Given Up Trying to Give up
Senior Member
Join Date: Jun 2016
Location: Inglind
Posts: 610
Originally Posted by sweetichick 
Hey Fripfrop, There is one Smart recovery meeting in my city on Fridays. I'll try it this week. I've been reading your thread and found it really interesting. It seems like you've had similar health problems to me.
Yeah, about the health, I wouldn't last another year drinking I don't think
Talk about hopeless case, you should have seen the state I was in this time last month with the drink.
But no one is hopeless, not even you!
All you need is the belief that you CAN stop. Anyone can stop. Then the working through HOW to stay stopped. You can do it!
All you need is a tiny spark of motivation and belief that you can feed and grow into a full fire storm of motivation and belief
A Smart Bug is a Sober Bug!
Join Date: Jul 2013
Location: Hot and Muggy South Florida
Posts: 1,396
Placing blame on people, places and things for your drinking is not going to help you get sober. Choosing to drink instead of dealing with a problem will only make it worse. Be proactive and deal with the problem so the excuse to drink is removed.
Giving up is NOT an option.
Join Date: Jan 2015
Location: Western Wisconsin
Posts: 7,808
Originally Posted by sweetichick
Hey Tomsteve, I worked on steps 1 to 3 and step 4 was like unleashing a volcano. So I left it at step 4. Maybe I just need a good sponsor. I'm willing to try anything.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: northern michigan. not the U.P.
Posts: 15,281
Originally Posted by sweetichick
Hey Tomsteve, I worked on steps 1 to 3 and step 4 was like unleashing a volcano. So I left it at step 4. Maybe I just need a good sponsor. I'm willing to try anything.
i heard many people saying they got to step 4 and drank and i didnt understand it as i was crankin on mine.
asked an oldtimer after a meeting why these people were getting drunk at the 4th and i was cranking. a very simple reply from him:
"you did the first 3 steps."
Member
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: northern michigan. not the U.P.
Posts: 15,281
F**K
Everything
And
Run
or
Face
Everything
And
Recover
theres absolutely no way i would have gotten rid of the demons and skeletons if i didnt face them head on. theyd STILL haunt me even if i wasnt drinking.
today them denoms and skeletons are my greatest posession. i can talk about them openly, know the causes andconditions of them, and can possibly help another by sharing them and what i did to no longer be haunted by my past.
Everything
And
Run
or
Face
Everything
And
Recover
theres absolutely no way i would have gotten rid of the demons and skeletons if i didnt face them head on. theyd STILL haunt me even if i wasnt drinking.
today them denoms and skeletons are my greatest posession. i can talk about them openly, know the causes andconditions of them, and can possibly help another by sharing them and what i did to no longer be haunted by my past.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,439
Sorry I missed this thread sweetichick
everytime I went back to drink and wanted to stop I became that little bit more open to change....eventually I reached the right level of change, and found the right level of support to keep there.
You;'re here - so you must want change too...and you have sober days so you already know how to get sober...now you just need to work on part 2,,,the staying there.
I believe you can do this - there's already been some great suggestions and advice here - try everything you can
everytime I went back to drink and wanted to stop I became that little bit more open to change....eventually I reached the right level of change, and found the right level of support to keep there.
You;'re here - so you must want change too...and you have sober days so you already know how to get sober...now you just need to work on part 2,,,the staying there.
I believe you can do this - there's already been some great suggestions and advice here - try everything you can
Member
Join Date: Jul 2016
Posts: 350
SweetiChick Honey,
Right now you are in the middle of it all - sorta under attack by all of your fears, past traumas, expectation of More trauma. It can be paralyzing. We tried to function under the influence but (for me) the results were usually bad (or really bad) and I was too out of it to make things better. It seems nearly impossible to even TRY to imagine a 'better day,' a time when we can deal with the world on it's terms without losing our fragile grip on.....reality? Pretty much we can't KNOW anything. But WE WANT to! Lately, when I lose it, I say "there IS a way. May not find it tomorrow. Maybe I'll have to find another way." I wish I could help more. I feel like such a child. Maybe it's my child that tells me if I don't drink I will heal, and then my brain will start to see more options, more strategies for living in this world. I'm not SUPER hopeful yet, but I'm still willing to see what happens next.
