with a lot of sexual violence around as my parents are alcoholics and fought all the time.

I haven't been able to work for 4 years. booze cost me my job, my kid, my marriage and my home. I was a rock-bottom, mentally ill, mouthwash drinking drunk.

I got sober 2 years and 4 months ago. you can get sober too. it's really, really hard and frightening and you have to dig in and don't drink no matter what.

you can do this. you deserve a better life. you're worth more than this.