dan16

Hi,

I'm approaching 8 months since my last drink but still feel far from 100%. I went to the Dr but didn't meet the criteria for "clinical" depression or anxiety. I feel ok some days but on others really down or anxious, also stressed and a bit of depersonalisation. It's like a cycle of feelings/emotions and they're beginning to ware me out. Anyone else experienced the same at around 6 to 8 months? Could it be paws

dan16

Correction, im approaching 7 months not 8

sugarbear1

Other than not drinking, what are you doing for your sobriety?

August252015

PAWS - from very acute in the beginning, is one way to describe the process of healing, in all ways. Many doctors have explained (mine have to me) that our bodies and minds need a year, even two (often the latter moreso for women) to really be "sober."

Have you read info such as this -
https://digital-dharma.net/post-acut...r-immediately/

Also- you don't mention what you are doing for a program. Exercise really helps me- it used to before I got severely alcoholic, and I am running again to keep getting physically and mentally fit both. Are you doing AA or another program (a lot of folks around here use AVRT and such)? Meeting new people to have a growing group of sober friends? All of this can help with our feelings of anxiety, mild (non-clinical) levels of depression, general misfit- and unhappiness.

I would suggest trying the above, trying to keep growing as your body keeps changing.

I am at 5mo on Thu and gotta keep going to see where I'm headed and how I will feel in all areas!

You can do it.

Soberandhealthy

Hi, congratulations! exercising helps a lot also be kind with yourself, maybe life will suck either way but def better to be sober.

gettingsmarter

I'll second the exercise. If its safe for you, cardio has made a huge difference for me.

ElleDee

I was just going to post what August said... it can take a while to feel better mentally. I'm going through some "blues" or depression as well and a friend on here recently told me the same thing. It can take a good year to feel normal again (for some of us anyway).

Soberwolf

I had spots like this throughout my first year things will get better if not maybe get a Dr appointment

Irnldy001

I understand, I really do.
My sober date is Jan 8 2015. So I have about a year and a half of not drinking. There were times in early sobriety where I felt quite good. I did notice over time that I wasn't become better socially, that my sleep was quite off and difficult, and that my anxiety/panic issues were awful.
I also experience exactly what you say - a sort of dissasociation where I can be in the same room as 10 or 100 people and still be alone inside my head.
I was hardcore into AA for some time. I still have a sponsor and I get to meeting about 2-4 times a week.
What came alive for me finally were a few things.
1) I was drinking to cover some things that were already there
2) Drinking allowed me to avoid them, didn't cure them
3) Without drinking, there they were again, and now I could deal with them or not

I have always had a hard time socially. I'm awkward, and I often judge every word as it comes out of my mouth. I also have what I call "manias" - things I did long before I drank.
I would manically clean the house until exhausted.
I would manically rid the house of what I thought was useless garbage - used to get quite a high off of 'decluttering'
I would restrict food (an issue unto itself)
I would loop old bad memories through my head

As I got more sober time under my belt, my dissasociation actually got worse to the point where I felt I lived in a bubble.
The second thing that happenned was that without even thinking about it I began restricting food again - horribly so. My weight dropped 20 pounds quickly. I was 'pleased' with the results.
And on and on it went.
I had just replaced the drinking with all that came before it.

I am now in the early stages of dealing with my other issues. I am working with an addictions counsellor who specializes in dual diagnosis (alcoholism/anorexia for me). I have come to recognize that alcohol was just one thing on a list, so AA alone was never going to be all that I needed.
I use boards like this one.
I am slowly getting on my feet. I allowed myself to gain three pounds over the last month. That was a huge step. I have a list of goals that Ive set with my counsellor - slowly getting through them.
I am reconnecting with a few people that I used to call dear friends to see what happens.
I play guitar
I read books.
I watch tv/movies

But most important I am becoming more aware of what is going on inside this infernal brain of mine. While I have no urge to drink, my other manias have obviously come out. So it appears many parts of me need to be dealt with.
I hope my experience can help, even if just a bit.

january161992

are you asking for help?

meetings
sponsor
steps
service
higher power

dan16

Thanks for replying. I was eating well and walking daily until a few months ago when I got evicted because my landlady heeded the house i was renting for her parents. I then lived at my parents for a month or so until I got the keys to my new house a couple of weeks ago. With all the stress of moving I haven't done much excersise or maintained a healthy diet, I also started smoking again! However I have an induction at the local gym tomorrow.

I don't have any other help and really struggle socially, even when I was drinking.

fred59

Smart Recovery has a tool chest of recovery exercises that could be beneficial check there website out you do not have to buy anything it is in pdf format
Good diet,exercise fresh air get moving be physical.

Aellyce

Other than the responses above, dan, do you think that perhaps your own expectation get in the way? I mean, instead of experiencing the unfolding benefits of sobriety, perhaps you set up agendas for yourself, how it should be in this period, and then get frustrated because what you actually experience does not fit the expectations? Just a thought...

madgirl

Moving like that is stressful, so that anxiety is not just in your head (I think) - sobriety at least offers clarity to deal with it head on.

Berrybean

Maybe it's time to reach out, get some help, and start doing some recovery work. I hit a real black spot 6 odd months in, and that's when I finally realised that I needed to engage in a program of recovery fully (before I guessed that I wasn't alcoholic 'enough' to need all that stuff). I know there have been unexpected life issues to deal with, but yiu know what? There always are. Recovery is all about learning new and diffrent ways of dealing with life on life's terms, and equipping myself with other tools that help me get through tough days (and ones that just feel tough) without needing to reach for a drink to find relief.

I'm sure you have a million and 2 reasons why you can't possibly go along to AA, and get help from other recovering alcoholics, and use those 12-steps to bring some relief. Chances are that most of them are just excuses. Why not just give it a go today?