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Old 07-30-2016, 07:45 AM
  # 21 (permalink)  
A Smart Bug is a Sober Bug!
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Lightning Bug's Avatar
Join Date: Jul 2013
Location: Hot and Muggy South Florida
Posts: 1,396
Hi Midnight, thanks for stopping by! Amazing thing about clarity, I believe it comes easily to you when you are fully open, ready and receptive to accept it. It is like we have to prove ourselves worthy of clarity by being ready and dedicated to saving our own lives. I have tried to quit hundreds of times. Failed every time. I was never ready, mind, body and soul, to surrender, to admit I was an addict or to be completely honest with myself and others. I was never a Bible thumper praising God for all of life's blessings. Me? An agnostic asked to turn herself over to a higher power? My science books don't paint a lovely picture of a man on a throne in the sky watching over us. How could I reject my firm beliefs and accept that maybe there is a creator of all things and that I am accepting this on a faith built blindly in the middle of the night while I surrounded myself with peace? There is the key. My lack of faith was the piece of the puzzle missing each time I tried and failed. I failed in my recovery because my ego refused to believe that humans were not the supreme beings at the top of the food chain. Believing now in a God of my understanding allows me to admit defeat with grace and humbly beg for help. That was the key to my clarity. A whole new world opened up to me and I finally felt hope in achieving real recovery.

There I go getting wordy again!

Congrats on day 6! I don't believe we lose all our clean time when we relapse. A full day clean is a full day clean. Simple math. We just have to adjust our clean date and focus on all of the days we had clean not on the one day we failed. Just keep on getting back up and moving forward. And when you find your clarity, wrap your whole body around it and don't let go.

Originally Posted by MidnightRider View Post
Good stuff!

Congrats on what you have done to get your life back!

Thank you for this thread too. Your clarity is amazing and inspiring. Although, I prob wont be going to rehab (yet). I am going to try and do this on my own.

I am on day 6 for the 3rd time this year. I managed to do 60 days sober 2X so far this year.

I like what I am reading... Seams that the rehab center got you in the proper "space" to move forward. I will be reading more of your posts.

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Old 07-30-2016, 07:52 AM
  # 22 (permalink)  
emme99's Avatar
Join Date: Jun 2015
Location: USA
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Congratulations Bug! Really happy you are doing so well
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Old 07-30-2016, 07:58 AM
  # 23 (permalink)  
MythOfSisyphus's Avatar
Join Date: Oct 2012
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It's good to see you back! Congrats on 30 days, too.
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Old 07-30-2016, 08:14 AM
  # 24 (permalink)  
A Smart Bug is a Sober Bug!
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Join Date: Jul 2013
Location: Hot and Muggy South Florida
Posts: 1,396
Thanks for the warm wishes. I was sure I would be shunned for being a relapser and hung in an ally to let wild hogs nibble on my toes.
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Old 07-30-2016, 10:22 AM
  # 25 (permalink)  
Join Date: Feb 2015
Location: MN
Posts: 8,704
Welcome back Bug. So glad to hear the good news.
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