The ying and the yang, of life.
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The ying and the yang, of life.
Long post warning.
Thursday I accomplished something fairly significant by passing my exams, and was very happy. I cleared my schedule Friday (yesterday) to just relax and enjoy a little downtime. I enjoyed every minute of it. Back when I was drinking, I would have poured my first drink around noon and I would not have stopped until Saturday night, then start the healing process on Sunday. I even thought about it yesterday, there was absolutely nothing stopping me, and I was a reward drinker. Couldn't do it. Couldn't bring myself to drink. Didn't want to. So something good has obviously occurred. I am thankful for that.
On the other hand, my father went in for an MRI on his neck recently and found out he needs surgery asap. He has two vertebrae in his neck that are encroaching on his spinal column. The neurologist told him he doesn't want him lifting anything heavier than a pencil, and if he were to get into a fender bender, he could die. It would kill him. He also said if he does NOT have sugery, he will be paralyzed from the shoulder down in 6 months to a year. His hands are already numb. So I feel bad for him. He just turned 73. Also, if you follow my posts you know my mother is a problem. Her drinking has escalated which is totally out of character for her. She's such a control freak, she really never gets drunk. Now she gets drunk a couple times a week, and she's a mean drunk.
So that's what's going on, some good and some bad. Its just life. The ying and the yang. Chin up, eyes forward, move on.
Thursday I accomplished something fairly significant by passing my exams, and was very happy. I cleared my schedule Friday (yesterday) to just relax and enjoy a little downtime. I enjoyed every minute of it. Back when I was drinking, I would have poured my first drink around noon and I would not have stopped until Saturday night, then start the healing process on Sunday. I even thought about it yesterday, there was absolutely nothing stopping me, and I was a reward drinker. Couldn't do it. Couldn't bring myself to drink. Didn't want to. So something good has obviously occurred. I am thankful for that.
On the other hand, my father went in for an MRI on his neck recently and found out he needs surgery asap. He has two vertebrae in his neck that are encroaching on his spinal column. The neurologist told him he doesn't want him lifting anything heavier than a pencil, and if he were to get into a fender bender, he could die. It would kill him. He also said if he does NOT have sugery, he will be paralyzed from the shoulder down in 6 months to a year. His hands are already numb. So I feel bad for him. He just turned 73. Also, if you follow my posts you know my mother is a problem. Her drinking has escalated which is totally out of character for her. She's such a control freak, she really never gets drunk. Now she gets drunk a couple times a week, and she's a mean drunk.
So that's what's going on, some good and some bad. Its just life. The ying and the yang. Chin up, eyes forward, move on.
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Join Date: Oct 2013
Posts: 11,417
Congrats on passing your exam Jeff!
I'm sorry to hear about your parents, but they are older and stuff happens.
The mean drunk thing is something you can't stop, but you can step back it from
emotionally as much as possible.
What about telling your mother when she's sober and alone
that you will not / cannot be around her or your dad when she's using?
Sometimes honesty may not change anything, but gives you an out in a bad situation.
My mother was a very mean drunk, and boy it did hurt and was very
instrumental to my own choice to use alcohol.
I'm sorry to hear about your parents, but they are older and stuff happens.
The mean drunk thing is something you can't stop, but you can step back it from
emotionally as much as possible.
What about telling your mother when she's sober and alone
that you will not / cannot be around her or your dad when she's using?
Sometimes honesty may not change anything, but gives you an out in a bad situation.
My mother was a very mean drunk, and boy it did hurt and was very
instrumental to my own choice to use alcohol.
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Join Date: Feb 2015
Location: MN
Posts: 8,704
Originally Posted by Hawkeye13 
Congrats on passing your exam Jeff!
I'm sorry to hear about your parents, but they are older and stuff happens.
The mean drunk thing is something you can't stop, but you can step back it from
emotionally as much as possible.
What about telling your mother when she's sober and alone
that you will not / cannot be around her or your dad when she's using?
Sometimes honesty may not change anything, but gives you an out in a bad situation.
My mother was a very mean drunk, and boy it did hurt and was very
instrumental to my own choice to use alcohol.
I'm sorry to hear about your parents, but they are older and stuff happens.
The mean drunk thing is something you can't stop, but you can step back it from
emotionally as much as possible.
What about telling your mother when she's sober and alone
that you will not / cannot be around her or your dad when she's using?
Sometimes honesty may not change anything, but gives you an out in a bad situation.
My mother was a very mean drunk, and boy it did hurt and was very
instrumental to my own choice to use alcohol.
I am excited about working in real estate. I have 2 areas I want to specialize in when representing the firm.
