Be as you are Weekender August 5th Part 2
Member
Join Date: Mar 2014
Location: PA
Posts: 12,000
Everyone who drinks, especially those of the alcoholic variety, takes a gamble every time they drink. And like casino gambling, the house always wins. Sure, you may have a lucky streak and think it will always be that way. Eventually your luck will run out. The house always wins. Alcohol IS the house.
When I quit drinking, did I think I think I could continue to drink - control it - and still continue with my life? You bet your ass I did. Even though I had those thoughts, I knew the house had already beat me. When I lost my job, it was a wake up call. I made the decision that I would never allow alcohol to affect my life ever again. I didn't think I had to quit drinking at the time. But I knew it was the only thing I had to do. They only way to beat it was to not play against it.
I took alcohol out of the equation totally. Alcohol took its last dime from me.
After I made the decision to quit drinking, I took the opportunity to review my life. Take an "inventory" of the negative effects alcohol had on your life. Sometimes you have to really dig deep and pull back those moments you tried to hide in the back closet of your memory. Sometimes I read what someone wrote and it jogged my memory. I am very lucky, and amazed, that I am still alive today. After having gone through my episodes of the past, I think how different my life would be today if was I wise enough to have quit drinking twenty/thirty years ago. Even ten years ago would have made a profound difference in my life. I can't get it back. The only thing I can do is to never lose what I have now, my peace of mind above all else.
So... You are still hanging on to the idea that you can manage drinking, maybe next year or next week. Take the time to go through your past. Why are you here in the first place? Something, or a collective of somethings brought you here.
Yet you eschew all those reasons and believe you can continue on and things will be different this time. I can assure you that they won't.
Would you put everything you own or your life on one spin of a roulette wheel?
That's what you are doing every time you decide to drink again.
When I quit drinking, did I think I think I could continue to drink - control it - and still continue with my life? You bet your ass I did. Even though I had those thoughts, I knew the house had already beat me. When I lost my job, it was a wake up call. I made the decision that I would never allow alcohol to affect my life ever again. I didn't think I had to quit drinking at the time. But I knew it was the only thing I had to do. They only way to beat it was to not play against it.
I took alcohol out of the equation totally. Alcohol took its last dime from me.
After I made the decision to quit drinking, I took the opportunity to review my life. Take an "inventory" of the negative effects alcohol had on your life. Sometimes you have to really dig deep and pull back those moments you tried to hide in the back closet of your memory. Sometimes I read what someone wrote and it jogged my memory. I am very lucky, and amazed, that I am still alive today. After having gone through my episodes of the past, I think how different my life would be today if was I wise enough to have quit drinking twenty/thirty years ago. Even ten years ago would have made a profound difference in my life. I can't get it back. The only thing I can do is to never lose what I have now, my peace of mind above all else.
So... You are still hanging on to the idea that you can manage drinking, maybe next year or next week. Take the time to go through your past. Why are you here in the first place? Something, or a collective of somethings brought you here.
Yet you eschew all those reasons and believe you can continue on and things will be different this time. I can assure you that they won't.
Would you put everything you own or your life on one spin of a roulette wheel?
That's what you are doing every time you decide to drink again.
Giving up is NOT an option.
Join Date: Jan 2015
Location: Western Wisconsin
Posts: 7,808
That sums it up nicely, Brain. Alcohol has taken its last dime from me. I, too, am lucky to be alive. I'm fully aware that if I drink again, it could very well be the last time. My past history proves to me that I do very stupid and risky things when I drink. Things I can't predict or control. So, best thing for me, from here on out, is to take that variable completely out of the equation. I don't have a death wish.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2014
Posts: 974
Good morning everyone
Thank you brain and MLD. Your posts really hit home. I am very fortunate that my drinking never caused me any consequences but I know if I start up again it is just a matter of time.
1 Corinthians 10:13
Thank you brain and MLD. Your posts really hit home. I am very fortunate that my drinking never caused me any consequences but I know if I start up again it is just a matter of time.
1 Corinthians 10:13
...holds the key
Join Date: Dec 2014
Location: Texas
Posts: 7,065
Well said, Brain. It's a gamble I'm no longer willing to take. Besides, I like being able to concentrate on things other than drinking. I like being free of the obsession. I no longer have a death wish either, Marty. I did for many years and booze helped fuel that. But the bottom line is I had to have the lightbulb moment for myself. It's something that only we can do for ourselves. I hope you choose life, trees 
Morning rogues
Morning rogues
Member
Join Date: Oct 2013
Location: Midwest
Posts: 9,029
Nice, Brain.
