The irony (being wide awake and living) of not being drunk all day
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Join Date: Nov 2014
Posts: 403
The irony (being wide awake and living) of not being drunk all day
Years ago, before I starting hitting the bottle hard, I'd get up and plan lots of fun activities for my children. I'd find things free or cheap things to do in the city, we'd go on day trips, to the beach, etc. Other times, we'd put down the cash and go to carnivals, amusement parks, etc. The last time I was moderately sober (drinking hard only at night, but never day drinking), we had a season pass to the amusement park in town. I have so many fond memories of us just getting up, piling into the car and spending the day there.
FF three years later. I've done a lot of damage to the family. They don't even want to be around me. Now I'm back to looking at things to do every day. There's been festival after festival. Two ironies:
The kids are older and uninterested in parts of the festival
When I think festival, I think I should be getting a drink or two and walk around, enjoying the buzz (I hope this doesn't trigger anyone) and enjoying my kids.
For many years, I woke up with big plans, but the vodka numbed me and before long, I couldn't be bothered with anything.
As it is, I am very aesthetically inclined and have been complimented on my choices of decor over the years. My Meyer-Briggs always says I should have been an interior decorator. We moved in over a year ago and I've not really organized this house, nor made it look good (despite having nice furniture). It was "more fun" to sit on the couch, review FB again and again. and avoid the big projects. Those projects have taken a couple days, but my living space feels so much different.
Just sort of venting and reflecting.
FF three years later. I've done a lot of damage to the family. They don't even want to be around me. Now I'm back to looking at things to do every day. There's been festival after festival. Two ironies:
The kids are older and uninterested in parts of the festival
When I think festival, I think I should be getting a drink or two and walk around, enjoying the buzz (I hope this doesn't trigger anyone) and enjoying my kids.
For many years, I woke up with big plans, but the vodka numbed me and before long, I couldn't be bothered with anything.
As it is, I am very aesthetically inclined and have been complimented on my choices of decor over the years. My Meyer-Briggs always says I should have been an interior decorator. We moved in over a year ago and I've not really organized this house, nor made it look good (despite having nice furniture). It was "more fun" to sit on the couch, review FB again and again. and avoid the big projects. Those projects have taken a couple days, but my living space feels so much different.
Just sort of venting and reflecting.
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Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,416
Hi notgonnastoptry 
I remember when I got sober I wanted to fix everything instantly and live a rich full life from every second onwards...but it didn't work out like that. I realised I had a lot of damaged relationships, and I also realised that I was damaged too.
I had to settle for 'steady as she goes' rather than 'full steam ahead' but I think that was actually better in a way?
My alcoholic way was all or nothing - I was the bull who wrecked a lot of china shops...
Be kind and gentle to yourself - stay sober and find your passion again, let yourself heal...
and more often than not, you'll find things fall into place behind that, eventually
D
I remember when I got sober I wanted to fix everything instantly and live a rich full life from every second onwards...but it didn't work out like that. I realised I had a lot of damaged relationships, and I also realised that I was damaged too.
I had to settle for 'steady as she goes' rather than 'full steam ahead' but I think that was actually better in a way?
My alcoholic way was all or nothing - I was the bull who wrecked a lot of china shops...
Be kind and gentle to yourself - stay sober and find your passion again, let yourself heal...
and more often than not, you'll find things fall into place behind that, eventually
D
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