Silver11

Hi friends,

I have a problem with alcohol where Saturday to Friday evening I don't drink and I'm determined not to. Then something happens on Friday evening and I lose control. And then I binge on beer - 8-10 cans.

I haven't been able to shake this for years. But I e been trying something new for the past few weeks.

The alcoholic mind is a scared little animal (a powerful one!) I've found. I find that just having beer in my fridge at home in a Friday night eases the cravings by half (because my alcoholic mind feels immediatley safe and satisfied that it has access to beer)

So last week I bought 7 cans of beer and put in my fridge. And delayed my drinking till 9pm. I didn't have a problem with the delay because I knew I had beer after all. Then I had the seven very slowly.

Yesterday I managed to do the same thing with 6 cans. I have never just had 6 in a long time. I consider it a small victory.

Am I fooling myself? Next week I'm going to buy 5 and keep it in my fridge and delay my drinking till 10pm.

I find that if I try to completely deprive my alcoholic mind it reacts with a vengeance and I wind up drinking LOTS.

But it's easy to trick the alcoholic mind by sincerely telling it 'look buddy the beer is in the fridge'. Somehow it's calming to know its there and half the cravings vanish.

I'm going to keep tapering and see what happens. Today, I woke up with a lot more energy than I usually have. If I can keep doing this successfully then who knows. Maybe one day I can stop.

Cheers and thanks for reading

ZenLifter

Hmm...I seem to remember vaguely having tried some similar approach many years ago. It may have worked for a short time, but not in the long run. At least not for me. All you can do is try it, I guess. If you are truly an alcoholic, the success will be short lived.

dwtbd

I'd bargain with AV ( the scared animal, loud as it may be) for years, trouble was somehow it always seemed to win out and eventually I'd be back to drinking to the levels with all the associated consequences I was trying to avoid by bargaining.
When I realized that It could could whine and scream as loud as it wanted , but It couldn't drive to the store and fill the fridge. It couldn't control the muscles in my arm to lift or open the can and once I did all bets were off on the number of cans that got opened.
The whining got a lot quieter and less frequent when I put my foot down and said 'howl all you want, it ain't gonna happen, even one can is no longer an option'
New sheriff in town, kinda thing

Silver11

Hi dwtbd,

Did you need AA to realize that? Just asking because I've tried AA 3 times and it does nothing to quell the AV. When the AV starts beating it's chest I don't feel like calling a friend

Dee74

For me tapering was like the death of a thousand cuts...and the closer I got to zero the more my addiction whispered that was probably close enough...and the wheels would come off...

I think it's important to remember who needs to be in charge here - and it can't be your AV.

do you think you could maybe advance by two cans per week instead of one Drash?

D

Silver11

Thanks for the response Dee74. Sometimes I think I am fooling myself. I only drink once a week but that's only because of my family and job. If I take a vacation I'd probably feel like drinking everyday.

Right now it astonishes me that I could be so determined to stop drinking until Friday. Then something subtle and strange happens in my mind and I find myself justifying drinking. It's crazy!

You asked if I could stop by 2. Ok, I'll try 4 cans next week Friday and just sip to make it last. We'll see how that goes.

Sometimes I wish I never started drinking. The 17 year old me never drank at all and had fun without alcohol. I wonder if I can go back to being him again

Berrybean

What would happen if you tried that approach with a small spoiled brat child and it's favourite sweets? Certainly won't work with alcohol, cunning and baffling. Your AV is in your head, so it KNOWS what you're doing and will fight back. The only way to win the game is concede defeat, and retire from it. Make alcohol a non-negotiable. It will put your average toddler to shame in its paddies initially, but as the time between the present and your last drink increases, your AV'S power decreases. It doesn't shut up, but gets quieter and less intense. But if you keep feeding it, it will continue to thrive.

Possibly you were expecting too much too soon with AA. Most people find that the obsession does life after working the program for a while (not just going to meetings. I mean getting a sponsor, and working the steps and doing the daily recovery work on their own as well as going to meetings). Sounds like you're still in denial to me. There is no easier, softer way. If there was, it would have made someone millions by now.

dwtbd

Drash11
I 'stumbled' upon SR when I was googling things about alcohol withdrawal and anxiety. That lead to me finding out about AVRT/Rational Recovery(there are great threads on these ideas here on SR in the Secular Connections forum) and those ideas really resonated with me, you should check them out and see what you think.
It will be three years this month since I pinned on my sheriffs' star(made my Big Plan).
Rootin for ya, and hope to see you around

thomas11

I'm not one to critique methods of quitting as long as the end result is sobriety. I will say this, the mind is incredibly powerful. It can propel you to unimaginable heights, and drag you through the depths of hell. Wish you the best man.