Trees it's not worth it. I have that nagging idea that I can moderate my drinking but I was never able to before. Why would now be any different? Especially because I know even before I start that just one drink would never satisfy.
Monday morning and work.
Trees it's not worth it. I have that nagging idea that I can moderate my drinking but I was never able to before. Why would now be any different? Especially because I know even before I start that just one drink would never satisfy.
Monday morning and work.
Member
Join Date: May 2014
Location: usa
Posts: 3,938
Good morning eveyone!
chocolate croissant sounds heavenly. ..
Santiago is adorable. ..
drinking certainly is a gamble with your life. The next drink could be the last and I am grateful that nothing horrible happened while I was drinking.
Have a great day everyone!
I have an easy Monday, work wise.
chocolate croissant sounds heavenly. ..
Santiago is adorable. ..
drinking certainly is a gamble with your life. The next drink could be the last and I am grateful that nothing horrible happened while I was drinking.
Have a great day everyone!
I have an easy Monday, work wise.
Guest
Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: The Deep South
Posts: 14,636
Trees, I launched into some things right away after getting sober, that, although I wouldn't call them 'risky,' were strenuous, exhausting, and took a lot of my time and energy... I launched into learning how to lift free weights and did that for about one year. I also started running. I trained for only a short while before I signed up for races. I think I pushed myself a little too hard with it all, and had a period where I crashed from it.
I don't know how much of this was an idea to 'better' myself, engage in healthy new activities, or to deal with anxiety and fear of the unknown ... because when we get sober we're diving into the unknown in a sense. I used these activities as 'anchors' more than likely. Or maybe diversions? Who knows?
Later, I began overhauling my clothes closet. I got rid of all my old clothes and replaced them with new ones. I shopped and shopped and shopped. And it didn't stop there ... I shopped for the entire house. New dinnerware, new plants outside for landscaping, and so on... I shopped a lot! And now I'm paying off the credit card debt.
So, yes, I engaged in some 'risky' behavior, sort of. Much less risky than drinking though.
Still, I learned to deal with consequences from over-exercising and over-spending. There are some immediate, sucky consequences... and lasting ones.
Change is a must for alcoholic drinkers and addicts. We absolutely must change the primary habit. After I did that, I saw no reason not to change in other areas of my life. I have continued that habit of change as I'm approaching my fourth year sober. I hope it never stops.
Change isn't comfortable, but it feels so amazing later when you feel a sense of accomplishment, and when you feel a sense of relief. We get used to carrying a 40 lb chair around with us all our drinking lives, and when we set it down, it doesn't feel quite 'right' at first, but later, we feel relief. And we're so glad we did it.
I don't know how much of this was an idea to 'better' myself, engage in healthy new activities, or to deal with anxiety and fear of the unknown ... because when we get sober we're diving into the unknown in a sense. I used these activities as 'anchors' more than likely. Or maybe diversions? Who knows?
Later, I began overhauling my clothes closet. I got rid of all my old clothes and replaced them with new ones. I shopped and shopped and shopped. And it didn't stop there ... I shopped for the entire house. New dinnerware, new plants outside for landscaping, and so on... I shopped a lot! And now I'm paying off the credit card debt.
So, yes, I engaged in some 'risky' behavior, sort of. Much less risky than drinking though.
Still, I learned to deal with consequences from over-exercising and over-spending. There are some immediate, sucky consequences... and lasting ones.
Change is a must for alcoholic drinkers and addicts. We absolutely must change the primary habit. After I did that, I saw no reason not to change in other areas of my life. I have continued that habit of change as I'm approaching my fourth year sober. I hope it never stops.
Change isn't comfortable, but it feels so amazing later when you feel a sense of accomplishment, and when you feel a sense of relief. We get used to carrying a 40 lb chair around with us all our drinking lives, and when we set it down, it doesn't feel quite 'right' at first, but later, we feel relief.
And we're so glad we did it.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2014
Location: Colorado
Posts: 3,474
.
SU ~
Yah, dropped 1 of 2 ~50 lb. Steel Weight Distribution Bars. Fell right out the Hitch. I had a minor incident of this happen prior, so I'm treating it like a Hitch Design Flaw. I'll solve it on the fundamental level. Retain a loose Bar...
