sva777

So it has been a pretty good year until I slipped up this week. I am not sure what came over me but I bought some beer after work Tuesday. I drank until Thursday around noon when I decided to stop due to my wife being furious and my parents finding out. I had made a few walks to the store to buy more beers since I live right near main street. I am ashamed and mad at myself. I am hungover but luckily not much worse than that probably due to staying away from the amounts I used to drink.

I want to move forward and I hate having this shadow following me for the rest of my life. I know I can't drink, I know I shouldn't drink... I don't want to be miserable anymore.

doggonecarl

Maybe you should look at what came over you, or what was leading up to the relapse, because it's keeping you from attaining any lasting sobriety.

I know when I relapsed (on drugs) I decided that getting high was more important than staying clean. I had taken my eye off the goal of long-term recovery. And also the sneaky 12 year old alter ego inside me knew he could get away with it and like any decision of a "child" didn't think of the consequences.

I'm an addict. I'll always be an addict. And an alcoholic. Doesn't mean I have to be a using or drinking addict. I must choose to remain clean and sober.

sva777

Very true, I know I am an alcoholic. I am not hiding from that. Similar to you I did think I could get away with something. I need to make that part of my mind get under control.

I never get away with any drinking because I am an alcoholic and I don't know when to stop. Why I convince myself I can I don't know but I need it to stop.

thomas11

Hey SVA, wow, kind of surprised to hear this. Well, I guess what's done is done, but I'm glad you are going to get right back at it. I see no sense in beating yourself up too much over it. Sounds pretty slippery though, Tuesday thru Thursday could have gotten out of hand quickly.

KeyofC

Move forward..dont wallow around in the fact you fell. Yes, examine the why..then make a better plan than you the first one that seemed to be working for you from what you said about it being a pretty good year. Guard yourself so it won't happen again that way. You've had a bunch of small victories...don't let one defeat outweigh all the small victories.
Get up, brush off, go again!

sva777

Very true, it could have gotten out of hand quickly. I know having my wife and parents intervene probably kept it from going longer. Yesterday I felt bad and today a bit better. I got lucky that I didn't drink hard liquor or have it go on any longer.

I am here ready to make today a new day, being accountable and ready to restart my plan.

keeppushing

Well, I'm sitting here thinking "6+ months?! Wow, how lucky!" Mistakes happen. Don't beat yourself up. Look forward. This isn't a race about who has the longest continuous days abstinent. It is looking forwards. You've done great. I'm actually envious

KP

Soberwolf

Acceptance my friend sets us free

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...ery-plans.html

ScottFromWI

Glad yon made it back Sva, some don't. What exactly is your plan if you don't mind sharing? Were you using it leading up until Tuesday?

tomsteve

ive heard it said and believe it true that people don't just have one of them slips or relapses- its premeditated.

Hevyn

Sva - I'm glad you shared what happened. The last time I did this it took me years to get back on track. You learned something valuable.

Dee74

Lots of good advice here already SVA
welcome back - start working on that revised plan!

D

sva777

Thanks everyone, it's been three days since I stopped drinking and I am feeling better. I am taking everything everyone said seriously and reforming my plan.

It's true slips are probably premeditated in nature and I am going to work on how to deal with that.

bandicoot2

Hi sva! You were one of the first to welcome me to SR last January and I really appreciate that, thank you.

I had 21 days in on my first post and you posed the question, "What is your plan to stay Sober?" Thank you for that one too!

Glad you came back! Take care and work that plan.....