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Join Date: Feb 2015
Location: MN
Posts: 8,704
This thread has not gotten much action, and I'm not looking for attention, but something hit me very hard this afternoon. I had overwhelming sadness come over me. We have a huge musicfest going on in out hometown and the weather is nice. I see "action" everywhere. Not only out my windows, but also on facebook, everyone is doing something. I am at home watching some internet videos that interest me. Last year I was in a wheelchair. The thought of my Dad dying or being paralyzed (soon) has really started to bother me, and the thought of spending a 3rd summer being a loser also hit home. I had an overwhelming feeling of inadequacy come over me. It's just not good. Not going to drink, but it would be pretty easy to escape with a nice drunken episode.
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Join Date: Jan 2016
Posts: 1,462
Thomas,
I'm close to two weeks sober. I'm with ya on living a boring life. I've developed a nice safe routine that's keeping me out of trouble. No way I could jump out now and handle a concert. I really try not to focus on what I'm missing just on what I'm gaining, Sobriety and that has to be our priority. Stay positive my friend. I spent a bunch of time being angry at not drinking. We need to be happy
I'm close to two weeks sober. I'm with ya on living a boring life. I've developed a nice safe routine that's keeping me out of trouble. No way I could jump out now and handle a concert. I really try not to focus on what I'm missing just on what I'm gaining, Sobriety and that has to be our priority. Stay positive my friend. I spent a bunch of time being angry at not drinking. We need to be happy
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Join Date: Oct 2013
Posts: 11,417
You're not a loser--didn't you pass your exams, get a job offer, and have gotten your physical health back on track along with continued sobriety?
That doesn't sound like loser material to me--
But I get the feeling down and depressed cycle, as I'm in one myself.
Seems like it's been going around.
Keep doing what you're doing because it is working.
What's up with the gym lately?
I went and busted my tail a few days in a row and that seemed to help.
The situation with your parents is very difficult--don't underestimate that.
You love them but can't fix this, and that isn't easy for you because
you like to fix things--so do I--takes one to know one
That doesn't sound like loser material to me--
But I get the feeling down and depressed cycle, as I'm in one myself.
Seems like it's been going around.
Keep doing what you're doing because it is working.
What's up with the gym lately?
I went and busted my tail a few days in a row and that seemed to help.
The situation with your parents is very difficult--don't underestimate that.
You love them but can't fix this, and that isn't easy for you because
you like to fix things--so do I--takes one to know one
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Join Date: May 2016
Location: MI
Posts: 626
Hang in there buddy. One day at time as far as everything goes.... Sobriety, The health issues, the things we feel we're missing out on, family, even the new job coming, we have to take it all in stride. You're still doing great. Wishing you all the best tonight.
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Join Date: Oct 2013
Location: Midwest
Posts: 4,860
Jeff, you've had some solid personal accomplishments lately. That's something to be proud of.
It's a sunny Saturday for many of us -- at least many in the U.S. -- and like many, I've been gone all day. SR has its slow days and I see this was one of them.
Of greater concern is this:
I'm not sure what it's going to take for you to stop romanticizing alcohol, Jeff. I'm glad that you're not going to drink, but am concerned that it continues to hold appeal to you as a way to deal with tougher aspects of life.
It's a sunny Saturday for many of us -- at least many in the U.S. -- and like many, I've been gone all day. SR has its slow days and I see this was one of them.
Of greater concern is this:
Originally Posted by thomas11
Not going to drink, but it would be pretty easy to escape with a nice drunken episode.
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Join Date: Feb 2015
Location: MN
Posts: 8,704
Originally Posted by Hawkeye13
You're not a loser--didn't you pass your exams, get a job offer, and have gotten your physical health back on track along with continued sobriety?
That doesn't sound like loser material to me--
But I get the feeling down and depressed cycle, as I'm in one myself.
Seems like it's been going around.
Keep doing what you're doing because it is working.
What's up with the gym lately?
I went and busted my tail a few days in a row and that seemed to help.
The situation with your parents is very difficult--don't underestimate that.
You love them but can't fix this, and that isn't easy for you because
you like to fix things--so do I--takes one to know one
That doesn't sound like loser material to me--
But I get the feeling down and depressed cycle, as I'm in one myself.
Seems like it's been going around.
Keep doing what you're doing because it is working.
What's up with the gym lately?
I went and busted my tail a few days in a row and that seemed to help.
The situation with your parents is very difficult--don't underestimate that.
You love them but can't fix this, and that isn't easy for you because
you like to fix things--so do I--takes one to know one
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Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,380
Prayers for your Dad Jeff.
The thing is - worrying about this, although natural, is really counter productive.
Worry will not change the outcome.
The overwhelming likelihood is your Dad will have the surgery and be fine.
There's no amount of drink that can take that fear and worry away.
This is a learning opportunity for you Jeff - I reckon you'll find you're more capable than you ever thought possible
D
The thing is - worrying about this, although natural, is really counter productive.
Worry will not change the outcome.
The overwhelming likelihood is your Dad will have the surgery and be fine.
There's no amount of drink that can take that fear and worry away.
This is a learning opportunity for you Jeff - I reckon you'll find you're more capable than you ever thought possible
D
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