PleasePressGo

Hello,

Call me Tom. Im 34 years old. When I was a teen I went NA,AA. So I suppose I know the realm here. I'll be honest and say I have barely a day of sabritory. My mind is a mess and Ive seen myself slowly unravelling. Based on my work schedule, it makes it hard to hit a meeting. My poison of choice is Bourbon and Beer. Im hoping to, well, hoping I guess. Thanks for listening.
Tom.

MelindaFlowers

Hey Tom,

I'm 34 too. When I was drinking I rarely had a sober day. It was an everyday thing for me too. My poison was vodka. I felt terrible from the moment I got up until the evening when I'd numb the headache with my first of many drinks. It's a terrible cycle but we can break it. I never thought I would stop until one day, very suddenly, I couldn't stand how it was making me feel every day. I was less scared of stopping than I was of continuing.

The single most important tool I had for stopping was connecting on here with others who were going through, or had gone through, the same thing I had.

Welcome.

Jsbodhi

Hi! Welcome xo

Trees39

Hey Tom. Hope you are well.
It's Friday night where I am, bit wintery and I'm sober.
Have a good one.

JK130

Hey Tom, I'm glad you're here. It sounds like you might be ready for a change. You can do that - pour out any leftover alcohol first. One day is a good first step. Check that off, and you don't have to do it again! Welcome!

Pixus

Welcome Tom!

Dee74

Hi Tom- welcome aboard

You had three threads on the go so I merged them all.

If it doesn't look like your thread posted, or like you're not getting replies, just refresh the page

are you thinking of going the AA/NA route again?
D

PleasePressGo

Has I ready myself for work, I read ur responses. Thank you MelindaFlower for your honest response. Too answer another another, yes, im considering going to AA on the weekends. My name is not really Tom. My name is rather unique. Im not hiding it because I am embarrassed to be here. Rather, the backlash from my employer for lies/excuses ive told. So please understand.

A little about me..

I work in Sales & Marketing. Taking clients out to wine and dine is a regular deal. Traveling to trade shows can be 1000% worse. My habits did not originate at work. Im also a at home closet drinker. Yes, I hide it from friends and family. ( a major sign of alcohol dependence). My drinking style is unique. Im not the everday sort. Instead, a bi-daily binger. I will drink and smoke til eveything is gone, and the next day recover and not touch a thing. For me drinking and smoking go hand in hand. On my hangover days I am antisocial. On my drinking days, I am the life of any engagement. In fact, I worry, because, I fear ive built my life around those drinking days.... my life, work, identity, the past 12 years. Now, this lifestyle is catching up with me in a hard way. I feel like im on the verge of a breakdown. Im saying things I wouldnt normally, I see mysrlf getting lazy, Im not as close to loved ones as before. My manta "Mind over matter" is failing me now. I guess its my mind that needs to fixing. Ok. Off to work. Thanks again.

Dee74

Most of us built a life, if not careers, around our drinking.

Not drinking any more bought many changes to my life but, although thinking about them was scary as hell, none of them actually turned out badly...in fact I have a life today that I could never have dreamed of as a drinker....

I love my life and I love who I am.
I reckon you deserve the chance to experience that too, Tom

D

BarOwnersSon

Exactly what Dee said. It's not too late to change the narrative. I tried that 'mind over matter' mantra for years. The alcoholic mind isn't a very good guide, as it turns out.

least

Welcome to the family. You'll find lots of support and good ideas here. I hope we can help you get sober for good.

tomsteve

welcome. how much and how often ya drank doesn't matter. same crap rollin around in your melon as the closet wine drinker, prosecuting atty with a bottle in his desk, skidrow drunk,etc.

AA didn't save my life. I didn't have a life, I was just existing.
it gave me a life I could never have imagined.

madzmartigan

Mind over matter doesn't work because it just convinces us that we aren't matter and that we don't matter... and we are, and we do.

We have to take our bodies into account. I am three days sober so I'm not sure what to say as advice... just that when I got sober the first time I finally realized that my body is important. Flush your AV!

Vandermast

Hey tom

Welcome

Yes problems with booze cause lots of shame embarrassment and work dramas

I've drunk myself out of good positions

Sometimes though those occurrences drive us to face our problems squarely and honestly and take the required action

As you have done

Nice to see you on board

Keep the plug in the jug

Van

PleasePressGo

Ive screwed up again.. my gf is still furious. Had a huge meeting north of Boston. Asked her to join me as it was a formal greet. I did well the 1st half. Dealt with the uppers/ decision makers. The rest was not so cool. I continued to to take drinks/shots with those that were likely interns. Came to in a cab. She left me some point that evening. Wont know the full damage til monday. Ive wanted to strangle myself all day. She hasnt called me back all day. Just another chapter of my stupidity.
The only good note is that I have been sober for 24 hours. Ive binged watch a show called "Stranger Things". It's a netflix show. Took my mind off my dreppisive state.

Also, I found a meeting at 3:30 Sunday. I will try to make this leap. Thanks fir listening. Tom.

Dee74

Maybe you can make this your turning point Tom?

D

PleasePressGo

I hope. Thanks Dee.

Dee74

You can make it so, Tom

D

Vandermast

Go hard Tom

Make it the last

Your new life beckons........

Van

chickippo

i worked in an industry renowned for its partying. i travelled a lot and it was amazing fun. until it wasn't any more, and things unraveled to the point that i yelled at a Director in a meeting at 9am. i still stand by my point, but i was drunk. obviously, horrifyingly drunk.

i quit that job and had a major breakdown. i have missed huge opportunities because my reputation in the industry is shot. 4 years later my mental health has declined and i live on disability benefits.

the breakdown would have happened anyway i think. the job was doing me no good really as i was out of control including on international solo trips which was hellishly dangerous. i still miss my job sometimes, and my friends as i just went home one day and never came back.

but now, at just over 2 years sober i am astonished to find that on reflection i am happy with how things turned out. i was a rock-bottom, mouthwash-drinking alcoholic with a death wish. not a winning combination.

if you can get hold of this now you will be 10 years up on me. make the change and see how much better life is sober.

be well.