I'm new, hello!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2007
Posts: 2
I'm new, hello!
Hi,
I created this account back in 2007, but never posted. Someone at AA recommended this forum, and I figured at some point in the last long years I would have made an account, and I was right.
Not a big fan of my username but I'll live with it.
So, I'm new.... to recovery and to these forums. I'll think I'll be around the 12 step sections mostly. For years and years I did nothing but drink and use -- then about a year and a half ago I joined a different forum, and started to pull things back together a bit. In that time I've managed a few stretches of a few months without drinking.
But I always end up back in the same place. On the floor with no idea how I got there and no idea what I've done for the last little while. I've been slippy sliding towards a relapse for months, and it all came to a head as it always does. I drank for about a week I guess -- it's hard for me to know exactly when I stopped as it's always a total blur during and for a few days afterwards.
I think it's 10 days since I last drank. The last 8 of those days I've been going to AA meetings.
I joined today because everyone at AA is sooo friendly, but I still can't quite bring myself to pick up the phone and randomly call someone when I'm feeling bad.
I'm feeling bad today. I won't use the word "amends", but I tried to apologise to a very old friend, who I argued with when I was last drunk. It fell on deaf ears -- I know from read receipts that she read my apology but chose not to reply. I'm not going to push it. To be honest, I wish I'd never said anything and just let the friendship die. But that'd be the old me, and I'm trying to change, since the way I was before was a frickin' disaster.
I'm off to a meeting in a couple of hours, but I thought I'd introduce myself here, too.
I know lots about getting sober, absolutely nothing about living sober. So maybe I'll be able to help some people, too. I know what it's like to not be able to put the drink down for even a few hours, and I've been that way for long periods of time before. So you never know. But I'll be cautious with the advice, since I'm a long way from sorted.
Thanks for having me!
I created this account back in 2007, but never posted. Someone at AA recommended this forum, and I figured at some point in the last long years I would have made an account, and I was right.
Not a big fan of my username but I'll live with it.
So, I'm new.... to recovery and to these forums. I'll think I'll be around the 12 step sections mostly. For years and years I did nothing but drink and use -- then about a year and a half ago I joined a different forum, and started to pull things back together a bit. In that time I've managed a few stretches of a few months without drinking.
But I always end up back in the same place. On the floor with no idea how I got there and no idea what I've done for the last little while. I've been slippy sliding towards a relapse for months, and it all came to a head as it always does. I drank for about a week I guess -- it's hard for me to know exactly when I stopped as it's always a total blur during and for a few days afterwards.
I think it's 10 days since I last drank. The last 8 of those days I've been going to AA meetings.
I joined today because everyone at AA is sooo friendly, but I still can't quite bring myself to pick up the phone and randomly call someone when I'm feeling bad.
I'm feeling bad today. I won't use the word "amends", but I tried to apologise to a very old friend, who I argued with when I was last drunk. It fell on deaf ears -- I know from read receipts that she read my apology but chose not to reply. I'm not going to push it. To be honest, I wish I'd never said anything and just let the friendship die. But that'd be the old me, and I'm trying to change, since the way I was before was a frickin' disaster.
I'm off to a meeting in a couple of hours, but I thought I'd introduce myself here, too.
I know lots about getting sober, absolutely nothing about living sober. So maybe I'll be able to help some people, too. I know what it's like to not be able to put the drink down for even a few hours, and I've been that way for long periods of time before. So you never know. But I'll be cautious with the advice, since I'm a long way from sorted.
Thanks for having me!
The road goes on forever
Join Date: Jul 2016
Location: Southern USA
Posts: 1,107
Hi there C-Girl!
8 days is great... I just wanted to say hello and welcome!
Hope you spend some time here reading and replying to others and it perks you up!
Also we have an August Class -- Another thread mainly people in their first days of sobriety... Check it out!
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...-part-1-a.html
8 days is great... I just wanted to say hello and welcome!
Hope you spend some time here reading and replying to others and it perks you up!
Also we have an August Class -- Another thread mainly people in their first days of sobriety... Check it out!
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...-part-1-a.html
Member
Join Date: Mar 2016
Location: NC
Posts: 662
Welcome! I am happy you decided to post, this is really a great place to vent, talk to others, get advice, learn, etc. etc.
