Hit 7 Months yesterday...Brain still hates me...
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2015
Location: Georgia
Posts: 576
Hit 7 Months yesterday...Brain still hates me...
Hit 7 Months yesterday...Brain still hates me...My mind is going ape-crap..
Trying to stay strong here...I am not a very patient person, especially with this stuff...
Just want my mind to slow down a bit so I can relax...
Trying to stay strong here...I am not a very patient person, especially with this stuff...
Just want my mind to slow down a bit so I can relax...
Recoverer of Self
Join Date: Dec 2015
Location: Ontario, Canada
Posts: 297
Hi Nofear...I can relate...I just passed 7 months myself and am going crazy...at 6 months I was in heaven and then it changed.....I feel totally different....despite nothing changing in my life...life is good...but my brain is HATING me. I feel anxious and depressed and gloomy.....despite being healthier and happier than ever....I'm chalking it up to the ongoing changes my physiology is going through, my brain is still healing...
.so I'm holding my breath and hoping it gets better.....cause this feels like the beginning of the end.
.so I'm holding my breath and hoping it gets better.....cause this feels like the beginning of the end.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2015
Location: Georgia
Posts: 576
Thanks ya'll... I want off this train wreck soon....Hoping everyone makes it past this stage unscathed...So many things are going right , except my thinking...Frustrating to say the least..
And yes , I do breathing exercises and meditation...Helps sometimes , other times just feels like wasted time..
Buuut, we are trying...
And yes , I do breathing exercises and meditation...Helps sometimes , other times just feels like wasted time..
Buuut, we are trying...
Member
Join Date: Apr 2014
Location: UK
Posts: 6,902
What else are you doing as part of your plan NFNB? It might be worth thinking through any suggestions that up to now you've been unwilling to try. Sometimes the things we need the most are the things that our AVs most strongly convince us not to engage in.
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Join Date: Mar 2016
Location: Atlanta
Posts: 125
Originally Posted by Berrybean 
What else are you doing as part of your plan NFNB? It might be worth thinking through any suggestions that up to now you've been unwilling to try. Sometimes the things we need the most are the things that our AVs most strongly convince us not to engage in.
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Join Date: Aug 2015
Location: Atlanta
Posts: 8,674
Speaking for myself, not Berry Bean, but here are a few things (And I am in a crappy mood this am and just snapped at the nice maintenance made; love needing to make an amend first thing in the am):
Morning devotional work- I have mentioned on other threads what I do every morning: read pp 86-88 in the BB, study the daily Richard Rohr meditation (see https://cac.org/sign-up/), read the daily from Keep It Simple: Daily Meditations for 12 Step Beginnings and Renewals, check SR and ask myself HALT. Today's devotional, appropriately for this forum and other group stuff, is not being alone like we were when sick.
Talking to a friend, going to a meeting, going for a run, sending myself to bed early....other things I do.
This also sounds applicable to most of us - pink clouds and dark clouds, physical etc etc - on PAWS - https://digital-dharma.net/post-acut...r-immediately/
Doesn't make it more fun, but I have been told we need a year (or more, esp for women) to "settle" into our sober selves.
Hang in there.
Morning devotional work- I have mentioned on other threads what I do every morning: read pp 86-88 in the BB, study the daily Richard Rohr meditation (see https://cac.org/sign-up/), read the daily from Keep It Simple: Daily Meditations for 12 Step Beginnings and Renewals, check SR and ask myself HALT. Today's devotional, appropriately for this forum and other group stuff, is not being alone like we were when sick.
Talking to a friend, going to a meeting, going for a run, sending myself to bed early....other things I do.
This also sounds applicable to most of us - pink clouds and dark clouds, physical etc etc - on PAWS - https://digital-dharma.net/post-acut...r-immediately/
Doesn't make it more fun, but I have been told we need a year (or more, esp for women) to "settle" into our sober selves.
