Hendrix

Hello folks
Thanks to the caring non judgmental welcome back I received yesterday from this forum I'm now on day 2 again. I'm taking sobriety more seriously than ever before and looking at the 1 1/2 years I had under my belt as a learning experience. With hindsight the last of my recent series of benders didn't happen without warning - and I see that had I had a proper, written plan covering early warning signs and crisis planning the misery of relapse could have been avoided.

After a day yesterday feeling like death warmed up I finally snatched some fitful sleep through the anxiety and restlessness and feel more optimistic today. I don't want a drink yet - I'm enjoying the first cup of tea I've had in a week - and if I do feel cravings I'll be straight back here.

Today I'm going to eat some healthy food little and often, clean up a bit and go out for a walk somewhere lovely. I'll be browsing this forum a bit too. My plan is taking shape in my head and I'll be putting it to paper in due course and I'm determined to stay sober this time and really work at it and enjoy it.

Hope you all have a great day

Weasel1966

Good work at getting back to living sober. Having a plan is so important. Mine is simple. I will not drink today and I will never change my mind. That's from AVRT.

Hope you enjoy the walk and see day three on the horizon with clear vision.

Ken

Berrybean

Glad you're feeling more positive. Recovery is definitely possible, but we do need to keep ahead of the game. You can do this .

MIRecovery

My plan is and always will be preventative medicine. Did I need an AA meeting yesterday, did I need to post on SR, did I need to pray, did I need to read recovery literature?

I do these things so I don't need to do them. I do them because they keep me away from the edge of taking the first drink

Vandermast

Yo Hendrix

Cool handle

You are talking to a guy here who has had a few cracks at sobriety

Longest dry spell 7 years

Current under a year

Glad you are back

Time to make the Spanish castle out of concrete so it doesn't crumble to the sea

V

Opivotal

Hendrix, when the cravings start, and they will, log on before acting.

We've all been in your shoes. Support was the missing element in my sobriety.

SR was huge in my recovery.

Great job on day 2.

Soberwolf

^^^^

Sounds like a good plan & it made me feel good reading your post congrats brother

lunar

Thanks Hendrix.
Still climbing out of Sundays quagmire here.
Hang in there. Keep going.

Hendrix

Well I'm on to day 3 again - it's like being back to square one. I'm angry and miserable again and hate the world - especially those that seem to drink "normally".

Having been here before 18 months ago I know these feelings will go eventually so maybe I can learn from my mistakes.

What I do know is that a drink might help remove these feelings for a very brief time but it was drink that caused them in the first place.
I'm going to let the day unfold as it will, try not to control it but accept it for how it is........but I will not drink.

I didn't eat very well yesterday so I'll try to do that today - but I did go out for a couple of walks which really helped chill me out.

Have a great day

Soberwolf

Great job & realisation Hendrix

lunar

Tomorrow is day 4, Hendrix.
Congrats!
Day 5 here.
1983, a merman I should turn to be.

Hendrix

Well today was hard as hell - was close to going out and getting as much booze as I felt I needed to escape from the universe that seemed to be out to get me - but I didn't and I'm now safe on bed having eaten and looking forward to waking up to a whole new brighter day tomorrow - hope I can get to sleep

Hevyn

It's going to get better & the anxiety will simmer down, Hendrix. Proud of you for getting back down to business.

Anna

I'm glad you got through that, Hendrix.

Lightning Bug

Let me tell you what I learned in rehab. Relapse happens before you even think to take a drink. It starts when your coping skills begin to fail. For example (I use you here but I don't mean you personally) Maybe you become overwhelmed at work because you can't manage your time effectively. Or you fight with your spouse and things go unresolved. Or your kids are out of control because you can't say no. Not coping well with life's stresses creates an easy path to contemplation of a drink and then to the drink itself. Try thinking of the origin of your stresses and change the way you react to them. Have a plan to squash the stress. To go with the stresses I listed you could try not over scheduling your work day or not plan meetings at the end of the day. Or you could work on communicating your real feelings to your spouse to reconcile before it snowballs out of control. Or you can start small with your kids by saying no to them and following through without giving in. There is more to being sober than just quitting the drink. We have behaviors to change. We need to change the way we think. I hope I am making sense in what I am trying to say here.

Bug

Hendrix

Thanks for the support and input folks. What a difference a day makes - all the perceived stresses of yesterday don't seem to matter much today. Sleep is an amazing healer even if it did take a few hours of restlessness and irritation to get there!
Day 4 now and I'm not going to drink today so grateful I didn't drink yesterday.

Soberwolf

You are a legend Hendrix congrats

Hendrix

Really really depressed now - can't live as a drinker don't want to live without drinking. Going to try and sleep and see if it looks better tomorrow.

Soberwolf

It will these feelings will continue to pass I was an all day everyday drinker by the end of my drinking it wasn't living it wasnt even existing it was just decay & destruction of anything good that was still within me

The early days are the hardest and temptation is high but your doing the right thing & to quote Least 'Ive never woken up & regretted not drinking'

Dee74

We spent years as drinkers...give yourself a little time to ride out the transition Hendrix...4 days is great but it's early in the game.

You've been here before,...you know you won't always feel like this..it will pass

Lean on SR as much as you need to - ever joined a monthly support thread?

D