I don't even know where to start anymore!
 

I've been here awhile, off and on.

I am trying to hold it together and looked, via Google, for a "mental illness" board, but it's all fragmented -- you have to fit ONE label.

So I came back here, but it's the same. I get it. You can't have everyone all in the same pool of conversation, but I don't know where to go for support.

I abuse alcohol. My daughter is a heroin addict on methadone who abuses alcohol. My parents were both mentally ill. In my family alone, we have bipolar disorder, major depression, anxiety with panic attacks, addiction, eating disorders, personality disorders (rage) and a bit of PTSD.

I am up late drinking, just trying to cope with too much from the people and circumstances happening around me -- everyone else's issues have always been on ME to manage. I need help to take care of my own self.

Yes, I have seen counselors, I'm on my own meds, etc... Just in the wee hours, I feel so overwhelmed with things I haven't been able to say while ensuring everyone else's needs are met.

When I should be in bed, I'm up doing nothing good. And tomorrow will come early -- another day of juggling their needs with mine, while trying to keep up with work and impending deadlines and pressures... It feels like too much, sometimes.

That's all. Just didn't know where else to share.

Sorry, Freedance. I hope you can strike a balance that allows you to take care of yourself and not be too stressed. But yes, please pour out the booze, drink some water and go to bed.

Good job reaching out

For me, I know I started feeling much better physically when I chose sobriety. Your plate is full? All the more reason to forego the drinks. I know it seems like drinking soothes your stress or provides an escape hatch, but that is the very thing which causes the most stress inside your mind and soul.

Instead of trying to manage the issues and afflictions of others, why not try dealing with your alcohol issue first?

I had alot going on in my life, but it's funny - once you commit "today, I will NOT drink no matter what" and make that your guiding force for awhile, things start falling into place. I started looking at things and questioning whether or not they were a threat to my sobriety, and if they were, they had to go.

Good choice of title, and a very well written post. For someone with such a family background, you are obviously well educated and articulate.

The place to start is to work out what the real problem is. are you an alcoholic? Are you a drug addict? are you both? or are you mentally ill?

Misuse of substances will make it difficult if not impossible to treat other issues. Maybe start by knocking off the substances, see how that goes. If you find you cant stop using, then get help with that. If the other problems persist after the substances are out of the picture, then get help with that.

Irk, lots going on for you Freedance.

I'm visiting from the Friends and Family forum. New forum members come almost every day asking what they can do to help loved ones with addictions. We all preach: "Take care of your own side of the street.". We preach this over and over again.

Consequently I second, third and forth everything that is being said here: Take care of your alcohol problems first and foremost. It really isn't possible to help anyone else. You can support them if they decide to help themselves but you can't help them.

Let us know how it goes.

Hi Freedance,

Said before but it's worth saying again, you must take care of yourself and your addictions, as only you can. Your daughter and the other influences cannot help you, nor can you help them. If possible get out of that environment for a while and focus on yourself.

We all have our demons. Stress triggers mine - or so I say. I did realize however that I can be no help to anyone if I cannot help myself first. It's hard and as a mother it seems selfish. But it is not. You first - keep thinking that and good luck.

Try putting down the booze.