alot of thinking recently.
 

Well I have more time on my hands since I'm out of work . Finished reading caroline knapps book drinking a love story. Alot of interesting quotes and truths to alcoholism a must read to anyone struggling . But anyways I've been thinking alot and its just amazing how much time and money ive spent on drinking . When I was drinking very heavy the next day hung over on my way to work or somewhere id see shadows and would think someone was there and look but nothing or even at work id be on a ladder and see a shadow but no one was there. Did anyone else ever experience this? Kind of rambling just bored .

Tonight once my son goes to sleep im going to sit down and make myself a plan. Im going to out all my effort into this . Once I started drinking daily I new it was now or never . Ive gained atleast 20 pounds this past year im the heaviest ive been all thanks to drinking and binge eating before I went to bed to try and avoid an awful hangover .

I'm interested in hearing about the plan you come up with FYMS :)

D

Thanks dee.

There's alot of blank years as well atleast these past 5 years. My girlfriend will ask me things weve done or she said and I just can't remember. My sons 3 now and I can barely remember him being a baby I was so loaded all the time. All I can really remember are his first steps which is great. Just bothers me that I cant remember . Towards the end I was blacking out every night and could not remember anything at all id wake up for work and have no recollection of anything . Couldn't find my wallet or phone my glasses a terrible feeling especially when u cant find ur glasses .

This is good FYMS

I had paranoia when I was drinking - not shadows but that people were talking negatively about me even when I was sober

Losing weight was another bonus

I hope your ankle heals quickly

All that free time really opens up your chances to get to lots of AA meetings!

My recovery plan involved seeing an addiction counselor once a week and making daily visits to SR. I no longer see the counselor, but still come here daily, and have over six and a half years sober. And I'm happier than I've ever been. :)

Develop a good plan and work it like your life depends on it, cause it does. :)

I found the more focused on 'now' the easier it was to move on from 'then'..

we all have things we regret...but we can't undo them...the best thing is to ensure they never ever happen again FYMS :)

D

I guess I just come from a alcoholic family my grandma my father and mother. I seen the worse of it when I was a kid but still ended up becoming a drunk myself. Ive had 100 day ones but im just tired of it . Its exhausting being a drunk. Always thinking of the next time ill drink and hiding my intake from my girlfriend .

It is exhausting dealing with alcoholism.

What is your plan for how you will stay sober and recover? What will you do each day to accomplish that?