Know that life wants to happen - Your life. Maybe let your 'gut' guide you. Unlike your brain, your gut has not yet learned to doubt itself. Be well.
Right now you are in the middle of it all - sorta under attack by all of your fears, past traumas, expectation of More trauma. It can be paralyzing. We tried to function under the influence but (for me) the results were usually bad (or really bad) and I was too out of it to make things better. It seems nearly impossible to even TRY to imagine a 'better day,' a time when we can deal with the world on it's terms without losing our fragile grip on.....reality? Pretty much we can't KNOW anything. But WE WANT to! Lately, when I lose it, I say "there IS a way. May not find it tomorrow. Maybe I'll have to find another way." I wish I could help more. I feel like such a child. Maybe it's my child that tells me if I don't drink I will heal, and then my brain will start to see more options, more strategies for living in this world. I'm not SUPER hopeful yet, but I'm still willing to see what happens next.
Know that life wants to happen - Your life. Maybe let your 'gut' guide you. Unlike your brain, your gut has not yet learned to doubt itself. Be well.
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,504
Originally Posted by sweetichick
Hey Macw, I feel like I'm overwhelmed by skeletons dropping out at me. I must admit even when drinking they still bother me. What's the solution? Punch them out one by one. My mother's good at reminding me of them when I just want to leave it in the past.
It's important to put yourself first at this point so that your recovery is a priority and you are always choosing to do what is best for yourself.
Guest
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2016
Location: Australia
Posts: 1,802
Originally Posted by tomsteve
F**K
Everything
And
Run
or
Face
Everything
And
Recover
theres absolutely no way i would have gotten rid of the demons and skeletons if i didnt face them head on. theyd STILL haunt me even if i wasnt drinking.
today them denoms and skeletons are my greatest posession. i can talk about them openly, know the causes andconditions of them, and can possibly help another by sharing them and what i did to no longer be haunted by my past.
Everything
And
Run
or
Face
Everything
And
Recover
theres absolutely no way i would have gotten rid of the demons and skeletons if i didnt face them head on. theyd STILL haunt me even if i wasnt drinking.
today them denoms and skeletons are my greatest posession. i can talk about them openly, know the causes andconditions of them, and can possibly help another by sharing them and what i did to no longer be haunted by my past.
Guest
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2016
Location: Australia
Posts: 1,802
Originally Posted by fripfrop
sweetichick, you should go! What have you got to lose by trying everything you can lay your hands on?
Yeah, about the health, I wouldn't last another year drinking I don't think
Talk about hopeless case, you should have seen the state I was in this time last month with the drink.
But no one is hopeless, not even you!
All you need is the belief that you CAN stop. Anyone can stop. Then the working through HOW to stay stopped. You can do it!
All you need is a tiny spark of motivation and belief that you can feed and grow into a full fire storm of motivation and belief
Yeah, about the health, I wouldn't last another year drinking I don't think
Talk about hopeless case, you should have seen the state I was in this time last month with the drink.
But no one is hopeless, not even you!
All you need is the belief that you CAN stop. Anyone can stop. Then the working through HOW to stay stopped. You can do it!
All you need is a tiny spark of motivation and belief that you can feed and grow into a full fire storm of motivation and belief
Guest
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2016
Location: Australia
Posts: 1,802
Originally Posted by earthsteps
Placing blame on people, places and things for your drinking is not going to help you get sober. Choosing to drink instead of dealing with a problem will only make it worse. Be proactive and deal with the problem so the excuse to drink is removed.
I do tend to blame people, places and things. I need to get away from the mentality of not dealing with problems before they get so bad that they become overwhelming.
Guest
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2016
Location: Australia
Posts: 1,802
Originally Posted by MLD51
A lot of people stop at step 4. It's painful, it's hard. Get a good sponsor who can help you get through it. And remember - you don't have to do a perfect step 4 the first time. You can always do another one later, in fact, I recommend it. Several, if need be. They get easier every time. Once you have some sober time and start to deal with some of the issues you uncovered in your first step 4, other things will come up that you'll want to deal with. But knowing you can get through it, and that the world won't come to an end, will give you courage to continue on to the other steps. YOU CAN DO IT!!!
