Notices

Progession not a destination

Old 07-16-2016, 05:06 AM
  # 1 (permalink)  
A Day at a Time
Thread Starter
 
MIRecovery's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: Grand Rapids MI
Posts: 6,435
Progession not a destination

I think the single biggest misconception about alcoholism is you have to be a late stage alcoholic to be suffering from alcoholism. I totally disagree with this concept. Alcoholism starts long long before you are drinking 750 ml per day and alcohol is seriously impacting your life. It is what alcohol does for us, it is how it completes us, it is our lack of control, it is the serenity that we feel that determines if we are alcoholic.

The little old lady who drinks a little too much wine every night, the 20 year old who loves to get out of control on weekend, the guy who lives under a bridge and pan handles for his next drink all suffer from exactly the same thing. It is called alcoholism with the only difference being where on the continuum they find themselves.

One thing is for certain it only gets worse
MIRecovery is offline  
Old 07-16-2016, 05:11 AM
  # 2 (permalink)  
Member
 
FreeOwl's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2014
Posts: 8,637
Yep.

When I was 14 years old, I awoke in my underwear in my mom's basement, confused and befuddled and covered in my own vomit.

Assuring her that "everything was FINE", I angrily stormed off to bed and passed out.

I awoke again several hours later to the police and my father who'd driven from 8 hours away.

It was the first time I'd been drunk.

I kept on drinking for another 25 years.

It didn't get to an obvious daily 'problem' for about 20 of those years.... but along the way there were plenty of times that alcohol was clearly a negative impact to my life. Arrests. DUIs. Relationship troubles. Hangovers. So. Many. Hangovers. Impairment of judgement. Debt. So. Much. Debt. So many missed occasions and moments. So much time wasted. So many calories. So much liver strain.... so much health impact......

It gets worse..... and gradually worse.... and bit by bit worse.... until one day, there is a tipping point and things accelerate.

Good news though..... embrace sobriety and it gets better.... and gradually better... and better.... until one day there is a tipping point and things are absolutely fantastic.

FreeOwl is offline  
Old 07-16-2016, 05:21 AM
  # 3 (permalink)  
~sb
 
sugarbear1's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: MD
Posts: 15,951
Part of my problem was that I had to be really ready to change and to want to stop and stay stopped; I had to lose everything (almost), mostly I lost me.
sugarbear1 is offline  
Old 07-16-2016, 05:26 AM
  # 4 (permalink)  
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Jun 2016
Location: Inglind
Posts: 610
.
fripfrop is offline  
Old 07-16-2016, 05:28 AM
  # 5 (permalink)  
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Jun 2016
Location: Inglind
Posts: 610
Originally Posted by MIRecovery View Post
I think the single biggest misconception about alcoholism is you have to be a late stage alcoholic to be suffering from alcoholism. I totally disagree with this concept. Alcoholism starts long long before you are drinking 750 ml per day and alcohol is seriously impacting your life. It is what alcohol does for us, it is how it completes us, it is our lack of control, it is the serenity that we feel that determines if we are alcoholic.

The little old lady who drinks a little too much wine every night, the 20 year old who loves to get out of control on weekend, the guy who lives under a bridge and pan handles for his next drink all suffer from exactly the same thing. It is called alcoholism with the only difference being where on the continuum they find themselves.

One thing is for certain it only gets worse
I waited until it was last chance saloon to give up..I could have saved so much time and misery, if I had realised what you have said, was true, years ago
fripfrop is offline  
Old 07-16-2016, 05:34 AM
  # 6 (permalink)  
Member
 
soberclover's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: Georgia
Posts: 3,062
This reminded me how true the reality is that alcoholism is a progressive disease. I relapsed after being clean and sober for 13 years and started drinking again. I basically picked up where I left off and things in my life got MUCH worse. Earlier when I was drinking I just became drunk and mouthy. When I relapsed I became a blackout drinker with terrible consequences.

I had heard people in the meetings say this type of thing and I didn't relate as I believed I had gotten the message and it would never happen to me. I fooled myself thinking I was "normal" again. I cannot live in the past and wish this hadn't happened, but I do sometimes wish that I didn't have to live with the consequences today of the past actions during active drinking.
soberclover is offline  
Old 07-16-2016, 12:12 PM
  # 7 (permalink)  
A Day at a Time
Thread Starter
 