Hang in there.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2014
Location: UK
Posts: 6,902
I'm an AAer so a lot of my plan is based around my 12-step work. Anyway. I do have a list which I keep close at hand because I find that I have a bloody awful memory for things I NEED, (but an uncanny one for things I want - which is often less than helpful). So, this is my list as it's written on my scrappy bit of paper (plus added notes in brackets)....
Prayers and meditation (daily, every morning, based on the 12-step program)
Read the literature - SEEK (Sometimes this is AA literature, sometimes not. I do try to read a little of the big book or reflections every morning. But often books or authors are recommended here, or at church, or by someone in AA and I try to keep and open mind about things and keep learning and challenging my old thought processes which were fear and ego driven. For example, at the moment I'm reading a brilliant book and it's really bugging me how I heard of it... it's called Accidental Saints by someone called Nadia Bolt Weber. I really only ever read fiction books before I started working on my recovery.)
Helping others (in daily life, AA or on here - it's good, and soothing, to adjust my focus to outside my self, my past, my very insistent wants, and my own problems)
Make amends if ive harmed anyone.
Contact my sponsor or other AA friends (even if just to say Hi how are you? )
Meetings (especially when I don't want to go - generally that's when I get the most out if them)
Service in the fellowship
Listen to speaker recordings on non-meeting days (5500+ AA Speakers & Tapes - Organized & Mobile-Friendly! )
Apply the principles of the AA program to all areas of my life
It might sound a lot, but actually most of the things don't take much time in the day. It's just a matter of me remembering to do them, and not getting caught up in procrastination.
Also, I did need to start adding new and different hobbies and interests to fill the void left by stopping drinking (it was amazing to me how long a weekend could be when it's not punctuated liberally with whisky, cider, bars and drunken shenanigans. Not everything over tried has stayed on my Fun list. Bell ringing for example. That was a fiasco. But tap dancing, choir, Creative Writing group, coffee and cake (thats always a winner) with good friends, visiting new and diffrent places, going to the theatre to watch a show every so often (usually only local amateur ones, as its so expensive to go to the theatre), going to author events at my local bookshop, getting i volved in local events through volunteering to help out, and being designated driver to get to places where there is live music - they're all keepers, not all at the same time though, obviously. It did take a bit of trial and error to figure out what I liked doing though, because I'd become very detached from who I was and what I liked, apart from the drinking and aspect of me.
Anyway. Sorry if that's not quite what you meant. Hope it's not too waffley.
Prayers and meditation (daily, every morning, based on the 12-step program)
Read the literature - SEEK (Sometimes this is AA literature, sometimes not. I do try to read a little of the big book or reflections every morning. But often books or authors are recommended here, or at church, or by someone in AA and I try to keep and open mind about things and keep learning and challenging my old thought processes which were fear and ego driven. For example, at the moment I'm reading a brilliant book and it's really bugging me how I heard of it... it's called Accidental Saints by someone called Nadia Bolt Weber. I really only ever read fiction books before I started working on my recovery.)
Helping others (in daily life, AA or on here - it's good, and soothing, to adjust my focus to outside my self, my past, my very insistent wants, and my own problems)
Make amends if ive harmed anyone.
Contact my sponsor or other AA friends (even if just to say Hi how are you? )
Meetings (especially when I don't want to go - generally that's when I get the most out if them)
Service in the fellowship
Listen to speaker recordings on non-meeting days (5500+ AA Speakers & Tapes - Organized & Mobile-Friendly! )
Apply the principles of the AA program to all areas of my life
It might sound a lot, but actually most of the things don't take much time in the day. It's just a matter of me remembering to do them, and not getting caught up in procrastination.
