my 19th day sober.. my first post here.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2016
Location: UK
Posts: 1
my 19th day sober.. my first post here.
Hello everyone,
So, my first post.. I've wondered how long before I found the confidence! After reading many others posts/stories for a few weeks and seeing the support from other members; I decided today was the day. This is my first time fully sober since the age of 16 - 12 long years of drink, prescriptions & illegal substances.
I've joined, as right now I'm in Portugal for my business (which of all things is a running the bar on a boat). Feeling rather isolated at the minute, not just from the move. It's pretty much party central & I don't trust myself in social situations yet.. I spent my first 6 weeks here smoking marijuana, drinking & popping xanax all day, this on the back of a breakup left me in a pretty dark place. The forum has really helped and seeing the support of others, I felt I could open up here a little.
One thing I've noticed, is since I've been sober; I really don't want to be around people very much.. is this normal? Even a family member who lives here, I can barely stand to be around them & it makes me feel really bad. Did anybody else alienate themselves away?
Sorry for the long message, thank you for reading; I look forward to chatting with you guys
So, my first post.. I've wondered how long before I found the confidence! After reading many others posts/stories for a few weeks and seeing the support from other members; I decided today was the day. This is my first time fully sober since the age of 16 - 12 long years of drink, prescriptions & illegal substances.
I've joined, as right now I'm in Portugal for my business (which of all things is a running the bar on a boat). Feeling rather isolated at the minute, not just from the move. It's pretty much party central & I don't trust myself in social situations yet.. I spent my first 6 weeks here smoking marijuana, drinking & popping xanax all day, this on the back of a breakup left me in a pretty dark place. The forum has really helped and seeing the support of others, I felt I could open up here a little.
One thing I've noticed, is since I've been sober; I really don't want to be around people very much.. is this normal? Even a family member who lives here, I can barely stand to be around them & it makes me feel really bad. Did anybody else alienate themselves away?
Sorry for the long message, thank you for reading; I look forward to chatting with you guys
AA Member
Join Date: Mar 2016
Location: Silicon Valley
Posts: 2,983
welcome
i was 5150'd in my first year because all i did was go to meetings and not drink ... that didn't work
I had to do the 12 steps and get into service ... that did work
this is a disease of isolation and normal for me
god bless
i was 5150'd in my first year because all i did was go to meetings and not drink ... that didn't work
I had to do the 12 steps and get into service ... that did work
this is a disease of isolation and normal for me
god bless
12 Step Recovered Alcoholic
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: New Zealand
Posts: 6,613
Hi 5150,
welcome to SR.
O got sober at 22, having started drinking at 13. A rapid delcine, I didn't so much lose everything as never get anywhere in the first place. I was completely alone when I walked into AA.
I remember having trouble for quite a while getting on with earth people, but I was OK with the AA folks because they talked about things I understood and knew how I felt.
The social problem eventually came right. At about two years I landed a fantastic job in sales and though I had a few scary moments, I eventually got comfortable around others in all kinds of circumstances.
For the last few years I have been living on my boat and last year joined a rally through indonesia. I had a wonderful time and made many new friends from all walks of life. I am currently living in Malaysia, I rent a house and rent rooms out to other cruisers, and daily associate with folks at the marina working on their boats. All that social disconnectedness has completely disappeared.
Those problems were not solved by me sitting passively trying to not drink. I never had any success with that approach.
It took a lot of work and effort on my part which resulted in a change of attitude, which made it relatively easy to get on in the world, and made life an enjoyable experience for the most part. Before I did that work, I could string together days of sobrietysometimes up to three weeks, but I would always forget why I stopped and fall victim to a common delusuion that, after a dry spell, I should be ok to drink again. The obsession that this time will be different. It never was.
All the best 5150
welcome to SR.
O got sober at 22, having started drinking at 13. A rapid delcine, I didn't so much lose everything as never get anywhere in the first place. I was completely alone when I walked into AA.
I remember having trouble for quite a while getting on with earth people, but I was OK with the AA folks because they talked about things I understood and knew how I felt.
The social problem eventually came right. At about two years I landed a fantastic job in sales and though I had a few scary moments, I eventually got comfortable around others in all kinds of circumstances.
For the last few years I have been living on my boat and last year joined a rally through indonesia. I had a wonderful time and made many new friends from all walks of life. I am currently living in Malaysia, I rent a house and rent rooms out to other cruisers, and daily associate with folks at the marina working on their boats. All that social disconnectedness has completely disappeared.
