Dee74

I think it's pretty common

Force yourself Tate

D

Lance40

It sounds like you are making positive steps toward recovery. Just a word about AA and 90 meetings in 90 days. That's a really big commitment. If it's something you want to try then definitely go for it. The right kind of meeting can offer a good amount of support, but in my experience the real power of AA was getting actively involved in the personal step work and the 1:1 sessions with my sponsor. That's where I'd encourage you to really focus your efforts. Wishing you all the best.

tomsteve

how to you know she doesnt want to do 12th step work for free like every other sponsor does?
and it wont be her working on your crazy- she will be guiding you to work on your crazy.

not uncommon to not want to go to that 1st meeting. probably, like most of us, its fear, which can be combated with courage and faith.

Fear knocked at the door; faith answered; no one was there."

I don't know to whom this quote should be attributed, but it certainly indicates very clearly that fear is an illusion. I create the illusion myself.
I experienced fear early in my life and I mistakenly thought that the mere presence of it made me a coward. I didn't know that one of the definitions of "courage" is "the willingness to do the right thing in spite of fear." Courage, then, is not necessarily the absence of fear.
During the times I didn't have love in my life I most assuredly had fear. To fear God is to be afraid of joy. In looking back, I realize that, during the times I feared God most, there was no joy in my life. As I learned not to fear God, I also learned to experience joy.

tate9685

Ok so this is weird. My sponsor is not returning my texts and we were supposed to meet last night and nothing. Meanwhile, as I have struggled in AA with the higher power aspect and powerlessness and have been interested in trying alternatives secular recovery etc. I found out my city has 2 Smart Recovery meetings a week. So I called the facilitator just to make sure the address and the times that the meetings are held was correct and we had a nice chat today. I am going to start Smart recovery this Thursday. I'm on day five or is it a six I think I'm on six now. And feeling hopeful and content. I hope all of you are enjoying your Tuesday. Sending a hug.

Pixus

Hey! Here you are! I hope everything's OK with the sponsor, maybe an emergency came up. Great news on the SMART meetings. Reminds me I should start going to some too. Let us know how you go!

Dame

You have turned your slip into a learning experience. Please don't continue to give yourself a hard time. Just remember that buying and drinking again was an impulse in response to a set of emotions. Most of us are fairly impulsive, I think. So you can work on that if it applies.