a bit scared and hopeful..
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2016
Posts: 2
a bit scared and hopeful..
Hello. I found my way here in the hope it will help me getting sober with the inspiration of others feeling the same way.
I am 44 year old and I think I have realized I am a bit of an alcoholic...I am not a drunk so to speak...I hate being drunk so I can't say that is my issue...it is more like a dullness that I prefer...but I drink every day without fail...almost a bottle of wine every night..no matter if it is a Monday or Friday night. I say to my self in the morning that I will stop drinking during the week..but then I get home from work and I sip on my wine. I been doing this for the last 10 years except when I was pregnant ( I got 2 kids)
I used to be a fit healthy person but I struggle to even go for a walk. I really feel I need to change my life. I hate this.
My dad is a sober alcoholic and my mother is an alcoholic with massive issues (they divorced 40 years ago) and she struggles to stay sober. She been to countless clinics for help. I can get so angry with her due to her drunkenness but now I feel like a hypocrite with me not being to not drink even for one night. I know though that she suffers from severe depression etc. I try to help and encourage her as much as I can. It is so sad though as she has start of alcohol dementia and she suffers from nerve pain due to alcoholism and struggles to walk properly.
Nobody have ever said anything to me about my drinking. My partner has such more healthy relationship to alcohol - even though when he drinks he is a binge drinker...
I feel I can't talk to anyone about it..I feel ashamed over this. I should be able to do this..but far out..I have failed to just to stop for one freaking night..pathetic. so...here I am ..would love some insight and support.
I would like to have a life where I rather go out for a picnic with my family instead of wanting to stay at home so I can have a wine. I would like a healthy body and mind.
What is the best way to actually DO it. Help.
Thanks for taking time to read.
I am 44 year old and I think I have realized I am a bit of an alcoholic...I am not a drunk so to speak...I hate being drunk so I can't say that is my issue...it is more like a dullness that I prefer...but I drink every day without fail...almost a bottle of wine every night..no matter if it is a Monday or Friday night. I say to my self in the morning that I will stop drinking during the week..but then I get home from work and I sip on my wine. I been doing this for the last 10 years except when I was pregnant ( I got 2 kids)
I used to be a fit healthy person but I struggle to even go for a walk. I really feel I need to change my life. I hate this.
My dad is a sober alcoholic and my mother is an alcoholic with massive issues (they divorced 40 years ago) and she struggles to stay sober. She been to countless clinics for help. I can get so angry with her due to her drunkenness but now I feel like a hypocrite with me not being to not drink even for one night. I know though that she suffers from severe depression etc. I try to help and encourage her as much as I can. It is so sad though as she has start of alcohol dementia and she suffers from nerve pain due to alcoholism and struggles to walk properly.
Nobody have ever said anything to me about my drinking. My partner has such more healthy relationship to alcohol - even though when he drinks he is a binge drinker...
I feel I can't talk to anyone about it..I feel ashamed over this. I should be able to do this..but far out..I have failed to just to stop for one freaking night..pathetic. so...here I am ..would love some insight and support.
I would like to have a life where I rather go out for a picnic with my family instead of wanting to stay at home so I can have a wine. I would like a healthy body and mind.
What is the best way to actually DO it. Help.
Thanks for taking time to read.
Do your best
Join Date: Aug 2014
Posts: 67,047
Welcome Sluman SR has a lot of excellent advice & links to build plans and stuff like reading ? check out SRs book list its helped me beyond measure
Get to know the mods who are excellent at what they do
Nice to meet you
Get to know the mods who are excellent at what they do
Nice to meet you
Member
Join Date: Jul 2016
Posts: 350
Welcome Smulan,
Wow, you just pretty much described the majority of adults that live in my city (no I'm not omniscient, but I see it most everywhere I turn). Our resident's relationship with booze is pretty 2-faced. "Ah yes, I drink, but only moderately." Right, I know you kick back a bottle of Merlot a night and your hubby has a few beers and a few scotches. We have a 'festival' for 'something' every other weekend. The different cliques (from high-earning to low) congregate in the streets and swill and eat until a less drunk friend get's them to a car. There aren't many fights, just smiley, sloppy, happy, complacent gov. or hospital workers (also bank and company CEOs). They all go back home and the party goes on.
I can see why you hesitate to confide in anyone. One DOES NOT do that here. If I don't have a problem, You don't have a problem. We will both pretend we don't and everything will be fine (i.e. I won't tell your family on you, and you won't tell my boss). Sick, eh?
