GAHaley

I am looking for advice from people that got sober without using AA. I have used AA, worked the steps, read the BB, went to rehab...I am in a much better place since rehab (drinking smaller amounts...a pint 2 or 3 days a week vs. all day 7 days)...I still can't stop though...to those that quit cold turkey or didn't use AA...what did you do??

Dee74

There's many different approaches and methods of recovery around - here's some links to some of the main players, including but not limited to AA:

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...formation.html

I recommend you visit the Secular Connections forum if you think you may benefit from a non 12 step approach.

The main thing is tho - whatever method you choose to use - it's got to be behind a sincere desire to do anything but drink..

what do you think is keeping you drinking GAHaley?

D

dwtbd

Three years ago I came to SR and learned about Rational Recovery and their AVRT. There are great threads on those topics in the Secular Connections forum here on SR. It really resonated with me, check it out and see what you think.
Wish you well and hope to see you around

AdelineRose

I am a recovering heroin addict, I have almost a year of recovery and I do not use AA or NA.

My first step was finding a substance abuse counselor, a psychiatrist that specializes in addiction, and a doctor that specializes in addiction. I got a full psych exam and found out I have bipolar type 2 disorder, treatment resistant depression, and anxiety. Getting on the proper medications allowed me to finally truly have a chance at creating a solid and strong recovery. You need to be in the best mental space as possible to get in recovery- I never thought I had any co-existing disorders- but can it hurt to get an exam and find out? It could save your life...

I then checked in with my doctor once a month, went to counseling first a couple times a week, then once a week, then every other week, and now I check in once a month. That is the minimum, if I feel like I need more I go more.

I also changed EVERYTHING in my life. I deleted facebook, I changed my phone number, I stopped going to the same places where I could run into someone, I COMPLETELY disconnected with anyone and anything that I knew or did while using. Yes that left me with NO friends- but they weren't friends anyway.

I then rallied my family around me told EVERYONE the full truth and with that I got the stronger support system I could ever imagine. They have been my rock and have truly always been there- a call, a day out, just having company that can understand and be there for me.

I also found keeping a daily journal, changing my diet, working out, doing meditation, volunteering, doing yoga, and just getting myself as mentally and physically healthy as I could. I made sure I showered and got ready reach day- that seemed to really help me move forward also and be more positive about myself.

If you want to get sober, you will find a way that works for you. You do not have to follow any one recovery plan, you can create your own- all that matters is that you do what needs to be done for YOU and what it takes for YOU to get sober.

ScottFromWI

I've used a combination of SR, counseling, and a lot of reading. I did go to AA meetings in the past and still read the big book often too.

Any program can work if you put enough effort into it, check out some of the resources on the link Dee sent.

GAHaley

AdelineRose...Thank you!! Great advice!

keeppushing

Dee is right, the Secular Recovery forum has good stuff.

I didn't use AA. I used a combination of SMART, CBT (cognitive behavioural therapy) and REBT (rational emotive behavioural therapy). And, of course, SR Forums . I'm on day 33 abstinent, so take it for what its worth. All three approaches seem very similar to me. I did need to reach your point of several nights clear headed to be able to put something together.

For me personally one of the main issues was to get over how to manage my emotions in a healthy manner.

Hope that helps.

KP

fripfrop

Hi
Ive been sober a very short length of time (a month). I use Smart, I like it because it not only helps with the not drinking part, but with building self-esteem, stress management, frustation tolerance, motivation maintenace, and a host of other things, that make it nicer to be in your own head when you have stopped drinking.

PrinzessinD

I read the book on rational recovery, it was a good read

trachemys

Also, look into Buddhist based recovery. There are a few meditation based methods out there.

JamesfrmEngland

Come to the realisation over time that you have had enough, want to take a new path, and the negatives of drinking far outweigh the positives. Be brutal dump friends or family who may influence your drinking.

noneever

I am very, very early on in my sobriety but what is helping me so far is getting plenty of sleep, eating frequently (hunger is a huge trigger for me), yoga (cannot recommend this highly enough), breathing and body scan exercises and reading books on mindfulness and buddhist based recovery. I think adding journalling will help too. I'm also seeing a psychologist fortnightly to address my long standing depression and anxiety.

chrcarlson

I used the legal system to quit. It's expensive and stressful but it does work when all else fails.

freshstart57

Most of us. about 75% according to the NIAA, get sober without a formal recovery program. So please understand that this means that there are many many effective ways of achieving a permanent and happy sobriety. It is up to you to make that big decision about future alcohol use, and then to explore and learn about what is available and to learn about yourself too.

Decide that you deserve this life without addiction and all the misery that entails, and then go get it. But make that last drink your last drink.

For me, my story is in the Secular Connections forum, AVRT Explained. It might be helpful to you. You can do this thing, GAHaley. Onward!

August252015

I wrote a long response just to get kicked out of SR I will try copying in case I need to paste, this time.

I am working a very hard AA recovery program and will be at 6mo soon. My boyfriend, however, is not going to AA meetings or "officially" following the steps. We do discuss the steps and traditions (ex: I just did step 4 and completed my resentment/fear/harm to others/sex conduct inventories; we discussed how resentments and harm to others (guilt) connect to our alcoholism; I share things like a 7th Tradition meeting about AA's financial and cultural independence, tying it back to my (our) own financial and emotional independence from others (my parents, his ex-wife) control).

IMO, whatever you call yourself or official program you follow (and I ABSOLUTELY recommend following a program- winging it or white-knuckling it is not a plan).

That said, he does/goes to:
-Counseling. Once a week. Not specifically focused on his drinking but it is discussed; it is part of his living a better life, being a better him, focus.
-Exercise, etc- better self-care. Work from the inside out, including physically. Better for him, better example for his kids. Side benefits of a little weight loss, better sleep, etc. See also, info on PAWS - the process of getting sober and living in recovery including physical and emotional changes - https://digital-dharma.net/post-acut...r-immediately/ Also, a Sober tracker (I use SoberTime- the days can be customized and th financial tracker is amazing to show you what you spent on alcohol and aren't spending now!) The Best Alcoholism Apps of the Year (there are plenty for iphone too)
-Daily devotions and meditations. We are both Christians and share things like Richard Rohr's meditations (These are great for anyone with a spiritual life - which I believe is crucial- and have a LOT of recovery tones and applications - see twitter @CACRadicalGrace or check out the daily/weekly/monthly emails here - https://cac.org/sign-up/ . Also, see sessions from Andy Stanley like this one on de-cluttering your life emotionally, financially, all ways - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GxjIdMCPbZk
- Study on behavioral things, secular, AA-related, or not - how to live his best life - ex: AA's Step 10 Throughout My Day | Hazelden Betty Ford Foundation
Also, books: The Untethered Soul is one we have both read. Michael Singer writes about our internal voice, finding inner peace and freedom.

Whatever you call yourself, or participate in AA, you can CHOOSE sobriety. IMO, and in both of our experiences, simply "wanting" might get you sober, but won't keep you there and won't take you to a place of emotional sobriety, which is a much better place to live than an alcoholic life.

You don't have to drink anymore. You have to decide if that is right for you. You don't have to get or stay sober alone.

Good luck!

August252015

Also- see this, which someone posted on another thread - The Opposite of Addiction is Connection

A good piece on the brain, and connections.

bunnezjp

2 1/4 years Sober. No AA. Started with 4 months IOP and AA but dropped AA after 5 months. I come here, read (I love memoirs of addiction), train often, LIVE. I have a very loving and supportive family.

I've also recently become a sponsor to someone who is in AA. it's nice to give back.

~Bunnez