Those problems were not solved by me sitting passively trying to not drink. I never had any success with that approach.
It took a lot of work and effort on my part which resulted in a change of attitude, which made it relatively easy to get on in the world, and made life an enjoyable experience for the most part. Before I did that work, I could string together days of sobrietysometimes up to three weeks, but I would always forget why I stopped and fall victim to a common delusuion that, after a dry spell, I should be ok to drink again. The obsession that this time will be different. It never was.
All the best 5150
Member
Join Date: Apr 2016
Location: northern california
Posts: 740
emotions will be all over the place hang in there. I believe isolation is not good for me even though I want to be alone. Power in numbers I need the support here and face to face hang in there we are here for you.
Member
Join Date: May 2016
Posts: 258
Welcome and congrats on 19 days! It's a great feeling, focus on that. One of my earlier attempts at sobriety, I began to realize I was not nearly as social of a person as I thought. The booze made me outgoing, by nature, I find that I'm a homebody and not super social. Plus it helps me to stay a little lonely in the early days, getting to know who I really am without the addiction running the show. SR has been a great outlet for me, and I know many here enjoy AA, being around others that are going through similar things is always helpful. You've got this.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,442
Hi and welcome 5150 
Congrats on your decision.
Deciding to be clean and sober is a pretty momentous decision.
I think it's pretty common to want to withdraw a little initially, especially if everyone around you is living in Party Central.
There must be things you can do with your free time in Portugal that don't include alcohol?
D
Congrats on your decision.
Deciding to be clean and sober is a pretty momentous decision.
I think it's pretty common to want to withdraw a little initially, especially if everyone around you is living in Party Central.
There must be things you can do with your free time in Portugal that don't include alcohol?
D
Member
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: Upper Midwest
Posts: 1,730
Your post reminded me of something I read here at SR. A newly sober SR member had a friend who said "you were more interesting when you were drinking." The SR member replied "What a coincidence. YOU were more interesting when I was still drinking."
Being sober, I am less interested in the ramblings of my former drinking buddies. Frankly, they bore me. But, fear not. There are a lot of people out there whose company you will find much more interesting.
Thank you for posting. I am glad you are here with us.
Being sober, I am less interested in the ramblings of my former drinking buddies. Frankly, they bore me. But, fear not. There are a lot of people out there whose company you will find much more interesting.
Thank you for posting. I am glad you are here with us.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2014
Location: UK
Posts: 6,902
Alcoholics drink to alleviate the feelings of their natural state: Restless, irritable and discontent. Chances are, at this stage, the drink is gone and you're sitting with those feelings, so anything that makes that worse (a party crowd in particular, pissed up, talking bull, and laughing their b******s off at nothing in particular ) is likely to be difficult to tolerate.
Thing is, recovery is more than just 'not drinking'. Recovery means finding diffrent ways to LIVE Sober. Developing personal tools for dealing with life on life's terms. Once we've been doing this for a while (so the new ways are getting instilled in us) it does start getting easier. For me, and many others, this has meant using AA or similar, as part of our plan for recovery. Others have just had their own robust plan, and taken action to stick to it. Dee has a great link on making a plan which would be worth exploring. .. http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...y-plans-2.html
My Dad has an apartment in Lagos in Portugal, and I know they party hard there. Being in the thick of things with a party boat is possibly worth reconsidering. Could you employ someone else to take it out for you and consider diffrent avenues to pursue with it than they party-party one? I know at the moment that lifestyle seems like the be-all-and-end-all, but I assure you, there is a parallel universe that you are yet to explore. One where people don't just live to get off their faces. These people might have seemed boring to you in the past (they certainly did me) but they actually know how to enjoy life 'present'. We can learn from other recovering alcoholics how to do the same.
Wishing you all the best for your recovery.
Thing is, recovery is more than just 'not drinking'. Recovery means finding diffrent ways to LIVE Sober. Developing personal tools for dealing with life on life's terms. Once we've been doing this for a while (so the new ways are getting instilled in us) it does start getting easier. For me, and many others, this has meant using AA or similar, as part of our plan for recovery. Others have just had their own robust plan, and taken action to stick to it. Dee has a great link on making a plan which would be worth exploring. .. http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...y-plans-2.html
My Dad has an apartment in Lagos in Portugal, and I know they party hard there. Being in the thick of things with a party boat is possibly worth reconsidering. Could you employ someone else to take it out for you and consider diffrent avenues to pursue with it than they party-party one? I know at the moment that lifestyle seems like the be-all-and-end-all, but I assure you, there is a parallel universe that you are yet to explore. One where people don't just live to get off their faces. These people might have seemed boring to you in the past (they certainly did me) but they actually know how to enjoy life 'present'. We can learn from other recovering alcoholics how to do the same.