MIRecovery's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: Grand Rapids MI
Posts: 6,435
I think this whole topic makes a lot of people nervous especially those not serious about sobriety. I know when I was drinking I wanted to compare myself. I wasn't as bad as so and so, I never got a dui, I had a job, a wife, a house so that meant I wasn't an alcoholic. In reality all it meant was I had travelled down that road far enough. I honestly believe I was an alcoholic before I drank. As a child fear ruled my life, I was always looking for an escape and i was so insecure in who I was then I dicovered drugs and alcohol and they worked for a while until they turned in me
MIRecovery is offline  
Old 07-16-2016, 12:16 PM
  # 8 (permalink)  
Member
 
tomsteve's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: northern michigan. not the U.P.
Posts: 15,281
Originally Posted by MIRecovery View Post
I think this whole topic makes a lot of people nervous especially those not serious about sobriety. I know when I was drinking I wanted to compare myself. I wasn't as bad as so and so, I never got a dui, I had a job, a wife, a house so that meant I wasn't an alcoholic.
i can relate to that! i still remember years ago my sons mom gripin about me going for bread. i went to the bar, got knee walkin drunk, got the bread, and came home. she was quite furious and said my dinking was out of hand.
"but honey, i got the bread! john went to get bread, ended up in Chicago for 3 days, and didn't bring the bread home!"
tomsteve is offline  
Old 07-17-2016, 07:30 AM
  # 9 (permalink)  
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Jun 2016
Location: Inglind
Posts: 610
Originally Posted by MIRecovery View Post
I think this whole topic makes a lot of people nervous especially those not serious about sobriety. I know when I was drinking I wanted to compare myself. I wasn't as bad as so and so
This was me! Always thinking "I'm not as bad as such and such" And "such and such is worse than me and they are still alive"
Gradually, all these "and they are still alive" examples I used to sooth myself with, so I couls carry on drinking, died one by one
In the end, I couldn't find anyone who was worse than me apart from dying end-stagers!
But that particular thought, gave me a lot of milage before that happened though
And yes, me too, I think, always had the emotional make-up to become addicted to something.
fripfrop is offline  
Old 07-17-2016, 08:16 AM
  # 10 (permalink)  
Member
 
Jsbodhi's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2014
Location: Canada
Posts: 7,837
Really good thread xo
Jsbodhi is offline  
Old 07-17-2016, 08:22 AM
  # 11 (permalink)  
Member
 
Join Date: Jul 2010
Posts: 10,912
Great shares! My experience has been the same regarding denied progression. The often unfortunate feature of the course of alcoholism/addiction is that we tend to only see and acknowledge it in retrospect. I, too, ended up a 750 ml liquor drinker (or more) a day, although towards the end and during my relapse, I was never able to drink every day because it made me too sick, a sign how compromised my system had become.

But back in time, I never seemed to worry about the 14-16 old myself, who often spent the second 2/3 of parties sick in the bathroom from drinking too much too fast... it "only" happened every other weekend after all, and while my parents regularly expressed concern about my going home from parties smelling of booze, don't the coolest teens try edgy things?

Then, in my 20's, I rarely drank - maybe once every other month? Maybe because I was busy swinging between my eating disorder and excessive, exhausting working/studying. Again, people around me expressed concerns, but what do I care about others' opinions?

Then I had a couple years intense "love affair" with psychedelics in my late 20's. Those are not addictive and expand our mental capacities, right?

Then, in my early 30's I became the "lady who drinks a little too much wine every night" (or day)... but oh well, it helped me sleep and put me in a good mood. Except when it did not.

On and on and on, until that off/on 750 ml (or more) spirit habit, where I finally fully recognized and acknowledged my addiction(s), but then came the aforementioned mechanism: I still have my job, could even get a better job, did not alienate my family (much), I am only an introvert who likes to be alone and do what I love... In my case, I think that I actually avoided comparing myself to anyone else, at all cost. I am myself, I am an individual, an individualist so to speak.... I will make all this work in my own way. Scary experiences, warnings, even health issues would not hold me back.

I feel that my first attempt at long-term sobriety (lasted a bit over 2 years) eventually failed (I relapsed) because, while I was able to progress in my recovery, I still mostly operated from that individualism and "terminal uniqueness". I still wanted too much in too many areas. Right now, in this second run, this is what I am trying to change but it's far from easy, having to completely turn over and rearrange my core beliefs and strategies.

Again, great post MIR, thank you.
Aellyce is offline  
Old 07-17-2016, 09:01 AM
  # 12 (permalink)  
Member
 
Zebra1275's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2009
Posts: 14,836
One thing I discovered is that it is hard to see the progression of alcoholism, when you are stuck in the middle of it.
Zebra1275 is offline  
Old 07-17-2016, 09:12 AM
  # 13 (permalink)  
Member
 
DG0409's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2013
Posts: 5,439
I agree that I was definitely alcoholic from the very beginning. I can remember drinking to get drunk from the very beginning and waking up so sick and miserable, just wanting to repeat the whole thing as soon as possible.

At some point, I started using the terminology 'alcoholic' to describe myself, but I never thought of that label as a bad thing. I always thought of myself as a functioning alcoholic, but towards the end, I was becoming much less functional, but had just failed to notice. I could still check the boxes- job, car, relationship, etc. But things were going down hill fast.
DG0409 is offline  

Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 
Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off




All times are GMT -7. The time now is 06:20 PM.