So happy to hear you are going to meetings- connecting with others and have over a week sober! Keep adding more and more tools to your recovery and it will continue to grow and grow! As for learning to live sober- that comes with experience
Take it one step at a time- you can do it
As for the apology- those around us are used to empty promises and up until now we have always just gone back to our old ways. The longer you are sober, the stronger your recovery is, and the more changes you make will make the difference in how others view us and if they feel they can take our apology seriously and if they want to reconnect. Some won't, some will, and some you will decide you want to cut out. Things will slowly start to fall into place. As long as you continue to work on yourself, continue to move forward, and basically continue to do the "right" thing then you will find life is a lot easier and better
So happy to hear you are going to meetings- connecting with others and have over a week sober! Keep adding more and more tools to your recovery and it will continue to grow and grow! As for learning to live sober- that comes with experience
Take it one step at a time- you can do it As for the apology- those around us are used to empty promises and up until now we have always just gone back to our old ways. The longer you are sober, the stronger your recovery is, and the more changes you make will make the difference in how others view us and if they feel they can take our apology seriously and if they want to reconnect. Some won't, some will, and some you will decide you want to cut out. Things will slowly start to fall into place. As long as you continue to work on yourself, continue to move forward, and basically continue to do the "right" thing then you will find life is a lot easier and better
Member
Join Date: Apr 2014
Location: UK
Posts: 6,902
Hi and welcome. You can easily change your username. I altered mine a little so it wasn't so easily track able to my email account. I think it was Anna in administration I sent a message to and told her what I'd like it changed to.
Please start texting people in AA just to check in, as well as using this forum. I know people are generally happy to meet for a coffee and chat to support newcomers in my area, and I'll bet it's the same where you are as well.
I know EXACTLY what you mean about BEING sober as opposed to LIVING Sober. The first is about addressing the alcoholic DRINKING and the second is about addressing out alcoholic THINKING. This will come with time and as you learn to apply the program to your daily life. The steps will help with this, as will reading the literature. If you haven't got a Big Book or a copy of the little Living Sober book, then you are missing out. Both are full of wisdom.
I also use the AA speaker recordings between meetings. They can be listened to on youtube or downloaded free on this site...
5500+ AA Speakers & Tapes - Organized & Mobile-Friendly!
I bought myself a cheap little mp3 player that I can keep in my bag with some on, so can get a little dose of AA whenever I need it lol.
But this site is really helpful as well. The people here are full of wisdom. Sure, sometimes people have told me things I haven't wanted to hear. But then, often those have been the very things I most needed to hear in order to get past particular stumbling blocks.
Anyway. Keep reading and posting. I wish you all the best for your recovery.
Please start texting people in AA just to check in, as well as using this forum. I know people are generally happy to meet for a coffee and chat to support newcomers in my area, and I'll bet it's the same where you are as well.
I know EXACTLY what you mean about BEING sober as opposed to LIVING Sober. The first is about addressing the alcoholic DRINKING and the second is about addressing out alcoholic THINKING. This will come with time and as you learn to apply the program to your daily life. The steps will help with this, as will reading the literature. If you haven't got a Big Book or a copy of the little Living Sober book, then you are missing out. Both are full of wisdom.
I also use the AA speaker recordings between meetings. They can be listened to on youtube or downloaded free on this site...
5500+ AA Speakers & Tapes - Organized & Mobile-Friendly!
I bought myself a cheap little mp3 player that I can keep in my bag with some on, so can get a little dose of AA whenever I need it lol.
But this site is really helpful as well. The people here are full of wisdom. Sure, sometimes people have told me things I haven't wanted to hear. But then, often those have been the very things I most needed to hear in order to get past particular stumbling blocks.
Anyway. Keep reading and posting. I wish you all the best for your recovery.
Blue Belt
Join Date: Jul 2015
Location: Soberville, USA
Posts: 4,174
Compsci,
Welcome. This place will save your life if you let it.
For some, me included, stopping was not as hard as staying happy, at least content, while stopped. I needed something to do instead of drink. Basically, hobbies that make me happy.
That is what I have learned in 15 months of sobriety.
The booze damaged my brain.s dopemine production. So, once the shine wore off of being sober....I felt very...melencoly, emotionless, sort of dead...inside.
When I was a drunk the constant state of getting drunk, being drunk, recovering, and repeat put me in a fantasy party world. When I had a physical break down a few times in a couple of days...it scared me into quitting.
At 80 days clean...my mind was a wreck...I thought I was going insane...I googled it...and found SR.
Now I feel so good. Not perfect but, 1000x better.
SR saved me.
AA is in my plan as well. I go about 2 times a month or so. Most AA folks go almost every day. I do SR everyday instead.
Stay clean.
Welcome. This place will save your life if you let it.
For some, me included, stopping was not as hard as staying happy, at least content, while stopped. I needed something to do instead of drink. Basically, hobbies that make me happy.
That is what I have learned in 15 months of sobriety.
