watching and learning
 

I did it again.
At this point, I want and need to understand my problem.
Dinner drinks into my weakness.
I once again blew through 10-15 + drinks with friends. Addiction is my problem. I am pissed that I am at the point where "I" actually struggle to get through 7 days now.
I have to sober up and once again walk the line.
Please encourage me to talk with each of you.
Back to my short term goals!

I had 1000 day ones . You need to find whats going to work for you if ur friends are going out drinking just dont go if your serious about stopping. Dont risk it if ur not going to be happy after what you do.
What helps me is sticking to this website everyday always checking in on my free time . Once I stop coming to this site I know im going to drink again . And it happened for 3 years on and off..

Quick update.
My father - provided me with his brother's number who is in recovery.
Told him that that I would call " Steve" during the next few days.
Really need to get this under control.
Apologize to each of you, but I need a place to post.

Dark,

We are drug addicts.

Alcoholic is a vague term to me.

Booze is not a super natural force.

It is a drug.

Put it this way...if you got arrested for drunk driving and they put you in jail for 30 days. You would make it 30 days.

Staying sober is 99% mental. Until you have a reason...e.g. jail,,out of money, super sick, losing your kids...it is harder to quit. I got sick.

So....It is the reptile mind versus the analytical mind. That is why we say roll the tape.

Imo....It takes about 30 days to get through a full detox...then the brain damage shows through.

That is when the struggle goes into overdrive. That is why we relapse after many years clean.

Get clean. Stay clean.

Thanks for reading my post.
I am going to win this problem.
Spoke with my father earlier who is 73, he encouraged me to seek support.
I can't believe I broke my personal promise.

No need to apologise for posting darkstarpa :)

I think my problem was not so much addiction - I was very well aware of my addiction - but I was not committed to making changes.

Change terrified me.

If there's one thing I could pass on it's to ignore that fear. It's groundless.

Things may change, but you won't lose anything of value...and you'll gain things you never dreamed of.

D

Good feedback all around.

The unfixable problem is that we can't just have one, and using makes our lives unmanageable. Likewise, despite knowing this, we feel the urge to get loaded. There's not much to understand, and understanding it with no action doesn't net you anything.

The fixable problem is that at one point we aren't willing to stop using and we aren't willing to engage in the process of recovery, both of which are big changes.

The fixable problem is the place to focus. Stop using one day at a time, and get help. In Na I learned to do whatever it took, even the things I didn't want to. (and which frankly sounded stupid). - Oddly enough this worked.

I tell my wife and family that I am slowing drinking lower volumes. It's hard for me. I know that some people don't wan't to hear my truth. Hopefully I can join the team with long term sobriety, I need to get through short goals/

The short term goal is to stop using for one day.

We have a name for moderation in NA. It's called using. They call moderation drinking in AA. Notice how neither of us call it "progress".

Short goals is a good place to start. All of us with lomng term sobriety started with one day. At first it may even have been one hour, but we hung on. The next thing was to get started on a program of recovery, becaue just hanging on one day at a time was not sustainable in the long term.

In recovery we discover that we can only live one day (today) at a time, and it is what we do today that will determine what our tomorrows will be like.

So a short goal, like don't drink just for today is a good place to strt, provided that we also reach out for help.

I don't mind hearing your truth if you don't mind hearing mine :)


Trying to cut down or taper back was torture for me.

Trying to control something I'd repeatedly showed I couldn't control was like herding cats or rounding up smoke.

The best way I discovered was to rip the band aid right off..short term pain but then the healing begins.

You can't get well while you're still taking the same poison thats making you sick.

Change is imperative. There's really no way around that I'm afraid.

I'm not trying to frustrate, irritate, or scare you.
I was in your shoes once.

I had no idea how I might live without drinking.

I also didn't really want to change my life and have my problem with alcohol 'out there' in public knowledge (It was anyway - but that's another thread topic)

I knew I could go a day without drinking, so I committed to that - and then backed up that commitment the next day, and the next...soon I had a string of days behind me and forever no longer seemed so scary :)

I've never regretted my decision. I really believe you won't either :)

D

thanks Dee.

Everyone has a different story and progress.
I am an addict, not drugs, but alcohol.
I know that I will never be normal.
Hopefully I can live a life with out hurting family/friends/

I've come to see it's perfectly normal to be a non drinker darkstar. I really hope you will too.

Not drinking allows me to be the best person I can be :)

D

getting ready to call it a night. will talk with my my wife in the morning.
I am disappointed in myself. I am a smart guy and make decent money. don't want to kill my future.
My father is an alcoholic, stopped drinking at age 52. His brother was an IV drug user and alcoholic. Sober for for 25+ years.
My father's mother died of cirrhosis of liver(quiet stuff) she was estranged for years due alcohol.
I need to get my problem under control.

darkstar

yeah...I think I used my intelligence against myself for a long time - I wanted to find a way to keep drinking but not suffer any of the bad stuff that came with it.

Sounds to me like you're near a turning point darkstar :)

D

Dee. Thanks for posting in my thread!
I need to take ownership of my life. I ask myself hard questions and listen to people that I know support me. I believe in the "one human family".
I recently joined this board and intend to reach my goal of long term sobriety.

Sobriety is possible and better than you can imagine. I agree with others that tapering and lowing your intake should not be your goals right now, but rather racking up some sober time. If one day seems tough to handle, break it up into time frames: I won't have drinks at lunch today. I won't drink before dinner today. I won't drink at dinner today. etc.
You can do this. I was one of the ones who thought is was impossible, absolutely impossible to quit but turns out I did it and so can you.

I believe you can do it darkstarpa :)
D

There are only 24 hours in the day, with many of those hours spent working and sleeping. Think about just getting those remaining hours. Don't think about days, just think of today. You can do it!