Interested in AA
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2016
Posts: 3
Interested in AA
Hello all 
It's been 8/9 days since I've had a drink and I'm interested in trying AA again.
I've been once before and it was my first and last time. I felt, after hearing everyone's stories that I didn't belong or deserve to be there because I haven't hit a complete rock bottom or because I'm young and I thought that they must have been looking at me wondering why the hell I was there.
I guess I'm just looking for encouragement or advice? I'm wondering if an all women group might make the transition easier.. I'm not sure.
Any feedback is welcome!
It's been 8/9 days since I've had a drink and I'm interested in trying AA again.
I've been once before and it was my first and last time. I felt, after hearing everyone's stories that I didn't belong or deserve to be there because I haven't hit a complete rock bottom or because I'm young and I thought that they must have been looking at me wondering why the hell I was there.
I guess I'm just looking for encouragement or advice? I'm wondering if an all women group might make the transition easier.. I'm not sure.
Any feedback is welcome!
Member
Join Date: Sep 2009
Posts: 709
Hi Kam, I've been to a few AA meetings, including a women's group, and they were not for me. That said, a lot of people find them helpful. I liked the women who were in the AA women's group; if I were looking for 12 step support, I would go back there. Good luck in whatever you decide.
Sobriety is Traditional
Join Date: Dec 2012
Location: Orcas Island, Washington
Posts: 9,067
Hi Kam!
Congratulations on staying sober for over a week!
I'm glad you posted your concerns here. Indeed I hear from many women that they are most comfortable at women-only meetings, and this would be a good place to start if there is such a meeting in your area soon. You could possibly give AA a call and there might be a woman who could talk to you and accompany you to your first meeting. It doesn't hurt to try calling! Often AA numbers are only a recording...
Congratulations on staying sober for over a week!
I'm glad you posted your concerns here. Indeed I hear from many women that they are most comfortable at women-only meetings, and this would be a good place to start if there is such a meeting in your area soon. You could possibly give AA a call and there might be a woman who could talk to you and accompany you to your first meeting. It doesn't hurt to try calling! Often AA numbers are only a recording...
Member
Join Date: Apr 2014
Location: UK
Posts: 6,902
Hi Kam. Where I lived when I started AA there were loads of meetings but only a couple of women only ones. In the end I just went to the first one I could get to. I've never actually found the mixed meetings an issue to be honest. What I have found more important is that meetings are solution focussed with a number of people there who have a good healthy sobriety and who know the program well enough to guide me. (There was one particular ranty meeting I went to for a while. It was made up of a small group of angry people who shouted about the same stuff every week, held their resentments like a shield, and accused anyone who spoke about steps, or sponsors or the literature as Big Book Bashers, and anyone who had found some peace and joy in sobriety of faking it. Woah!!) I tend to find that study meetings (Big Book study or 12 and 12 study etc.) Tend to be very recovery focussed, and are good places to find a sponsor who can guide you through the steps. I think I'm lucky in that most of my regular meetings have a high percentage of females anyway, and often we outnumber the men. That said, if you'd feel safer starting there, then do so.
No idea where you're based, but in the AA, if you phone the helpline, they can get a local member of the same sex to contact you for a chat. If it's like that where you are, perhaps that would be a good way of reaching out initially. The lady you speak to will no doubt know which meetings are the sanest and most female friendly.
No idea where you're based, but in the AA, if you phone the helpline, they can get a local member of the same sex to contact you for a chat. If it's like that where you are, perhaps that would be a good way of reaching out initially. The lady you speak to will no doubt know which meetings are the sanest and most female friendly.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: northern michigan. not the U.P.
Posts: 15,281
this is from the 2nd set of stories in the big book
Among today’s incoming A.A. members, many have never reached the advanced stages of alcoholism, though given time all might have.
Most of these fortunate ones have had little or no acquaintance with delirium, with hospitals, asylums, and jails. Some were drinking heavily, and there had been occasional serious episodes. But with many, drinking had been little more than a sometimes uncontrollable nuisance. Seldom had any of these lost either health, business, family, or friends.
Why do men and women like these join A.A.?
The seventeen who now tell their experiences answer that question. They saw that they had become actual or potential alcoholics, even though no serious harm had yet been done.
They realized that repeated lack of drinking control, when they really wanted control, was the fatal symptom that spelled problem drinking. This, plus mounting emotional disturbances, convinced them that compulsive alcoholism already had them; that complete ruin would be only a question of time.
Seeing this danger, they came to A.A. They realized that in the end alcoholism could be as mortal as cancer; certainly no sane man would wait for a malignant growth to become fatal before seeking help.
Therefore, these seventeen A.A.’s, and hundreds of thousands like them, have been saved years of infinite suffering. They sum it up something like this: “We didn’t wait to hit bottom because, thank God, we could see the bottom. Actually, the bottom came up and hit us. That sold us on Alcoholics Anonymous.”
