sadsadgirl

Hi there, it's been a while since I've been on here, I was doing so well and then received some bad news in work about the future of my job and hit the bottle big time. My head's all over the show, I can't think straight. I need to work over the weekend but can't stop thinking how stupid I was to pick up again, I'm panicking this is the start of losing everything I've worked hard to claw back over the last few months. Just reading posts on here has reminded me I'm not alone and what an awful soul destroying illness this is. But I'm scared. I feel dirty.

Lightning Bug

Feel proud that you picked yourself up and made it to day 2 instead of stretching day 1 out in a bender. You stopped. That is a great thing! Now do it again.

Belier

Yes I agree with earthsteps, you caught it and stopped. I wish I had done that when I was a year sober and then had a couple that lasted for a few years. You are doing well, don't be too hard on yourself. You know what to do. Sending you hugs.

StayStrong33

Hey SSG, glad you're back. Have you reconnected with AA yet? I was reading some of your older posts and wonder if maybe rehab would be helpful? I have some friends who did an outpatient women's treatment and were so glad they did.

You absolutely aren't alone! We've all been there and guess what? You really never have to feel this way ever again.

RDBplus3

1. Admitted we were powerless over alcohol ... and ...
- that our lives had become unmanageable ...
+ Well? I thought over and over and over ... that I could still manage it all and still 'control' my drinking and ...

2. Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to Sanity !!!
+ I listened to enough people in AA meetings (not ALL the people in AA - LOL), and on Recovery Speaker messages, that I KNEW there were lots of people that had been as bad off as me from listening to them, and I KNEW that thru WORKING the Program their lives had been transformed in a way that made them so dedicated to their New Life in Sobriety, that I DID Believe the Power that worked thru the Program could restore me, EVEN ME ... to the Sanity they now had.

3. Made a Decision to turn our lives over to the care of God ... as we understood Him ...
+ Or better stated for Me - God as I 'did NOT understand Him'. After long periods of gut-wrenching, face-in-the-pavement struggling and repeated failed attempts to 'control' everything (just trying to keep it all together) I made the decision to actually WORK the 12 Steps of AA, and let this Higher Power / God I did NOT understand, reveal himself and work thru me as I would Work the Program - relying only on the FACT that I KNEW of enough people that had renewed lives thru this Higher Power / God they said worked thru the Program.

4. thru 12. ...
+ I had to Work it to find what I would have NEVER Believed before actually DOING THE WORK.

RDBplus3 ... Happy, Joyous and FREE ... and I KNOW U can B 2

Delilah1

Welcome back!

PurpleKnight

Welcome back!!

Draw a line in the sand and say no more, don't let things spiral into something much worse.

You can do this and you're definitly not alone!!

Dee74

Welcome back

Have you thought about what you might do differently this time sadsadgirl?

D

sadsadgirl

Thanks for the support guys. I believe that I need a bit more in my life-get back into playing sports. All I've been doing is getting up, going to work, coming back home again. I've had lots of mixed up thinking-unable to get organised in work and so been throwing longer hours at the problem hoping it'll solve it. It hasn't-I just end up more tired and more frustrated. I really struggle with organisation though. Any tips?

PrinzessinD

At least you realized that you messed up and it wasn't the right route to take. Next time you are faced with a situation like this you can look back and remember that alcohol made you feel dirty and you regretted it and do something else. I think about vodka and it sounds so gross.

lovehoops

Welcome sadsadgirl.
,just coming back myself.
Looking forward to connecting with you