Dame

Hi,
Only been here about a week, but it's been great, and the love and support are tremendous. Thank you.

Sadly, I'm still not sleeping. I know folks are tired of my whining. But it's been 2 months, and I didn't get even 9 hours last week. Don't know how this is possible. See a new psych dr. tomorrow. I think it's a combination of bad stress and hormones. Not real hopeful. Drs. look at my poor Medicaid-entitled self with disgust and say "we can't help you, bye."I've been honest, open, respectful, show lot's of gratitude. God, but this is a hard-hearted town. Sorry. Self-pity.

Question: I've been reading so many stories here. I feel I should. It's only right, right? I want to help too. But many of them are breaking my heart. I feel myself in them, and the sorrow is greater. Should I stop for a while? I don't want to not feel compassion, but...I don't know. Thanks for the listen.

ScottFromWI

I think you could possibly avoid reading some of the more difficult stories if you feel they bring you down. The newcomers forum of course has lots of those but it's fairly easy to pick out from the title which ones might be more difficult to read. I personally think the benefit far outweighs the potential sadness of reading a difficulty story.

Hopefully your new Dr. can help out with some of your insomnia issues. It took me many weeks to start developing any regular sort of sleep pattern. Don't know if you've tried the following, but some tips that work for me

1. Avoid any electronics ( TV, phone, tablet etc ) for at least an hour before going to bed
2. Don't eat anything for a couple hours prior to bedtime
3. Make sure you are only using your bed for sleeping and keep your room dark/cool if possible before bedtime
4. Try and get some exercise, even just going for a walk is good for you
5. Cut back on caffeine/sugar, especially in the evenings
6. Look into guided meditation or self-meditation or any other relaxation techniques to help you wind down before bed

doggonecarl

Insomnia can be debilitating and demoralizing. However, it is common in early recovery. If you drank to quiet a racing mind, then the racing mind of early recovery makes it hard to sleep. But the only answer is staying sober.

Good luck.

As for reading or not reading the forum, I often have to step away. But that's different from leaving. Be selective about what you read, and don't carry their sorrow as yours.

Dharma33

Hi, Dame-

Sometimes it's good to step away a bit if you feel overwhelmed, but I wouldn't say to quit SR all together.

Personally, I find certain "homes" or threads on SR work best for me at different times, just depending on where I am in my head and things going on In my life.

Maybe check into your class thread, or the One Year and Under. Also checking in daily in the 24 hour thread is a great support (Maybe you are already doing these).

There is the Social Forum, down toward the bottom of the main page of SR. The Recipe thread, Lighter Side, Book Discussions can still keep you connected to the wonderful community here when you just need something a little less heavy, or a laugh.

Most of us have struggled with sleep in early sobriety- although frustrating, it usually even out in time, in my experience.

Glad you are here!

AmbrosiaBlue

Scott's advice above is solid! Definitely try to avoid caffeine 3 hours before bed and stay away from the blue light electronics.

totfit

If you have not been getting plenty of exercise, it is one thing critical for me and helpful to anyone with insomnia or anxiety issues. Exercise and a proper diet is the baseline we should all keep and work from there forward to solve any issues that remain. Just my 2 cents.

biminiblue

I had a lot of trouble sleeping in the first couple weeks of sobriety.

I stopped trying to force it. If I went to bed and my mind started spinning, I got back up and had some herbal tea or hot chocolate and came onto this site to read and post for a while. There is always someone here. Then, after my warm drink I was usually able to go to sleep.

The Newcomers forum can get overwhelming, especially in those emotionally sensitive early days. Many times other peoples' troubles would trigger some memory of mine that was uncomfortable. I would just log off when that happened and go watch mindless TV.

It gets better - all of it. The sleep will come when you need it, and the emotional sensitivity also will settle down in time. Hang on. Try Fluffy's Note thread. I mean, animal memes are the best.

Here, link:

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...part-20-a.html

Soberwolf

Hope this helps

https://sleepfoundation.org/sleep-to...thy-sleep-tips

Relaxation Techniques Home| UMMC Midtown Campus

Dame

Hi all,

Thanks very much for the feedback. Here I go again sounding like an "I can't do":

All the listed points: Haven't touched caffeine in 23 yrs. Don't eat refined sugars. I try to follow all of the Sleep Hygiene rules.
Exercise. I just can't. I have become so clumsy and accident prone (I put dishwashing liquid on my toothbrush) that I have become dangerous to myself (fractured 2 toes, cut myself, drop things). I hate that I can't really do chores. I get dizzy and can't remember where I put things 3 seconds ago. Memory: pretty shot. My writing shows it. I'm pretty mentally disoriented all the time, have tremors if stress hits (hits a lot). Have to keep things in order & visible or I lose it quickly. My weight is quite low, but I do eat regularly. I love exercise so much, I miss it.
Trying to do simple things: keep myself clean, washing hair is hard, wash dishes, tidy my bed.
I feel like I'm dying. Went to the ER month ago. Got an MRI. Fine they said. Bye. Feel like I should be back in the hospital ICU, but there wouldn't be a reason.
Sorry. I'm rambling. Maybe 7 hrs. sleep since Wednesday.
Afraid of insomnia-induced psychosis, Alzheimers????, lot's of fears going through my mind (yes, it only races now when I lie down).
I do think that I'm fighting too hard to sleep.
Oh yes: I have horrible nightmares. I know that this is very common, but a part of me is afraid to sleep I think.
Sorry for the whining and what must look like excuses.
Maybe the Dr. can help or ease my mind tomorrow. Prob won't sleep because I''m scared & the appt. is early. Can't miss it

Thanks again. I'll stick to reading lighter posts here. Lotsa love everyone. Be well everyone.

hpdw

Dame ,sorry about your sleep issue . I wanted to tell you about a Claire Weekes Audio that I have and worked wonders for me . Her voice is so relaxing and reassuring . She will explain how your nerves are sensitized and how this affects you . If I am allowed (admin) I could email you the mp3 file .