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Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2016
Location: Australia
Posts: 1,802
Originally Posted by Dee74
Sorry I missed this thread sweetichick
everytime I went back to drink and wanted to stop I became that little bit more open to change....eventually I reached the right level of change, and found the right level of support to keep there.
You;'re here - so you must want change too...and you have sober days so you already know how to get sober...now you just need to work on part 2,,,the staying there.
I believe you can do this - there's already been some great suggestions and advice here - try everything you can
everytime I went back to drink and wanted to stop I became that little bit more open to change....eventually I reached the right level of change, and found the right level of support to keep there.
You;'re here - so you must want change too...and you have sober days so you already know how to get sober...now you just need to work on part 2,,,the staying there.
I believe you can do this - there's already been some great suggestions and advice here - try everything you can
Guest
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2016
Location: Australia
Posts: 1,802
Originally Posted by Dame
SweetiChick Honey,
Right now you are in the middle of it all - sorta under attack by all of your fears, past traumas, expectation of More trauma. It can be paralyzing. We tried to function under the influence but (for me) the results were usually bad (or really bad) and I was too out of it to make things better. It seems nearly impossible to even TRY to imagine a 'better day,' a time when we can deal with the world on it's terms without losing our fragile grip on.....reality? Pretty much we can't KNOW anything. But WE WANT to! Lately, when I lose it, I say "there IS a way. May not find it tomorrow. Maybe I'll have to find another way." I wish I could help more. I feel like such a child. Maybe it's my child that tells me if I don't drink I will heal, and then my brain will start to see more options, more strategies for living in this world. I'm not SUPER hopeful yet, but I'm still willing to see what happens next.
Know that life wants to happen - Your life. Maybe let your 'gut' guide you. Unlike your brain, your gut has not yet learned to doubt itself. Be well.
Right now you are in the middle of it all - sorta under attack by all of your fears, past traumas, expectation of More trauma. It can be paralyzing. We tried to function under the influence but (for me) the results were usually bad (or really bad) and I was too out of it to make things better. It seems nearly impossible to even TRY to imagine a 'better day,' a time when we can deal with the world on it's terms without losing our fragile grip on.....reality? Pretty much we can't KNOW anything. But WE WANT to! Lately, when I lose it, I say "there IS a way. May not find it tomorrow. Maybe I'll have to find another way." I wish I could help more. I feel like such a child. Maybe it's my child that tells me if I don't drink I will heal, and then my brain will start to see more options, more strategies for living in this world. I'm not SUPER hopeful yet, but I'm still willing to see what happens next.
Know that life wants to happen - Your life. Maybe let your 'gut' guide you. Unlike your brain, your gut has not yet learned to doubt itself. Be well.
Guest
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2016
Location: Australia
Posts: 1,802
Originally Posted by Anna
Sometimes we have to take a hard stand when people are purposely harming you. I kept minimal contact with my mother when I stopped drinking because she was so harmful to me. The last thing I needed was to be reminded of my mistakes and short-comings.
It's important to put yourself first at this point so that your recovery is a priority and you are always choosing to do what is best for yourself.
It's important to put yourself first at this point so that your recovery is a priority and you are always choosing to do what is best for yourself.
I'll take your advice and look at who is troubling me to the point of being abusive. Maybe that's why I haven't been able to make sobriety stick.
Giving up is NOT an option.
Join Date: Jan 2015
Location: Western Wisconsin
Posts: 7,808
Virtually no one is a hopeless case. I've seen people who literally lost EVERYTHING and were living on the street, begging for change to buy booze, get sober and turn their lives around. If they can, so can you.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: northern michigan. not the U.P.
Posts: 15,281
Originally Posted by sweetichick
Hey TomSteve, That's exactly what I need to do is face my demons head-on and not run away or shove them back in the cupboard. I've been running away from them to drink for years.
there were times during the 4th i had some major fear hit during what i was lookin at. thats where people at a meeting came to my assistance. i remeber hearing someone say that that past can only hurt me if i allow it and if its hurting me while doing the 4th step i should look at it from a different angle. looking at it with God in control gave me peace knowing that this process was going help me tremendously. i was going to learn causes and conditions and be able to change me.
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