Also, I did need to start adding new and different hobbies and interests to fill the void left by stopping drinking (it was amazing to me how long a weekend could be when it's not punctuated liberally with whisky, cider, bars and drunken shenanigans. Not everything over tried has stayed on my Fun list. Bell ringing for example. That was a fiasco. But tap dancing, choir, Creative Writing group, coffee and cake (thats always a winner) with good friends, visiting new and diffrent places, going to the theatre to watch a show every so often (usually only local amateur ones, as its so expensive to go to the theatre), going to author events at my local bookshop, getting i volved in local events through volunteering to help out, and being designated driver to get to places where there is live music - they're all keepers, not all at the same time though, obviously. It did take a bit of trial and error to figure out what I liked doing though, because I'd become very detached from who I was and what I liked, apart from the drinking and aspect of me.
Anyway. Sorry if that's not quite what you meant. Hope it's not too waffley.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2015
Location: USA
Posts: 701
I can definitely relate to your post. Around that time period, (6,7,8 months or so) it was really, really difficult for me. I struggled at work because my brain simply refused to cooperate.
I don't have any answers in terms of speeding up the process towards brain recovery, but I can assure you it DOES get better. Hang in there!
I don't have any answers in terms of speeding up the process towards brain recovery, but I can assure you it DOES get better. Hang in there!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2015
Location: Georgia
Posts: 576
Waffley??? Hmm...Nope, not at all...Very informative and enlightening...Thanks for sharing..
I have a therapist appt for tomorrow...Hope they can also share some wisdom...
At the moment I am going to 2 meetings a week...With life , kids, job , that's all I can manage at this time...The whole durn thing is exhausting as it is...
Can't go back , and can't seem to rush forward...
I have a therapist appt for tomorrow...Hope they can also share some wisdom...
At the moment I am going to 2 meetings a week...With life , kids, job , that's all I can manage at this time...The whole durn thing is exhausting as it is...
Can't go back , and can't seem to rush forward...
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Join Date: Apr 2014
Location: UK
Posts: 6,902
I reckon you can fit in a couple of the other bits as well. If yiu wanted to. It all comes down to that willingness. But I don't know many people who got too well by just going to meetings. It's a program of action. We get the real benefits from it when we take what we learn out of the safety of the rooms and start applying it to our busy and stressful lives, because that's where the decisions, responsibilities, relationships, fears and resentments are.
The first step prayer and serenity prayer would only take a couple of minutes in the bathroom each morning.
Listening to some if the speakers is great between meetings. The site I gave you the link to has them arranged in order of steps, which I like because I can focus on ones for whatever step I'm working on. I bought a really cheap mp3 player from amazon (cheap and nasty really, but it does the job) and that means I have those speaker recordings with me to listen to while I'm doing chores, or driving to and from work, or walking. And reading, doesn't have to mean reading for hours. It could just mean 10 mins a day. It's likely that it'll end up stealing less time from your week that alcohol did. I'm a teacher, and ridiculously busy in term time. But I have learned that when I don't do those simple little things because I'm too busy, it generally is not a good day.
You're right. No one can do this in a rush. But that's more because it takes time to wrap our head about it. But like it says in How It Works, half measures avail us nothing. If we want this thing to work for us, then we have to work for it.
The first step prayer and serenity prayer would only take a couple of minutes in the bathroom each morning.
Listening to some if the speakers is great between meetings. The site I gave you the link to has them arranged in order of steps, which I like because I can focus on ones for whatever step I'm working on. I bought a really cheap mp3 player from amazon (cheap and nasty really, but it does the job) and that means I have those speaker recordings with me to listen to while I'm doing chores, or driving to and from work, or walking. And reading, doesn't have to mean reading for hours. It could just mean 10 mins a day. It's likely that it'll end up stealing less time from your week that alcohol did. I'm a teacher, and ridiculously busy in term time. But I have learned that when I don't do those simple little things because I'm too busy, it generally is not a good day.
You're right. No one can do this in a rush. But that's more because it takes time to wrap our head about it. But like it says in How It Works, half measures avail us nothing. If we want this thing to work for us, then we have to work for it.
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