Pre-meditated drinking
 

My husband and I are going to San Diego to see my BFF and her boyfriend. We are going to camp in their trailer at the beach, go to see Guns-N-Roses concert, and hang out. Well they are regular normal drinkers. We haven't drank now is 2 weeks. We had 18 months sober last August and then I brought up drinking again and so we did. Of course progressed into out of control consumption and drama lots of drama. We have talked about giving ourselves a 'pass' on this trip and only having 1 drink per hour with water in between and no more than 3. I know we can do that and then come back to real sobriety and start the ticker over again. But it somehow doesn't feel right inside. My BFF will totally respect no drinking as well so there is no pressure.
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There isn't a member here that will tell you, your plan is a good one.

Avoid the "drama" and stick with sobriety, would be my suggestion.

My best intentions often led disaster, when I tried controlled drinking.

Don't be so sure about that.

My BFF and I have a history of drama too when drunk. We were never everyday drinkers. But episode drinkers. When we drink there is an episode.

The moment you drink the first drink, though you might be able to force yourself to drink only 3 drinks, chances are, all of that will fly out the window for the following reasons:

1) You'll think, "well we were almost 2 years sober, and I already drank a drink, I'll just give myself a pass for today.

2) You'll think, "It's a once in a life time concert, I'd be stupid not to drink, we've already had a few!"

3) It's not a big deal, everyone around us is doing it!

Instead, don't drink at all and reinforce your ability to stay sober at events outside your own house, that way you build your own confidence in that you can handle various situations sober and not be triggered to drink.

You're already 2 weeks in, that's a long time. One drink will turn into 10, especially at a big party concert, and drama will most likely follow, right?

Personally it sounds like a waste of a good start on sobriety. I wouldn't want to waste that on a few drinks. I'd drink for the buzz and a few drinks wouldn't cut it. Do you really think a drink an hour, not to exceed three is worth it? And I'm not suggesting you drink more. That would be even more stupid.

And the best thing about being sober is not having that preoccupation with the cravings. It's like when we have made the decision to remove alcohol from our lives we don't obsess over plans. We just know that our plans will NOT involve alcohol. I agree with everyone's responses. That's what SR is for.

I vote....Stay clean. Don't drink. Your friends will still love you if they are true. Sounds like they are.

Depending how hard you have drank in the past, you are probably mentally addicted to booze. This condition is chronic. It never goes away.

Anyway...

Camping and GnR would be amazing. I am jealous.

Thanks for the post.

I wonder why you decided to drink after 18 months sober.

Had you made changes in your life to help support your recovery?

It would probably be a good idea for you to come up with a plan that will help you stay sober forever. :)

rationalization is giving a socially acceptable reason for socially unacceptable behavior, and socially unacceptable behavior is a form of insanity.


sunshine, havent you and hubby had enough gloom,dispair, and agony caused my alcohol?
why do you feel its necessary to drink alcohol, especially when theres HUNDREDS of great non alcoholic drinks?

"We had 18 months sober last August and then I brought up drinking again and so we did. Of course progressed into out of control consumption and drama lots of drama. "

youre not immuned to that happening again AND the possibility of EVERYTHING getting worse.

alcohol-cunning,baffling,powerful, patient,and DEADLY

I think you will feel much better about yourself if you do not drink. I know as soon as I drink game over. I've read to much to where it comes back with a vengeance. Not worth the risk!

I had a huge falling out with my mother in law and my 13 year old nephew committed suicide. So I rationalized it and he agreed. Our moderation techniques disolve within weeks.

Not to put too fine a point on it, if you're an alcoholic, you don't need those three drinks....if you're NOT an alcoholic, you don't need those three drinks...

Seems pretty obvious open-and-shut that this is a horrible plan. You don't get to put sobriety and its blessings on hold for a few days and expect it to be waiting for you when you return to your senses. That's the whole point!

After 18 months sober you returned to drinking. Now you only have 2 weeks under your belts. It sounds like you are taking a "vacation" from sobriety. This suggests that you see little value in it. 2 weeks simply is not enough time away from alcohol to establish a real commitment, in my opinion. Might want to re-evaluate your reasons for quitting.

Hi Sunshine,

I'm glad you posted this now. I am going to tell you what you already know deep down, drinking during your vacation is a bad idea. Two weeks is a great start, and you already know how allowing yourself to drink when you were upset led you back to drinking again.

Enjoy the time with your friend without drinking.

You already know this is a bad plan.

The problem with quitting tomorrow is that it is always today so tomorrow never comes. The only time to quit is today.

If you could drink 1 drink per hour with water in between and stop at 3 drinks you wouldn't need to be on this site because you wouldn't be an alcoholic. I would re-think your plan Sunshine. Good luck to you both.

No we haven't but, we will continue to look.
MM