D122y

Thanks all, but I didn't know the lady at all. I cannot even put her name to a face.

The main reason I posted this was to journal what this boozing road can lead to.

We read about relapses and struggling w anxiety, but when someone puts a gun in their mouth and follows through.....that is as serious as it gets....

I am naive, toying w my drinking problem. This event shook me, everyone at my meeting, and hopefully anyone reading this. It changed my reality.

I would go to the meetings and look around and see all the old and young people, like me, and think...at least I am trying to stay clean....good for me... We are a bunch of ex boozing folks doing the right thing...

In my new reality.....We all have crossed the line. We carry a heavy burden. We know we have a problem, and when/if we relapse it weighs heavy on us. It brings us down....

The hiding starts...the lieing....the anxiety...paranoia...sleeplessness....sickness.... the horrid cycle...

Booze is a highly addictive drug that has and will ruin so many folks as well as kill again and again and again.

Stay clean.

Thanks for posts.