blink926

So here I am, almost drunk and I feel helpless. I know I have a problem. I mean, when I wake up and say "I am not going to drink today" but find myself slowly justifying it over the course of the day and while on my way home it seems like an excellent idea, so I stop by the gas station and get beer, there is obviously a problem. I know all of you on here are probably past where I am and on the way to recovery but I am stuck. I feel stuck between wanting to stop drinking and justifying why I still can and should. Obviously I wouldn't be here if I didn't think I had a problem. So this is my first step. I'm assuming y'all have probably been in my shoes. What did you do to overcome this? My drinking habits are at least 5 nights a week, 7-12 or more beers per night. I am 37 and I REALLY want to overcome this. I just need help and support and no criticism.

Mattq2

Blink
Your story could be my story. I have been exactly where you are. I can only say that day one is where we all start. I changed my route home so I didn't pass that gas station on the way home. The site is so helpful. Read everything you can. Awesome people here and no way you will get critized here. You'll only get great help and support.

blink926

Thank you so much. It's good to know that I'm not alone and there is hope.

ScottFromWI

Welcome to SR Blink. Many of us have been there before and there is a way out.

The first step is accepting your addiction. By that I mean accepting that even one drink is never an option. Some of us needed help doing that so that's where things like meetings, therapy, counseling, rehab, etc come in. Have you ever tried any of those before?

Mags1

Hi blink, welcome to SR.
For years I tried to regulate my drinking and it worked for a day or two, sometimes even a week then I thought I'd reward myself with a drink. Not that I needed an excuse.

Stopping drinking wasn't an option so I didn't. Even when I knew my husband was at the end of his tether with me, I didn't stop! He called me a drunken bum once. It really hurt but it didn't stop me....I needed some consolation!

When he left me I looked at myself for the first time in years......I didn't like me....I didn't like the power booze had on me...I stopped drinking.

Then I had to figure out how to not drink, since it was second nature. I couldn't think of my life without drink. But I'd decided and there was no going back.

That's where recovery comes in to it. My brain was so used to having its own way for its addiction, I needed to retrain it not to want drink.

You can do this if you really want it enough, Blink. Just a day at a time and baby steps. And for me SR. Been a great inspiration with like minded people who understand.

And there is a life without alcohol. A better life!

ToBeHappier

Hi, Blink. I can totally relate to your post. Trying to get over that hump too because I know, in my case that it isn't a sustainable lifestyle. My consequences either are, or soon will be too scary. I don't need a crystal ball to see how my story will end if I continue on my downward path. The reality of it is scaring me sober. Plus I really miss my pre-drinking days that were filled with life and joy rather than shame and fear. I really want to get back to that place. Don't give up!

MariahGayle

Glad you are here Blink, you will find much support & encouragement here.

REsoberALITY

Hey blink, welcome and I'm glad you're here.

I understand exactly where you are right now. I'm just a few years older than you and it sounds like you're in the very place I was just a little less than a year ago now.

I was more scared to stop drinking than I was to stop by various stores on my routes home to grab what I thought had always been able to get me through best. I knew for quiet a long time prior to that, this was not a simple problem anymore, it was a major one. It sounds like you might be in that same place now. Yes, you've made a step now. You're here, you're admitting to more than yourself that you know you have a problem and that it just can't continue like this.

I'm here to tell you, this CAN be done. There are many people here who will tell you the very same thing. It's not easy and as I said, the thought of quitting is probably very scary at the moment. But you can do THIS. it takes patience, it takes some time and it takes you wanting to quit. I truly hope you are ready now.

Keep posting and reading as much as you can here. You can learn so much to help you start this journey and get Great support along the way.

Set that beer down and get some rest. Tomorrow can be your Day 1!

Wishing you the best!

ScaredAlone

Hi Mags. I hope you don't mind me asking, but did your marriage recover?