OK, so you've said what YOU want. Now that's a plan. Good on you! And you know that quitting will get you there. Not tomorrow, not overnight. It won't be easy, but you can make it happen. Is your mother living in a supported community? On her own? You are a wonderful daughter for staying close even though it upsets you. As others have told me, you need to focus on your recovery first. Doesn't mean you have to abandon your responsibilities. Maybe tap into the Smulan within, where all this confusions lies. That life out there, where you want to go.....I think it's real, possible, and waiting for you. Don't know where you live, but maybe pack a hamper tonight - NO alcohol - get up in the morning and go for that picnic. Just put on your shoes and GO
Go ahead; do something bold. I had to get "scared straight." Maybe you could be "blissfully overjoyed straight."
Wow, you just pretty much described the majority of adults that live in my city (no I'm not omniscient, but I see it most everywhere I turn). Our resident's relationship with booze is pretty 2-faced. "Ah yes, I drink, but only moderately." Right, I know you kick back a bottle of Merlot a night and your hubby has a few beers and a few scotches. We have a 'festival' for 'something' every other weekend. The different cliques (from high-earning to low) congregate in the streets and swill and eat until a less drunk friend get's them to a car. There aren't many fights, just smiley, sloppy, happy, complacent gov. or hospital workers (also bank and company CEOs). They all go back home and the party goes on.
I can see why you hesitate to confide in anyone. One DOES NOT do that here. If I don't have a problem, You don't have a problem. We will both pretend we don't and everything will be fine (i.e. I won't tell your family on you, and you won't tell my boss). Sick, eh?
OK, so you've said what YOU want. Now that's a plan. Good on you! And you know that quitting will get you there. Not tomorrow, not overnight. It won't be easy, but you can make it happen. Is your mother living in a supported community? On her own? You are a wonderful daughter for staying close even though it upsets you. As others have told me, you need to focus on your recovery first. Doesn't mean you have to abandon your responsibilities. Maybe tap into the Smulan within, where all this confusions lies. That life out there, where you want to go.....I think it's real, possible, and waiting for you. Don't know where you live, but maybe pack a hamper tonight - NO alcohol - get up in the morning and go for that picnic. Just put on your shoes and GO
Go ahead; do something bold. I had to get "scared straight." Maybe you could be "blissfully overjoyed straight."
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,504
Welcome, Smulan,
You are not weak and pathetic. Alcoholism is not a character defect. I would also add that being a bit of an alcoholic is like being a bit pregnant. But, it's just a word and, I don't let it define me.
Have faith that you can do this. You can be the person you want to be. This is a link that is full of ideas we have gathered as to how we stopped drinking:
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...at-we-did.html
You are not weak and pathetic. Alcoholism is not a character defect. I would also add that being a bit of an alcoholic is like being a bit pregnant.
But, it's just a word and, I don't let it define me. Have faith that you can do this. You can be the person you want to be. This is a link that is full of ideas we have gathered as to how we stopped drinking:
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...at-we-did.html
Community Greeter
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Upstate New York
Posts: 51,564
We're happy to have you with us, Smulan. I'm sorry your mom has struggled so. With your family history, you're wise to be concerned. You can achieve the healthy body and mind you're wishing for. Please don't be ashamed - you're in good company - & we all understand.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,439
Hi and welcome Smulan
Read around and post as much as you like- see what other people are doing...find a way that makes sense to you whether it's SR, seeing a Dr or a counsellor, AA or some other group, or a mix of those and other things
D
Read around and post as much as you like- see what other people are doing...find a way that makes sense to you whether it's SR, seeing a Dr or a counsellor, AA or some other group, or a mix of those and other things
D
Hillbilly Girl
Join Date: Dec 2013
Location: In my Garden
Posts: 3,953
So glad you are here Smulan so much support & encouragement here. Reaching out for help to quit drinking is the best decision you could make! Be kind to yourself & know you are not alone in this.
so much support & encouragement here. Reaching out for help to quit drinking is the best decision you could make! Be kind to yourself & know you are not alone in this.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: California
Posts: 13,040
Welcome Smulan!! Wine was my downfall as well, I easily finished a bottle a night, and would make the same promises each morning that you find yourself doing. With the support of SR, especially the January class I am just over seven months sober. I am so incredibly grateful for this community. Spend some time reading and posting, also, join the August class, you will find others who have also decided to stop drinking during this month. Having people at the same point of your sobriety journey is very helpful.
You can do this!!
❤️ Delilah
You can do this!!
❤️ Delilah
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