FaithfulAndFree

Starting over for the millionth time. Today is filled with depression, self hatred and tons of anxiety. I feel like my heart is about to bust out of my chest. Any kind words will help.

ScottFromWI

Welcome back F&F! Sorry you are having a rough go of it. Glad you are here....do you think you might need any medical intervention with your detox? Better to be safe than sorry.

REsoberALITY

Hello and welcome. Wishing you lots of patience and strength today. It will pass... Just hold on tight and take it one hour, minute and second at a time. We are pulling for you.

FaithfulAndFree

Thank you for responding. I am scheduling an appointment with a psychotherapist tomorrow. I've tried evaluating my plan over and over thinking that it was external influences that made me vulnerable. I now feel more than ever that my issues are internal. While I don't think there are any mental illnesses involved, I definitely recognize that there are things that I believe need to be brought up and hashed out. I didn't start abusing alcohol until the death of a very close relative. I'm wiling to start from there and do the work in order to understand the feelings and eradicate some of them.

Dee74

Welcome back FaithfulandFree

Be gentle with yourself for a few days - eat well, keep hydrated - do see a Dr if you feel concerned about your health at any time...

Did you have any kind of recovery plan to follow last time? I really recommend that

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...ery-plans.html

I know lasting change is possible because I live that change everyday and I see it in so many others here as well

I really believe you can too F&F

D

least

I started over so many times, but I didn't give up. Never give up! Keep trying til you get it right!

FaithfulAndFree

@Dee - Thanks, I just printed out the first two links

@least - I know I can do it although the beginning is pretty hard , thanks

D122y

Ff,

You only fail when you quit trying.

thomas11

Hi F&F, if you're in the thick of it (withdrawal wise), first priority is to get through that phase healthy. I found trying to remain calm and keeping my mind occupied helped. Also, as hard as it may be, some food will help a lot. I like things like mac and cheese and mashed potatoes...and some milk. Easy on the stomach and gets some nutrition going. Rooting for ya!

strategery

Very glad to see you back, FF!

The good thing is that you're recognizing that it is an internal battle, so you know what needs to be worked on to support your recovery.

Have you thought of adding additional tools to your plan, such as meetings or AVRT?

FaithfulAndFree

Thanks Strategery.... Your kind words and checking on me don't go unnoticed. I've done AVRT and it worked quite impressively. The longest I've went sober was thanks to it. I loved it and don't think that my regressions were due to it not working. I stopped and I relapsed. It's definitely what I plan to work this time around.

FaithfulAndFree

I know that the beginning is hard, I've been here plenty times before and everytime feels HORRIBLE. I know that this will pass. I truly appreciate you rooting for me. It means a lot.