I'll drill out the Trailer end of these Bars to loosely fit through a mondo Carabiner. Fasten some medium heft Chain or Cable to the front of the Trailer Chassis. Size this Chain to have some give, and to safely drag along either of these Bars should one ever drop out again.
Beats an all-new Hitch Assy for $350- and up from a different Manufacturer. A new Bar was ~$55-.
Sao ~
Many thanks for finding/posting that Drain Clean-out Vid. I don't remove the top lil Tub Handle part. I cover it with a Plastic Bag, and loosely tape it in place. I use a hellacious amount of vigor on the Plunger vs. that Vid technique. On the Plunger Handle upstroke, you can see the Plastic Bag suck in, and seal. Whatever gets 'er done, since this kinda Clog is gonna happen again...
Somewhat-rare Morning Lightning/Rain a few Miles away in the Mountains. Neat to watch w/Coffee. Sober...
.
SU ~
Yah, dropped 1 of 2 ~50 lb. Steel Weight Distribution Bars. Fell right out the Hitch. I had a minor incident of this happen prior, so I'm treating it like a Hitch Design Flaw. I'll solve it on the fundamental level. Retain a loose Bar...
I'll drill out the Trailer end of these Bars to loosely fit through a mondo Carabiner. Fasten some medium heft Chain or Cable to the front of the Trailer Chassis. Size this Chain to have some give, and to safely drag along either of these Bars should one ever drop out again.
Beats an all-new Hitch Assy for $350- and up from a different Manufacturer. A new Bar was ~$55-.
Sao ~
Many thanks for finding/posting that Drain Clean-out Vid. I don't remove the top lil Tub Handle part. I cover it with a Plastic Bag, and loosely tape it in place. I use a hellacious amount of vigor on the Plunger vs. that Vid technique. On the Plunger Handle upstroke, you can see the Plastic Bag suck in, and seal. Whatever gets 'er done, since this kinda Clog is gonna happen again...
Somewhat-rare Morning Lightning/Rain a few Miles away in the Mountains. Neat to watch w/Coffee. Sober...
.
I look young for my age.
Join Date: Jun 2016
Location: Wisconsin
Posts: 932
@Jen @Ruby, I'm probably overselling things a bit on my life right now--a little bit of pink cloud mixed with vacation vibes. I'm back at work this morning. Blech.
Jen, I'm not sure if anyone actually wants my life story. The short answer to your question is that 1) I became an alcoholic later in life, after I had the job, my wife, a house, and a kid. So, although things got bad later, I was able to "coast" for a while in the life I had set up. 2) For a while I was able to confine my drinking to the weekends, and so was able to maintain my job and keep up with the family. It was only when the weekend binges got worse (from just Friday to all day all weekend long) and starting spilling over into the week that things got bad. 3) When things got bad, they got bad in a hurry--within a couple of months I was doing all of the common alcoholic behaviors (chugging from the bottle, hiding bottles, lying, driving under the influence, drinking in the morning, etc. etc.), and having pretty terrible withdrawal symptoms any time I went a while without a drink. It wasn't long after that, that I accepted my alcoholism for what it was. The only sane thought I had during that time was the realization of how much I would be losing if I let it continue.
I realize how lucky I am to still have the life I have, despite my drinking. When I quit smoking, it was because my first child was on the way. Similarly here, I finally realized that I was surrounded by all of the motivation I could want to get sober.
I don't want to jinx anything--I'm still very early in recovery. But this time around feels different. For the first time, I've accepted that I can never ever have another drink, because I know where it always leads. There's so much more in my life to be thankful for, and this past week of vacation was all about focusing on those things. As a result, I'm more committed than ever before to seeing this thing through.
Jen, I'm not sure if anyone actually wants my life story. The short answer to your question is that 1) I became an alcoholic later in life, after I had the job, my wife, a house, and a kid. So, although things got bad later, I was able to "coast" for a while in the life I had set up. 2) For a while I was able to confine my drinking to the weekends, and so was able to maintain my job and keep up with the family. It was only when the weekend binges got worse (from just Friday to all day all weekend long) and starting spilling over into the week that things got bad. 3) When things got bad, they got bad in a hurry--within a couple of months I was doing all of the common alcoholic behaviors (chugging from the bottle, hiding bottles, lying, driving under the influence, drinking in the morning, etc. etc.), and having pretty terrible withdrawal symptoms any time I went a while without a drink. It wasn't long after that, that I accepted my alcoholism for what it was. The only sane thought I had during that time was the realization of how much I would be losing if I let it continue.
