I need help
 

I went 150 days sober and went to a bachelor party and haven't stopped drinking for 3 months. Super embarrassed. I drink at least 6 drinks a day and feel good when it's just 6 drinks. I could use some encouraging words. Going to my first AA meeting tomorrow.

Welcome to SR BRichards. You'll find a lot of folks here who understand exactly how you feel as most of us have been there at some point. Going 150 days without drinking is no small feat, and you can absolutely do it again if you really want to. I think going to an AA meeting is a great idea too, hope it goes well and don't be afraid to check back in and let us know.

Hi BRichards, welcome! Knowing you need help is a great place to be in, because help is out there. You've had some sober time so you know this can be done. Keep trying until you find what works for you, be it AA or other methods. There's lots of good info on this site -- keep reading and posting!

Yes, as others have said, do whatever it takes to get and stay sober. You've done well with 120 days sober. That's terrific. Try to focus on the positive and make a plan about what you can do to make this work.

Hi BR. I'm glad you wanted to talk things over here - this is a great place for encouragement.

It took me a long time to finally admit I had no control once alcohol was in my system. For many years I insisted I just needed willpower. I wasted so much time trying to moderate. Once I admitted I couldn't touch the stuff (not a drop) I was able to heal and get free. So can you! Welcome.

I need help
 

Went 150 days sober, then went to a bachelor party in April and went crazy. Been drinking everyday. A good day is 6 drinks. Super embarrassed, I lost 30lbs not drinking and don't want to return to what I was. Going to my first AA meeting tomorrow but I don't want to do 12 Steps. I have God problems. Would love advice.

Firstly, I think it might be smart to reflect on what went wrong the last time in your recovery. It might be better this time to avoid places where drinking is involved, especially where excessive drinking is involved such as a bachelor party. I am not saying this to chastise you, I am saying this because I know that once we all get some sober time we start to think we are invincible and that we have the strength to go anywhere without being tempted.

If you don't plan on working the steps there are other recovery programs that can be followed that don't involve centering around God if you have problems with that. It might help to review them and see if one or a couple of them fit your needs. You can always take a little bit from all the recovery programs and take what you need and leave the rest alone.

You can do this, most of us have had slip ups and have to start over again. Have you considered substance abuse counseling to help in early recovery? I have found counseling to be a great resource of information and getting a way of getting tools to overcome temptation by giving us the skills that as we work on our recovery we can lean on.

my advise is dont throw the baby out with the bathwater until you understand the program which is found in the big book, which has an excellent chapter titled,"we agnositcs."

BR,
hope you find the help you need.
depending on where you live, there will be lots of different options for in-person meetings and support.
regardless of that, there are lots of on-line ways that don't involve God problems.

whatever you do, the doing is going to be the main thing.

Welcome BRichards :)

I know lots of folks who do AA who don't do the 'God thing' but who still did the Steps, gave it all they had and are in long term recovery.

There are other meeting based recovery options too:

Here's some links to some of the main players, including but not limited to AA:

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...formation.html

I recommend you visit the Secular Connections forum if you think you may benefit from a non 12 step approach.

Basically, if you want help, it's out there :)

D

I had a god problem, too. But I worked those 12 steps and lost my desire/obsession/cravings to drink or use any other substance.

Was it god? I don't know, but I'm glad I worked those steps (several times in the last 5 sober years!).

Today, I'm willing to stop insisting there is no god. simple, not easy.

The AA fellowship has a single rule, "The only requirement for membership is a desire to stop drinking". That gets you in the door, and you can attend as many meetings as you want, but that may not be enough to get you sober.

AA in recovery terms is a spiritual program of action. For an alcoholic of my type, recovery was not possible without working those steps.

I had the same god issues as many newcomers, but working the steps got me past that. My approach was that I was willing to believe but only if I got some evidence for myself. Ancient history now, I have not needed to drink since.

Honesty, open mindedness and willingness are the essentials. We can only be defeated by an attitude of belligerent denial.

Good plan, so far.
 

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Welcome to SR, BRichards

You'll find all sorts of help here.

I find that face-to-face meetings are even better.

So, it sounds good to me that you decided to go to a meeting.

You get to decide whether to work through the steps or not.

You get to decide whether to go to a second meeting or not.

You get to decide how you work on your own recovery.

Please let us know how it goes for you.

Welcome Brichards

Thank you
 

Thank you everyone for the thoughts.

Find some people in your area that you can grab coffee/dinner with and discuss with them what you're going through. It is likely they will understand exactly what you're telling them and hopefully they will help you by getting you started in a program, whichever it may be.

Why not just keep an open mind. After all, thatd be unlikely to start for a while anyway. I spent 6 months just going to meetings before makinv the decision to get a sponsor and work the steps. I know plenty of people with years and years of healthy sobriety working the 12-steps who are non-believers. The important point is finding a God of your own understanding. It doesn't matter really what this is (Group of Drunks, Great Out Doors, Love, Nature, whatever) as long as you don't think that it's YOU that controls everything and everyone, and is central to the universe. We tend to suffer a little from ego and self-winding run riot. AA is a spiritual program, not a religious one. For the sake of fellowship, people use the word God as representative of whatever they have chosen as their Higher Power. It seems that nature and the Great Out Doors are popular ones because being with nature tends to help us right-sized ourselves and our problems and see our place as part of the world rather than what it revolves around. There are some amazing places where I know I can always get right-sized. My favourite ones being mountainous or near the sea, or preferably a bit of both.

Anyway, I'm waffling.. is there anything you wanted to know about what to expect from your first meeting, or have you been before? Ask away if there's anything that might help.

Hey, BRichards.

Did you get to that meeting?

How'd it go for you?

Hoping you're OK.

The only encouraging words I have are "get your butt to that AA meeting".

Hi BR. Congrats on the 150 days. That's a lot of sober time, and you probably felt like you could take on the challenge.

I drank at home, which keeps me away from "party/club temptation" but isolation can be bad too. Maybe best to stay out of drinking venues for a while. I don't do AA and wish I had more friends. Sounds like you have plenty though. Do they know about your sobriety? Respect it? If so, see if they can respect the boundaries you set when all together.

After my several 'slips' I didn't go back to day one. My accumulated sober time meant more to me than a few bad mistakes.
Get back on track and stick around!