Wishing you all the best for your recovery.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2016
Posts: 334
Originally Posted by 5150 
Hello everyone,
So, my first post.. I've wondered how long before I found the confidence! After reading many others posts/stories for a few weeks and seeing the support from other members; I decided today was the day. This is my first time fully sober since the age of 16 - 12 long years of drink, prescriptions & illegal substances.
I've joined, as right now I'm in Portugal for my business (which of all things is a running the bar on a boat). Feeling rather isolated at the minute, not just from the move. It's pretty much party central & I don't trust myself in social situations yet.. I spent my first 6 weeks here smoking marijuana, drinking & popping xanax all day, this on the back of a breakup left me in a pretty dark place. The forum has really helped and seeing the support of others, I felt I could open up here a little.
One thing I've noticed, is since I've been sober; I really don't want to be around people very much.. is this normal? Even a family member who lives here, I can barely stand to be around them & it makes me feel really bad. Did anybody else alienate themselves away?
Sorry for the long message, thank you for reading; I look forward to chatting with you guys
So, my first post.. I've wondered how long before I found the confidence! After reading many others posts/stories for a few weeks and seeing the support from other members; I decided today was the day. This is my first time fully sober since the age of 16 - 12 long years of drink, prescriptions & illegal substances.
I've joined, as right now I'm in Portugal for my business (which of all things is a running the bar on a boat). Feeling rather isolated at the minute, not just from the move. It's pretty much party central & I don't trust myself in social situations yet.. I spent my first 6 weeks here smoking marijuana, drinking & popping xanax all day, this on the back of a breakup left me in a pretty dark place. The forum has really helped and seeing the support of others, I felt I could open up here a little.
One thing I've noticed, is since I've been sober; I really don't want to be around people very much.. is this normal? Even a family member who lives here, I can barely stand to be around them & it makes me feel really bad. Did anybody else alienate themselves away?
Sorry for the long message, thank you for reading; I look forward to chatting with you guys
Magsie
Join Date: Oct 2013
Location: UK
Posts: 26,681
Hi 5150 and welcome to SR.
When I first stopped drinking my emotions were all over the place. It took time to learn how to live and have a life without alcohol.
So if you feel like time out for yourself, enjoy it.
When I first stopped drinking my emotions were all over the place. It took time to learn how to live and have a life without alcohol.
So if you feel like time out for yourself, enjoy it.
Do your best
Join Date: Aug 2014
Posts: 67,047
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2016
Location: UK
Posts: 1
Evening guys, hope you're all doing well today.
Thank you so much for each & every message; it really means a lot that you took the time to share your experiences.
Mind has been all over the place today, something akin to ADD! So when I'm on a PC & not my iPad, I'll reply more coherently to members..
Berrybean & Soberwolf, thank you for the links, I'm going to check them out tonight Whilst relaxing with some music.
JOJAY - that's exactly how I feel at the minute, I'm taking it in stride though and the script brings some comfort. I'll never be far from SR at the moment!
Thank you to everyone again, I will be back tomorrow!
Luke x
Thank you so much for each & every message; it really means a lot that you took the time to share your experiences.
Mind has been all over the place today, something akin to ADD! So when I'm on a PC & not my iPad, I'll reply more coherently to members..
Berrybean & Soberwolf, thank you for the links, I'm going to check them out tonight Whilst relaxing with some music.
JOJAY - that's exactly how I feel at the minute, I'm taking it in stride though and the script brings some comfort. I'll never be far from SR at the moment!
Thank you to everyone again, I will be back tomorrow!
Luke x
Community Greeter
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Upstate New York
Posts: 51,564
Great to meet you, 5150. Sorry I missed your entrance yesterday.
I guess it's your 20th day. That's something to be so proud of, after drinking 12 yrs. As for not being comfortable around others, I was that way for a couple months. I don't know if it's common, but I wanted to focus on myself & getting well. People irritated me at that time. I got over it though. Much more sociable now that I've done some healing.
I guess it's your 20th day. That's something to be so proud of, after drinking 12 yrs. As for not being comfortable around others, I was that way for a couple months. I don't know if it's common, but I wanted to focus on myself & getting well. People irritated me at that time. I got over it though. Much more sociable now that I've done some healing.
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