I realize how lucky I am to still have the life I have, despite my drinking. When I quit smoking, it was because my first child was on the way. Similarly here, I finally realized that I was surrounded by all of the motivation I could want to get sober.
I don't want to jinx anything--I'm still very early in recovery. But this time around feels different. For the first time, I've accepted that I can never ever have another drink, because I know where it always leads. There's so much more in my life to be thankful for, and this past week of vacation was all about focusing on those things. As a result, I'm more committed than ever before to seeing this thing through.
Guest
Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: The Deep South
Posts: 14,636
Mesa, my husband was aware of the weight bearing issues you mentioned. He nodded his head and agreed with me that it isn't feasible to proceed with his plan. He is now looking at Casitas for sale. And others that are similar. I'm thinking a 20 footer is the length we need. Somewhere between 16' and 20'. Bigger would be nicer, but this will be adequate for a couple with no kids.
What is going on with your trailer? You replaced some sort of bar? I tried to figure it out. Was it a support bar?
What is going on with your trailer? You replaced some sort of bar? I tried to figure it out. Was it a support bar?
Member
Join Date: Mar 2014
Location: Colorado
Posts: 3,474
.
Wow ~
Having followed your Posts for quite some time, that's uber-huge for the focus to now shift to locating a Casita, or other Commercial Trailer! Good News! Non-Project Trailers = Fun NOW!
One of 2 Trunnion/Weight Distribution Bars just up and fell off during the Tow Home yesterday. Those Bars that off-load some of the ~800 lb. Hitch downward pressure from the Trailer off to the entire Truck Suspension. Not just the Rear Axle. These Bars are shaped like the letter 'L', and are supposed to lock up into major fittings on both sides of the Trailer Weight Distribution Hitch. I can't link a Pic, since they're all from Commercial Sites selling Parts.
Inflated 'Air Bags' I added inside the Truck Rear Springs likely saved my Bacon. That Suspension stiffening made this Trunnion Bar loss almost unnoticeable.
Add ~750 lbs min to the 'dry' weight of any Trailer when estimating what your SUV can handle. Water. Chairs. Pink Flamingos. Foofy Chick Guano.-)
Those nice 19' 2016 Airstream Bambis run only $68k to $71k.
- 19' Airstream Bambi Pix -
OK, enough Thread Hijackin' for a Monday!
.
Wow ~
Having followed your Posts for quite some time, that's uber-huge for the focus to now shift to locating a Casita, or other Commercial Trailer! Good News! Non-Project Trailers = Fun NOW!
One of 2 Trunnion/Weight Distribution Bars just up and fell off during the Tow Home yesterday. Those Bars that off-load some of the ~800 lb. Hitch downward pressure from the Trailer off to the entire Truck Suspension. Not just the Rear Axle. These Bars are shaped like the letter 'L', and are supposed to lock up into major fittings on both sides of the Trailer Weight Distribution Hitch. I can't link a Pic, since they're all from Commercial Sites selling Parts.
Inflated 'Air Bags' I added inside the Truck Rear Springs likely saved my Bacon. That Suspension stiffening made this Trunnion Bar loss almost unnoticeable.
Add ~750 lbs min to the 'dry' weight of any Trailer when estimating what your SUV can handle. Water. Chairs. Pink Flamingos. Foofy Chick Guano.-)
Those nice 19' 2016 Airstream Bambis run only $68k to $71k.
- 19' Airstream Bambi Pix -
OK, enough Thread Hijackin' for a Monday!
.
Guest
Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: The Deep South
Posts: 14,636
It isn't a new shift. I was going to buy the Casita before I ever met him.
He knows I've wanted one for a while now. I was going to rent or sell the house and live in and travel 'round the country in the Casita while writing for $. We just got married in the meantime.
There are Casita and Scamp brochures stacked up in my office.
I was going to buy the Casita before I ever met him. He knows I've wanted one for a while now. I was going to rent or sell the house and live in and travel 'round the country in the Casita while writing for $. We just got married in the meantime.
There are Casita and Scamp brochures stacked up in my office.
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