dwtbd

What do you mean by having an opportunity to drink? That opportunity is available to all adults 24/7.

Lightning Bug

Ok Jeff, lots of good feedback in this thread. What is going on in your head as you read the replies?

thomas11

My thoughts are what I would consider fairly normal. I agree with some responses, and disagree with others. Couple things come to mind.

**Alcohol has no power, it is the alcoholic who gives it its power.
**Sobriety is not a one size fits all solution.
**I make an effort to be a positive part of this forum, but I don't let responses to my threads get me too high or too low. I read them, take what I can to help me, and move on. No disrespect, just the way it is.
**Regarding some folks, when the only tool in your belt is a hammer, everything looks like a nail. That makes things difficult.

My two cents.

Dee74

I'm a glass half full guy and I think you can do it Jeff.

That being said other peoples input here is pretty wise stuff - you may ultimately decide some of it or all of it's not applicable to you, but it certainly helped me today

Actually, I think it is.

Don't drink, lol

D

thomas11

Leave it to you Dee, you got me. And you are right.

EndGameNYC

I don't think it was "just an honest question." Only the great philosophers say what they mean to say, and nothing more. For the rest of us, we tend to reveal much more in what we say than we know or than we intend to say. You only need to consider the range and depth of the responses to your "honest question" to appreciate this.

I might be greatful that people make the time and effort to follow my struggles. It only demonstrates support and respect.

thomas11

Endgame, I most always appreciate your input. But with all due respect, you are blocked. In my personal opinion, you've been brainwashed by the institutions that teach you such things. Which is fine, but you might want to know your audience before you speak of such things.

Venecia

Jeff, I think that statement captures why you occasionally receive feedback that is rather blunt.

No one would doubt that you are a supportive person here on SR, and that you often offer kind, supportive words for others.

What concerns me, frankly, is that statements like that above often reflect a sense of terminal uniqueness. I've seen it in others here, not just you.

People who are sober are not cookie-cutter humans. But sobriety and recovery have a common thread in which we're bound by a fierce resolve to never drink again and to rebuild the foundations of our lives around that commitment.

My two cents ...

EndGameNYC

I intended no offense in my comments.

I wasn't implying that your question was dishonest -- although I can appreciate that one might see it what I wrote in that way -- only that it was more than, say, a "simple" question. You were right to ask it and, as it turns out, your question revealed more about your thinking then you at first realized. That, I think, is largely responsible for your getting such sound feedback.

As for being brainwashed by institutions, I made significant progress in my field because I rarely toed the line. I never considered myself to be a rebel, but I did have a knack of finding a better way, and made meaningful contributions to my field.

ccam1973

Jeff, good for you on staying strong. The opportunity to drink is always there for us. The longer I stay sober, the more that sobriety becomes my norm, my lifestyle, my peace. I constantly remind myself that if I were to drink again, I would be submersed back into a world of loneliness and darkness. Maybe not right away, but soon enough I would lose control again.

For me, that is why when my wife is out of town, or I am at a baseball game or with friends, I won't drink. Plenty of us here have spent years, decades reeling in self pity, justifying why we need to drink, only to have that false need destroy us.

Maybe you are at the point of realizing and truly believing that being sober is who you are. No more hiding.

Stay strong Jeff, you know to reach out if you are ever feeling weak.

Nowsthetime

Hello:

I didn't read so much into your question... Maybe disguised AV, maybe not.

Perhaps you just don't feel like drinking because you have learned that it sucks and you never want to be that person again... You appreciate the long way you have come... I don't know and you don't need to know either. Just stick to your plan and keep working it all the way.

Don't complicate things with mind gymnastics. When we are mentally tired our AV strikes harder.

Lean on us. We are here for you.

Dee74

The thing about forums is - if you ask for feedback, you'll get the whole spectrum

I know a lot of readers here are new.

Can I just ask everyone that we keep personal remarks to PM (if you must make them)

...and please resist the temptation to tell people they're on your ignore list.

It really defeats the purpose - and more often than not makes the mods job that much harder.

Thanks

Dee
Moderator
SR

PurpleKnight

Hey Jeff, sounds like a positive viewpoint, by the end of my drinking career I wanted to be Sober more than I wanted to drink.

Maybe this is a turning point!!

fred59

we have all the right reasons not to drink
it is killing us
family obligations
job
but in the end all of that can go away we have to stay sober no matter what, it is our choice, so don't set yourself up to drink or you will

Longpasttime

I had many occasions of truly not wanting to drink, and i didn't. This is different than many alcoholics. Alcoholism is not one size fits all, but i will disagree with you as i think sobriety is. The problem was the times i wanted to drink and did.
I am glad you don't want to drink despite it being a normal trigger situation for you, but what is your plan for the next time you do want to drink?

Dee74

How are you doing Jeff?

D

thomas11

Hi Dee, doing fine. Still pretty bored waiting on my license. Kind of on a health kick. Started new exercise routine last week. Surprisingly the month off while I was in school was not a death sentence in terms of my conditioning. Having breakfast this morning with the owner of the brokerage house. Devising a marketing plan for myself. I have a client list of around 850 people from my previous business. Hoping to leverage that.

Side note: I've mentioned it takes time for trust to build with family and friends. My father bought a boat last week, I went over yesterday to see him after working out. He knows wife is out of town. First thing he says to me: Huh, looks like you've had a few today now that (wife) is gone. I almost got pissed off. Instead I just said "Are you serious? I just got done working out".

Dee74

Sadly some people, for their own reasons, will continue to see you as they want to Jeff.

Brush it off.
Glad you're staying focused

D

Lightning Bug

Brush it off Jeff and keep on trucking down the road!

EndGameNYC

Okay, Jeff. I hope you see this or that someone else picks up on it. You haven't checked in for a while, and I'm getting concerned.