The booze damaged my brain.s dopemine production. So, once the shine wore off of being sober....I felt very...melencoly, emotionless, sort of dead...inside.
When I was a drunk the constant state of getting drunk, being drunk, recovering, and repeat put me in a fantasy party world. When I had a physical break down a few times in a couple of days...it scared me into quitting.
At 80 days clean...my mind was a wreck...I thought I was going insane...I googled it...and found SR.
Now I feel so good. Not perfect but, 1000x better.
SR saved me.
AA is in my plan as well. I go about 2 times a month or so. Most AA folks go almost every day. I do SR everyday instead.
Stay clean.
Community Greeter
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Upstate New York
Posts: 51,526
It's great to have you join us. I joined the same year. Something about this place kept pulling me back. I knew the people here understood - like no one else can. It means so much to be able to talk things over & share ideas. Congratulations on your 10 sober days - your life's about to get so much better.
I joined the same year. Something about this place kept pulling me back. I knew the people here understood - like no one else can. It means so much to be able to talk things over & share ideas. Congratulations on your 10 sober days - your life's about to get so much better.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2007
Posts: 2
Thanks for the lovely warm welcome. This is a very busy board, I wasn't expecting so many replies!
AdelineRose -- of course, you're right about apologies not meaning very much. This particular friend -- I figured since she'd not seen the worst of my drinking that maybe saying sorry could put it right. I suppose "bad drinking" is a matter of degree to me -- it doesn't matter to her that it wasn't the worst, just that it was bad enough. I didn't hear back from her, but maybe one day we'll patch things up.
Thanks Berrybean. I ahve the Big Book and Living Sober, and though I've read Living Sober once and read the first part of the Big Book (working my way through the stories) I know they're not meant to be read and then forgotten. I reckon from your username and info that I know you in real life, so I'll try not to repeat myself too much ha!
D122y, oh yeeeaaah, I know all about dopamine. I'm on antidepressants (SSRIs) at the moment but I swear serotonin is not my problem: dopamine is. Of course, I'm basing this on very unscientific knowledge of what recreational drugs I've enjoyed the most. It's always a bit of a relief to "meet" others like me who feel like absolute rubbish after about 3 months. It's easy to think "this should be getting better" but of course I have years and years of alcohol behind me.
I know things are about to get better, at least for a little while. Still waiting on that "I'm freeeeee" rush. The trick this time will be to use that motivation and energy to put stuff in place to avoid the 3 month nosedive.
Thanks again for the welcome. I'll head over to some other threads. I now have two alcohol-related forums on the go -- although the other one is just lovely, it doesn't have a 12 step section and that's what I'm going for this time. So it might take me a while to start posting regularly here, but I'll get there. I'll probably be mostly "listening" to start
AdelineRose -- of course, you're right about apologies not meaning very much. This particular friend -- I figured since she'd not seen the worst of my drinking that maybe saying sorry could put it right. I suppose "bad drinking" is a matter of degree to me -- it doesn't matter to her that it wasn't the worst, just that it was bad enough. I didn't hear back from her, but maybe one day we'll patch things up.
Thanks Berrybean. I ahve the Big Book and Living Sober, and though I've read Living Sober once and read the first part of the Big Book (working my way through the stories) I know they're not meant to be read and then forgotten. I reckon from your username and info that I know you in real life, so I'll try not to repeat myself too much ha!
D122y, oh yeeeaaah, I know all about dopamine. I'm on antidepressants (SSRIs) at the moment but I swear serotonin is not my problem: dopamine is. Of course, I'm basing this on very unscientific knowledge of what recreational drugs I've enjoyed the most. It's always a bit of a relief to "meet" others like me who feel like absolute rubbish after about 3 months. It's easy to think "this should be getting better" but of course I have years and years of alcohol behind me.
I know things are about to get better, at least for a little while. Still waiting on that "I'm freeeeee" rush. The trick this time will be to use that motivation and energy to put stuff in place to avoid the 3 month nosedive.
Thanks again for the welcome. I'll head over to some other threads. I now have two alcohol-related forums on the go -- although the other one is just lovely, it doesn't have a 12 step section and that's what I'm going for this time. So it might take me a while to start posting regularly here, but I'll get there. I'll probably be mostly "listening" to start
Member
Join Date: Apr 2014
Location: UK
Posts: 6,902
Aha. Stick with it my lovely xx
Here's the link for those speakers... 5500+ AA Speakers & Tapes - Organized & Mobile-Friendly!
Here's the link for those speakers... 5500+ AA Speakers & Tapes - Organized & Mobile-Friendly!
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