hpdw

Forgive me but the title just sort of came to me and its very apt in my case .I am tired of trying to work out the why and how of unwanted anxiety symptoms . I was doing really great mentally but have slipped down a few rungs of the ladder of tranquility . As per the title I can literally go to bed feeling fine and get to sleep no bother only to find myself waking with a start through the night sweating trembling and fearful . I wonder if no matter what I do with regard to anti anxiety techniques such as better breathing , exercise,mindfulness etc it will always be a part of who I am . Does anxiety disorder dwell in every cell ,hovering around waiting to be activated given the right set of circumstances . Yes ! I'm a born worrier and fretter ( i know , its not a word ) , I put others welfare before my own and often push myself to exhaustion trying to fix things ( other family members difficult situations ). Do any of you feel like jumping off the merry-go-round ? ( meaning cut ties from all the rubbish like my bulls**t job for example ) I do .
don't get me wrong I am comfortable enough and need nothing materialistic wise , just got a shiny new car last week and love it but theres something not right . I imagine say 7 or 8 coloured bands and one of them is a dark grey and the rest and nice pastels , I have a magnet attached to myself and the grey band had one too which seems to attract me to it . I manage to pull myself free and dance among the other colours only to find the grey one pulling me back to say hello ,it's a constant pulling away exercise . I can't stay in that grey area for long or else I am in danger of picking up a drink . I am at at my wits end some days but keep pushing forward trying to let go of the negatives but boy , its hard .

Thanks

D122y

Thom,

I believe the anxiety could be totally booze related. Lack of booze that is. Natural happy chemicals in the brain, e.g. dopamine, are altered by booze. Not permanently though. ..imo...

But....i am not a dr. Many need anti. Anxiety meds for ever. Whether booze related or not.

I pulled through w out them, many do. But, for many many months my world periodically was an anxiety hell.

It got better.

Thanks for the post.

I am over 1 year clean and the first 3 months i thought i was going insane.

hopeful4

Thomas, I have very high anxiety. My sister and father do too. It's just how we are wired. I just want you to know you are not alone, I really do understand what you are saying.

Hugs to you.

doggonecarl

Read How to Stop Worrying and Start Living, by Dale Carnegie

Ruby2

I wake up some mornings feeling the weight of the world and is this all there is? It usually passes by mid morning. Sometimes it doesn't. I don't really have any suggestions other than push through it and hang in there.

biminiblue

I agree with D122y, all the anxiety at odd hours, waking up with anxiety, over-reacting to other peoples' problems - all that was heightened in early sobriety.

I read a lot here - there is a lot of wisdom on this site. Try looking at the Friends & Family section, too. There is a lot there about detaching from others' issues and going with the flow of life. Acceptance of everything just as it is. Allowing other people the dignity of solving their own problems. Stepping aside when someone is causing me stress.

My #1 Goal in early sobriety was Serenity. That was it. Whatever it took. Sometimes there is something that can be done - other times not. If it's someone else's distorted thinking I can't change that. "Mind your own business," is some good advice I give myself on a regular basis.

Darwinia

Early sobriety is hell for most I think. Sometimes one just has to white-knuckle it. Reading here from people further down the line it is clear that it is absolutely worth it.

hpdw

Thanks for that , I like this guy .

i am going to re-read " the great pain deception " steve ozanich .
This author explains how the body can hang on to pain and other symptoms to keep us from facing buried emotions . He goes on to say that in some people when they get rid of physical pain sometimes anxiety or depression take hold . I can't explain this very well but he's trying to say the subconscious mind is very clever and won't give in easy and substitute one symptom for another to keep us focused on our body . Confusing is an understatement .
I need to mention that a great deal of joint and low back pain I had has gone since I read his book ( also John E Sarno stuff ) . Its very involved reading so I think I will go back to it .

Thanks all

AdelineRose

I too was suffering from anxiety- getting a full psych. exam from a psychiatrist that specialized in addiction which revealed that I suffered from Bipolar Type 2 disorder, Generalized Anxiety Disorder, and Treatment Resistant Depression which was connected with the Bi-polar Disorder. Getting on the proper medications made all the difference for me. It was life changing- like I was falling into a hole before the medicine and after I was being pulled up and then supported so I never fell into the hole again (as long as I continue to be medication compliant). Getting on the right medication along with substance abuse counseling and staying connected with my psychiatrist has changed my life. I also practice meditation, eating healthy, yoga, breathing techniques, working out, etc- but sometimes that is not enough, sometimes we need to address underlying issues in order to be able to benefit from the other techniques.

oldsoul112249

I have had PTSD all my life. I've recently discovered I'm an Adult Child of Alcoholic/ Dysfunctional Family. No alcohol but an abusive stressful emotional upbringing. I'm one year sober in AA but now just dealing with the real issues and what is trapped in me..including my body. You can Google ACOA Laundry List to see if you relate.

EndGameNYC

Driving around an ambulance or mobile crisis unit as an avocation is thankless work.

We all have a limited amount of psychic energy at any given time. We don't stand a chance when we do things that deplete us.