James90

As a few of you know I've had a period recently where i was pretty down in the dumps , not happy and felt everything was going against me. There were many times when I would just sit up at night on my own just gazing into space, trying to work out where I'd gone wrong as I thought I'd done my best to reach 7 months of sobriety. I was close to throwing it all away because I just couldn't see a way foward. Every job I applied for I didn't get, meetings with friends got cancelled, lack of relationships, sports team losing, all this put me in one big downward spiral. So I thought about that drink , like we all do in our dark times and I thought of old times, old memories and how great it felt, that warm feeling inside and having something I new wouldn't make me feel alone and that would make me happy again...

Fast foward another week and here we are today. I DIDNT HAVE THAT DRINK ( I put it in capitals as I feel this was a major step in my personal recovery). I came to realise it wasn't my fault the way my life is currently going and that I was in fact doing pretty dam well. So what if I didn't get a job, maybe it wasn't meant to be, so what if a friend cancelled on me last minute, so what if my sports team lost etc...These were all outcomes that I had no control over and it was someone else's decision to make, but yet I was still punishing myself for it, why!?!? I'd forgotten my main goal and that was keeping my self in sobriety, and that will always be the one thing I have control over and it's me who decides the outcome.

As hard as these last few weeks have been ,I feel it has done me good to experience it as it has just made me stronger yet again, and gave me yet more experience to deal with similar times should they happen in the future.

Sorry I've been away, I'm back now and I'm here to stay. Thanks to all of you on here at SR.

James.

Darwinia

Very very well done. Example to me.

Soberwolf

Congratulations James

PrinzessinD

I went through that too. Went through a bunch of negative crap and wondered why I quit drinking, what was the point? Then I remembered that I quit because I wanted to better my life and if I had that drink it wouldn't change the fact that I didn't get the job. I probably would've freaked out if I was drinking anyways.

alyssa11

Congrats! I find people can always be as strong as they want to be, and I'm trying desperately to be that strong as long as I possibly can

Dee74

Great to hear James

D

OceanGuy

Hey James - I feel you man!

I am so convinced that alcohol is the devil's poison, that I absolutely can't stand the sight of it now. I know that's a little extreme, but I'm ex-military and so I've made this a battle, and made the poison my mortal enemy.

In this past week, I found a couple of full, un-opened beer cans secreted in different places. Guess what? On both occasions I took them, cracked them open, and gulped them down...just kidding, I poured them right down the kitchen sink. It felt so good, and I knew I was telling myself that it was really, finally over. In the past, I would have succumbed, and had many times. This was different - something changed within me.