Eternity42

Hi everyone
I've been addicted to codeine for about six years. It started as getting prescribed 30/500 cocodamol by the GP for migraines and then gradually I began topping up with over the counter meds. After a while my script of 30 tablets a week only lasted about a day and I've been taking up to 60 (sometimes more) nurofen plus daily, how I'm still here, I don't know.

I thought I'd been hiding it but everything came to a head on Sunday night. I'd ran out of tablets, borrowed some from a friend, my mum and dad found out and confronted me. My mum put two and two getting i.e. always taking tablets, going to chemists etc and i had to tell her the truth, although not the exact amount as she'd have passed out! My two kids also now know (my daughter is 22 tomorrow and my son is 19). My daughter also had figured it out and we sat and cried together on Sunday night. She told me that she felt like over the last few years, she'd lost her real mummy as I'd changed. That broke my bloody heart. I've had to think long and hard and tonight I took my last tablets.

I know it's going to be extremely hard and I'll have to dig deep to find the strength to do this but I have to, for my sake and my family's. My mum and dad have been great. They live close by and have said when I start to feel rough, I can go and stay with them if it would help. If need be, I'll hand over my car keys so I can't go and get more!

I'm sorry for the long post and thank you if you've read it. I'd be very grateful if anyone could give me some advice or help on what to expect over the next week or so and how to get through it. I already have quinine tablets for the restless legs which I know are horrible so hopefully that part won't be too bad.

Thanks again xx

Soberwolf

Hello Eternity

Mountainmanbob

Good luck and you and your family will heal if you stay clean and sober.
It's the only way for us to have a normal life.
Remember -- we are parents -- many eyes are watching.
Feels good to set a fine example.
Helps to keep us sober.
Gather your sober tool belt.
Takes work -- but -- it's worth it.
M-Bob

Anna

Hi Eternity,

Welcome and I'm glad you've made this decision. How wonderful to have good family support. I'm sure that will be helpful.

D122y

Eternity,

Welcome.

I vote addiction is addiction whether it is booze, meth, benzo..whatever.

We are here for you. It helps to talk about it. Journaling.

The thing I did not realize as continued to drink, was the long term mental damage I had done to my body.

Physically, I am in pretty good shape. I work out a bit and my stamina is better than many 20 somethings. I am 51.

Mentally, at 15 months clean, it is like a mystery on how i will feel each day..sometimes minute to minute.

I am, orhave become, a hypochondriac. Every little thing gets me concerned.

But, since quitting drugging w booze, sometimes I feel emotionless..so the stress of life is welcome.

From what I have learned, pills can be challenging from a detox and PAWS view.

I am no expert, so dr visits first and as required. Hopefully someone w experience will chime in to give better support and experience.

Thanks for the post.

Dee74

Hi and welcome eternity - you'll find a lot of support here
Are you going to speak to your Doctor about this?

D

Eternity42

Thanks D & Marianne

I'm dreading it to be honest but I have to do this, it's been ruining my life. I've closed myself off from all my friends and stopped doing the things I enjoy. The last time I had a night out was for my 40th birthday, over two years ago. You seem to lose interest in everything except where you're getting your next lot of tablets from!!!

Eternity42

Hi
My dr is aware of the problem. I've also been through the subutex programme before which didn't work for me, I don't think I was ready for it. I've tried tapering before but if the tablets are there, I'll take them. The doctor has prescribed quinine for the restless legs and loperamide too and has told me to contact him if I need him so I'll see how it goes.

Dee74

Thats great
I asked because if you were taking codeine with paracetamol it's a good idea to get things like your liver checked out.

Sounds like you have that covered

D

Eternity42

I know what you mean. I've been anemic for a while and am on iron so I get my bloods checked every few months, including liver and kidneys. I've been lucky so far but I'm not pushing it anymore xx

IvanMike

It won't be fun, and then you never have to do it again.

"Dope-sick" acute withdrawal is worst on days 3-5 and slowly gets better. Some symptoms linger for a while. Feeling "normal" can take a good long time, but it does happen. Mood swings and depression are all normal, but they don't last forever.

I can tell you that NA made the difference for me, and still does. I also went to an outpatient for six weeks which took me a long time to realize just how helpful it was.

Hang in there. I assure you, it's worth it.

Eternity42

Thank you so much for all your replies, I really appreciate it. The worst bit today seems to be anxiety, is this normal?

IvanMike

yup

IWalkTheLine

Hi
Im withdrawing from N+ and prescription codeine aswell, like said above day 3 and 4 is the worst. Ive been through a few withdrawls but with your family and doctor behind you you should have a better chance. Mines a secret addiction, good luck.

The loperamide and hot baths will help,I use Epson salts aswell. Let us know how you get on!

IWalkTheLine

Anxiety and boredom are the worse bit in the first week, although restless legs are a close second.

MidnightRider

When I was detoxing earlier in the year... I found Watching a ton of Movies really helped. I have the Netflix and it was a life saver. Still is.

Watching a movie will help take your mind off "stuff"!

Eternity42

Hi everyone
Thank you so much for your replies and support, it means a lot. I had a slip on Monday and took some codeine and I'm so angry at myself. I haven't touched it since and I'm determined not to. Still don't feel great, no energy but restless at the same time, if that makes sense and the bloody restless legs had gone but have come back. Have I put myself right back at the beginning with that slip or should things start improving a bit soon?

IvanMike

Well, you start back at day one.

"Slip" is one of those words that I'm not fond of. It makes it sound as though we were minding our business and through no fault of our own we found ourselves with the drugs in our bodies. We make a conscious decision to use.

That said, beating yourself up for it won't help. Being honest about why you used and not doing it again will.

Have you gone to NA or any treatment?

Eternity42

Hi everyone
Well after stupidly taking some codeine last Monday (15th) I started CT from the beginning again the next day. It was a rough week, with RLS, boredom, insomnia and anxiety definitely being the worst symptoms. It felt never ending, until yesterday. Yesterday was my 7th day and I noticed a real difference in how I felt, the anxiety was almost gone, my mood had improved and I felt my energy returning. Today was even a bit better. Thankfully I'm not having any cravings but I realise that could change at any time and I'll have to be strong. I have made an appointment with the local Drugs and Alcohol Team for support and have joined a few online NA meetings until I can get to one. I couldn't have done this without the support of my family and all you wonderful people on here and a lot of prayer. I know it's only been a week but I didn't think I'd make it this far. For anyone still trying or about to go CT, if I can do it, anyone can and it is so worth it. Thank you so much for all your support xxx

PurpleKnight

Day 7 is fantastic Eternity, all sounds very positive!!