mawapril

I know it's a life long commitment and i'm not looking for a quick fix, but in your opinion what is a good amount of days to grasp the "okay i'm on a roll" feeling....

For me it's like a week or two or three or four then I get back "on" the bandwagon and i completely forget about my magnificent time off the booze which was so much better than being on it.

I know it'll vary but i just want to know when people start feeling the "ok it's been a month off, and i want to drink" but then choose to fight through it anyway....

maybe I lack the will power?

Dee74

For me it wasn't so much will power as acceptance. I had to accept that no amount of time off was going to reset me as a normal drinker.

It too me a ridiculous amount of time to get to that realisation - but once I accepted that, and began to build a life based on that acceptance, things got a lot easier.

Being a part of a community like this, and posting regularly, really helped me mawapril

D

noneever

I agree that it's about acceptance, not will power. I have tried and tried and tried moderation. It doesn't work. Because moderation or trying drinking 'rules' at it's core is a refusal to accept that I just can't drink ever again.
Today I accept that I cannot drink alcohol and it feels like a relief. There's no wriggle room.

mawapril

Thanks Dee74, i feel like i've acknowledged it and accepted it but not quite fully yet. I am trying really hard to wrap my head around it and i think i'm coming close. I would be lying if I said I, at this exact moment, I can make that commitment right now. It is, however what I want and what i hope to have soon. I'm working at building up my supports that I need (therapy, working out, trying to be more open socially, playing my guitar, dancing and being more creative which is in my nature).
It's so hard though. I never thought any kind of support group would work but I feel really hopeful about SR so I'll keep checking in and gather more inspiration from here. Thanks again

Dee74

I wasn't sure I could make a forever commitment either - but I knew I could make a commitment for today, and a commitment to make the same commitment again tomorrow...

after a while the accumulating string of days meant that 'forever' wasn't so daunting anymore, cos I was already doing it....

D

Arpeggioh

Yes, the "forever" thing; that epic commitment--

I've had eight years of consecutive sobriety; I've had many individual years when I drank every moment I could get away with it; I've had months, weeks, days sober over the course of thirty years; forever is a concept that feels unsustainable for me...

So I truly believe in that tired old adage that you read about, and hear repeated constantly: One Day At A Time. I can commit to not drinking today. As soon as my thoughts go futuristic ("but what about..."), my resolve weakens and I start to doubt that I can stay sober. I literally have to force my thinking back to this one day ahead of me (and I do mean force!) Once my mind wanders ahead and doubts creep in about the future, I'm halfway back to drinking already...

Just my personal experience as a chronic relapser; I hope you find it useful, and wish you the best -- Arp