LadyBlue0527

MI, you always come up with quips that I look at and my mind says "YES, that's IT!". You uncovered a lie I used to tell myself whenever I said I wanted to be able to drink like everyone else. Honesty with one's self is key and truer words could not be spoken than what you stated.

Thank you.

LadyBlue0527

My Freudian slip for the day! (Save)

MLD51

This sums it up for me. Much easier to just not drink. The trying and failing to moderate (for years) got to be really stressful. I don't like to fail (who does). And the negative consequences from drinking were really piling up. So for me, the answer was to quit. And since I don't like failure, I am determined not to fail at sobriety.

Soberwolf

Hi Catman

Maudcat

After trying and failing to control my drinking for a number of years, I just found it easier to stop. After a period of time when I felt emotionally fragile and weepy--about two weeks, post drinking--I began to heal and feel better. I have relapsed, but not for long, and I always got back on the non-drinking train. I just have today. Today I won't drink.

Delizadee

I can control my drinking just fine. It just consumes my thoughts all day long from the moment i wake up until i fall asleep and planning life around it and makes me sleepy, weepy, sneezy, dopey, poopy, grumpy, achey, clumsy, puffy.
But yes. I can control my drinking just fine and stop at anytime I want.

FarToGo

Not possible for me either. Sober is so much better. As others have said controlling was exhausting and the failure after failure so bad for my self respect. Just try the sober life, your self esteem will rise and you'll have so much more time and energy for productive things.
Good luck.
xx

HeadingtoChange

For me controlled drinking is like going back to crawling like a baby but as an adult, sure I can crawl on my hands and knees for a while but either instantly or over a short time I'm gonna think f*** this I can walk I'm a big boy now!

Irnldy001

For me, trying to control my drinking is like trying to control an angry toddler having a tantrum in the grocery store. Not gonna happen.

I think you've heard from the crowd. What you are hearing is that past a line in the sand, ain't no such thing as 'controlling' or moderating. We are here because we aren't moderate. I don't think a one of us would have advice on how to be a good moderate drinker because we haven't an iota of a clue. That boat sailed away a long time ago.

But if you ask me what a moderate drinker is in my head it looks like this: The person can go weeks or even months and not think nor care about drinking. When alcohol is served, they can have one, think nothing of it and walk away. Then they don't drink again. Because as another poster put it on a thread a little while ago "normal people don't drink that much!". Now that I'm sober, it amazes me how many friends homes we go to for dinner where they didn't even think of setting out a bottle of wine. I look at other diners in restaurants and realize how few are drinking, and those that do seem to nurse a beer for HOURS. This is not how we SR people drink. And here's the sad rub = many of us likely were moderate at some point - I know I was for the first 35 years. Then one day the switch flicked, and I was gone. There is no unflicking the switch for me.
I quit a few times and had some sober time under my belt when I decided I "had this" and could drink responsible. Here's how it went: I drank once or twice in a moderate way, felt proud of myself. By the third or fourth time I drank to blackout point. This time feels like for good and I am still saying good riddance. I have about 18 months give or take under my belt. I have no real sober time regrets. Can't say the same for drunk time.

butcher70

All of my relapses except one (and unfortunately there were allot of relapses...) Started with the idea of tonight I'm only going to drink a six pack or twelve or whatever. Failed every single time. One sip of beer is too much for me.

Delizadee

One is too much and a thousand is never enough.
Normal drinkers don't wonder how to control their drinking. By the point you are asking that question, the only way to control it is to not drink.

JamesfrmEngland

Prbably I think in Stanton Peele's book he describes that 25% of alcoholics return to long-term low level drinking

fripfrop

I read that James. I saw my father do it. But try as I might I couldn't..it was such a bummer to realise this haha

Dee74

Sadly James I've seen people die, here on this very board, trying to return to 'long term low level drinking'

D

MLD51

I know people who have done it successfully, and others who haven't and died or nearly died. I'm not willing to ever take the chance.

EndGameNYC

I've never met anyone without a serious drinking problem who attempted to control his drinking.

Catman2016

Thanks everyone

Jim1958

My problem is my drinking was to get high. It was not social drinking. I always went overboard. Like so many others, the only path was to not take the first one.

lovetolisten

I really like this idea, and it was a thing that made me realize the moderation ship had sailed. A person who is not an alcoholic, not obsessed with/dependent on drinking can do this. Not me. I'd find a good excuse on Day 2

MacW

I think ultimately it depends upon the individuals drinking patterns. And the underlying reasons they drink.

Personally, being a binge drinker who drinks moderately most days, interspersed with a binge every few days, I know I could never go back to only moderate drinking. As it's all too easy for me to say just one more. That's how I end up on a binge in the first place.