BarOwnersSon

Hey Blink, definitely no criticism here. It's strange isn't it? You wake up so convinced that you never want to feel that way again, full of confidence and hope. And then the day wears on you and you're a completely different person in the afternoon. I can't tell you how many times I replayed that tape, over and over. I think that you have to finally reach the end of the line and want sobriety more than you want that beer. More than you want the buzz that those first few beers brings each day. I'm still early in my sobriety, after 30+ years of drinking, but I tell myself every day that I will never drink again, and I'm absolutely convinced that I won't. It's not an option anymore. I can tell you without question as I sit here sipping on my coffee, starting Day 13, the view in the morning is much sweeter. I wish you the best and keep on posting!

OfEpiphany

you're justifying because you are addicted to alcohol

Nonsensical

That's how I drank when I was 37, too.

When I was 47 I would drink 7-12 beers and 375-750 ml of whiskey. I would wake up on the couch still drunk and sneak a beer before my wife woke up. Sometimes on my way to work I'd stop for breakfast and a bloody Mary. Or two. I might pick up a drink or 2 at lunch time to keep the edge off. Then after work I'd grab some more beer and another fifth.

I REALLY wanted to stop when I was 37, but I didn't. I hope you can learn from my mistakes.

Welcome to SR.

Best of Luck on Your Journey.

Jim1958

Welcome Blink. I used to do the same thing, a 12 pack of tall boys on the way home. But it was a poor life, and the hangovers were terrible. This went on for years, and I tried to stop only to start again. I would stop through the week, stop for 30 days, you name it. But I always relapsed. All I can tell you is I only began to make progress when I began to ask myself why I was drinking. The mental issues behind the drinking were the keys for me. Once I understood my problems I was able to begin to solve them without alcohol. I have had a long and difficult journey. Be thankful you are still a young man. Take steps now. I wish I had when I was your age. But I was lost, and unable to help myself. SR is a great resource. Log in here when you want to drink. It helps. Try counseling or AA or whatever works. There is no path that is the same for everyone. What is important is that you make a change. In a few days I will be 6 months sober. I wish you the best.

foryoumyson

Your not the only one ive been saying the same things for to long now but im sick of it time to change my life around these past few years have been nothing but a blur. Im taking my life back enough is enough . It's hard work if it was easy everyone would do it . Good luck keep ur self busy . It all starts with that first drink one is never enough

Tamerua

The good thing, blink, is that it sounds like you're still in a place to choose. The stories I've read here, losing jobs, marriages, homes, etc. we have all been where you are right now and right now you can choose to stop. It's not easy, at all actually, but you can! Maybe find a group, a doctor, etc. to help and keep you accountable.

least

Welcome to the family. I hope our support can help you get sober for good.

skipper123

I have done the exact same thing. Every morning regret no more drinking than by the afternoon I was buying wine for the evening. This is my second go around and I am on day 50 today. It gets much better!!! You can do it if I can trust me!!!

Wtbaf16

Hi Blink you've received a lot of encouragement and good advice here so I won't repeat it but good luck with your journey. There are a variety of people in this chat room at all stages in the process. I myself am only on day 11 of being sober. I've tried many times to stop and have relapsed. With each relapse the drinking is worse, the consequences are worse, and trying to stop, again, becomes more difficult. This time, unlike others, I'm suffering from a serious case of dehydration which I'm assured is normal. I'm currently avoiding social engagements with friends/neighbors because I don't want to be tempted to have that"one" drink - just to fit in. I still have to plan my reintegration to social situations but I'll worry about that later.

Someone has already said this but it is so true. Getting up on a morning sober, without a hangover, without feelings of guilt from last night, is such a gift. Sitting on the porch reading or watching the world go by without feeling ill, is an experience we all deserve. If we are addicted to anything, it should be that!

Let's hope we all make it but SR is always here to provide support no matter what. We are in this struggle together.

Soberwolf

Hi Blink nice to meet you

Determined1977

Welcome Blink, I am 38 and today is day 8 for me. It is great that you have decided you want to get your life back. This site is definately, a judge-free zome. Keep reading, keep posting and ask as many questions as you want. For me, this site is a huge reason I successfully made it to day 8. For so long, I felt all alone with my disease, ADDICTION. I was able to share my experiences for the first time and not feel like a complete failure. Good luck and remember, you can do this..