Dame

Thank you Tomas,
Very kind of you. I don't have any playing devices, but I watch and listen to things on youtube often. So you have given me an idea. Maybe I can find this speaker or some other talks on the subject.
That is really a coincidence too. The One thing I have counted on over the years are my favorite DVD movie Commentaries. Hearing a favorite Director, etc. calmly or happily discussing a loved project is helpful - especially if I've heard it many time. But the light from the screen is annoying, so maybe I can figure out how to lower or cancel the brightness/contrast.
A soothing voice is so nice.
Thanks again. Will check out some "Sleep talks"

keeppushing

Dame,

I've stepped away a few times, but I always make sure I set a date to come back. I see the discomfort as my mind's way of changing, similar to physical change when exercising.

KP

Hevyn

Dame, we don't consider it whining - you're making a huge adjustment. Most of us have had the same trouble with sleep. It took me a few months to stop waking up in the wee hours in a panic. I always try to read something light before falling asleep. I agree it's best to stay away from any stories that are upsetting - you can always read them later when you're feeling stronger & more confident.

Hope the doctor is helpful. You're doing great.

Anna

I started walking a lot for exercise when I began recovery and it's something I have come to love and need. Are you able to go out and walk? If so, the benefits are fantastic.

Dame

Thank you Hevyn and Anna.

It has been a great help to read your posts.
I know that you had troubles with sleep, Hevyn. Reading your experiences (and sleepie's and others) give me hope. And thanks for giving me a pass on the whining. I've been doing a lot of it, and I've been trying to deal with my anger/resentment. It's humbling to read so many similar (and different) experiences here.

Anna, I would love exercise, but unfortunately I really have become that clumsy. Also light-headed and I have low blood pressure.I forgot that I also got really lucky and found a Neurologist who agreed to see me. I'm scared, but maybe he can help. But I do walk around the house, up and down the stairs, do deep-knee bends, stretch frequently -cautiously.

I think there's a strong hormonal and stress component. It's so true about the emotions that come with sobriety. The reassurance and support here mean everything to me. I have no desire to drink. I've never been patient. I need to work on this. I'm a grown woman, but I feel like a little child.

Love everyone here.

ChiefBromden

While we can't create reality, we can choose on which parts of it we focus. Empathy is a great skill, but sometimes we need to be "egoistic" enough to protect ourselves, like when we are new to sobriety.

I remember focussing on people/stories/posts from people who did manage to turn their lives around. I was actually surprised when I found out it wasn't as uncommon as the statistics make it look. I still think, no, I'm sure, that this played a big role in getting and staying sober.

Reading about "success" stories can be inspiring, and once you feel like you are on more solid ground, so will be helping others. But first things first.

AnvilheadII

i suppose it should be said that NOT DRINKING is key.....i think you also mentioned taking your SO's sleep meds....again BAD idea.....we should never take meds prescribed to someone else.

i get it about insomnia....that's been a battle for me for about 15 years now. i'm here to tell ya, it didn't kill me!!! i understand the recommendations for good sleep hygiene, and i get the value, but for me, i gotta do what I GOTTA DO to get some sleep....and if that means i leave the TV on the ID channel with the volume down well so be it.

i know giving up FIGHTING and STRESSING about the lack of sleep or how many times i'm going to wake up tonite helps a lot. it just is what it is.........some nights are better than others. weekends i catch up on naps.

sugarbear1

I use my phone to listen to you tube or other audio things, I just turn the light side down on the table when I try to fall asleep.

Early recovery was hard on me, too. I did not sleep well for a long time, but I knew I was healing from many years of drinking. This wasn't going to change in a few short months.

There is hope, sleep did come finally and today, it's not so bad. I just created a habit of falling asleep listening to something, so I keep on doing that.

In early recovery, I listened to xa-speakers.org to fall asleep. Today, it's guided meditations or something else like TED talks.

Your sleep will come. For now, lay as still as possible so you can rest your body. That helped me.

Dame

Thanks folks for your own stories (I love stories...)

So much good advice here. Oh, Anvilhead: I decided to stear clear of the Ambien for sleep. I never got consistent results, and it isn't my script. Even when I had my own it was largely a fail. 2 hrs. knocked out followed by medicine-hangover.

I have at least started to watch what my mind does after I lie down. I studied Vipassana Meditation for years (good for sleep), but I still stink at it. Maybe time for a refresher session.
Thanks all

Dame

UPDATE: New psych dr. just called to re-schedule, which is OK. He got me in quick.

It sounds very hopeful. He practices in a larger city too, and sounds like he doesn't usually "roll" like the rest in this sad town. He said "Oh I do a lot of work with insomnia."