Among today’s incoming A.A. members, many have never reached the advanced stages of alcoholism, though given time all might have.
Most of these fortunate ones have had little or no acquaintance with delirium, with hospitals, asylums, and jails. Some were drinking heavily, and there had been occasional serious episodes. But with many, drinking had been little more than a sometimes uncontrollable nuisance. Seldom had any of these lost either health, business, family, or friends.
Why do men and women like these join A.A.?
The seventeen who now tell their experiences answer that question. They saw that they had become actual or potential alcoholics, even though no serious harm had yet been done.
They realized that repeated lack of drinking control, when they really wanted control, was the fatal symptom that spelled problem drinking. This, plus mounting emotional disturbances, convinced them that compulsive alcoholism already had them; that complete ruin would be only a question of time.
Seeing this danger, they came to A.A. They realized that in the end alcoholism could be as mortal as cancer; certainly no sane man would wait for a malignant growth to become fatal before seeking help.
Therefore, these seventeen A.A.’s, and hundreds of thousands like them, have been saved years of infinite suffering. They sum it up something like this: “We didn’t wait to hit bottom because, thank God, we could see the bottom. Actually, the bottom came up and hit us. That sold us on Alcoholics Anonymous.”
Member
Join Date: Dec 2015
Location: Nova Scotia
Posts: 801
Welcome, I remember my first meeting in the mid 1990's and thought this is not for me, I personally found war stories a trigger however I lived near the city at the time and there are dozens of meetings so I decided to try others, I probably tried 8 different groups and found two I enjoyed. Although I am an alcoholic and have never used drugs I really enjoy NA meetings which is what I currently attend, NA at least here see's alcohol as a drug and alcoholics are made to feel very welcome.
All the best
Andrew
All the best
Andrew
Member
Join Date: Nov 2015
Location: East Coast USA
Posts: 1,068
As someone with a bit of experience in AA I'm more than happy to share my opinion. Some AA old timers will probably not like everything I have to say (because in their minds one should only glorify AA) but here goes. For me, as an over 50 yo male the AA program works pretty well. I am not keeping an exact count but I estimate that I have attended about 130-160 AA meetings so far this year. I also have a close friend in the AA program who is a professional clinical psychologist (CP) who treats a lot of people with addiction problems so I'm adding some of his thoughts on the topic.
At least in the geographic area where I live, the AA program fits older males best, older females second younger males third and in last place younger females.
That's not to say that young people can't succeed in the AA program but according to my CP friend he does not recommend that a young person just attend any AA meeting because as the original poster said they often can compare out when hearing the mostly older people share their experiences.
The bottom line is that most people in a given AA meeting are older and have abused alcohol for years even decades before coming in to AA. It's hard for younger people to relate to them.
Does that mean AA can't help you? Maybe or maybe not. It really depends on where you live. I live near an large city on the east coast. There are lots of meetings to choose from. If you can find a young persons meeting then you have a good chance of getting something positive out of AA. There is a meeting on Friday nights near a large college down town in the city that is full of young people. I have attended it once and was pleased to see all of the college age kids in that meeting. But most meetings I attend in the suburbs are dominated by the over 40 (often over 50) crowd. Probably not a fit for you.
I hope you can find an AA meeting that works for you. They are out there, it just takes a little more work to find them if you are young.
Good luck!
At least in the geographic area where I live, the AA program fits older males best, older females second younger males third and in last place younger females.
That's not to say that young people can't succeed in the AA program but according to my CP friend he does not recommend that a young person just attend any AA meeting because as the original poster said they often can compare out when hearing the mostly older people share their experiences.
The bottom line is that most people in a given AA meeting are older and have abused alcohol for years even decades before coming in to AA. It's hard for younger people to relate to them.
Does that mean AA can't help you? Maybe or maybe not. It really depends on where you live. I live near an large city on the east coast. There are lots of meetings to choose from. If you can find a young persons meeting then you have a good chance of getting something positive out of AA. There is a meeting on Friday nights near a large college down town in the city that is full of young people. I have attended it once and was pleased to see all of the college age kids in that meeting. But most meetings I attend in the suburbs are dominated by the over 40 (often over 50) crowd. Probably not a fit for you.
I hope you can find an AA meeting that works for you. They are out there, it just takes a little more work to find them if you are young.
Good luck!
A Day at a Time
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: Grand Rapids MI
Posts: 6,435
AA wasn't for me until I had exhausted pretty much every other possibility. I had painted myself into such a tight corner that if AA didn't work I was going to die. My experience is there is no such thing as a typical meeting. The people change, the topics change, where you are at mentally changes. In the meetings I attend I would guess about 20% are young people and the rest are all over the place age wise. There is an active YPAA Young people in AA where I live but I am of the opinion all meetings are good meetings just some are better than others. I did some window shopping before I settled on3-4 meetings that fit me
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