Mattq2

Didn't sleep so good last night. Thought alot about being an aicholic. I wondered if I was one before I ever took a drink. I think so. I also wondered if there was any way I could have avoided it. I don't think there was. I think the only way to be sober for good is to travel the path of alcoholism and hope you reach your personal bottom and gain long term sobriety ( before something bad happens). I don't now what science or the medical community says but that's how I see it. Crappy hand to be dealt I guess. I don't like talking about myself much but I like reading what others have experienced. What do you think?

Anna

I know I became an alcoholic very, very quickly. I had childhood trauma that I had buried for years, I was hypoglycemic and my body loved sugar, I was a chronic insomniac, I had issues with anxiety/depression from my early teen years, and both of my parents were alcoholic. Talk about a perfect storm.

I'm not so sure about being dealt a crappy hand. Everyone has struggles in their lives, alcoholism is my struggle. It has opened me to being a much more compassionate and caring person and helped me to appreciate the life I have.

REsoberALITY

I have wondered the same thing myself. One thing that seems different from a lot of people is that my parents, grandparents, brothers and sister, in fact no one in my family that I know of has this problem but me. That confuses me a little. What I do know, is that as I far as I can remember, I rarely or possibly never had 2-3 drinks and didn't end up having more later that day or evening. This started as binge drinking when I was 19 or so and I suppose by the time I was 30 I was drinking everyday..... I don't know if I could have learned to drink responsibly or not (I'm guessing no) but here I sit 41 years old and I know I can't learn it now. I am hoping that I find the best tools to keep me sober from here on out. I'll admit, it's very difficult to read some of our stories of relapse at times but then it reminds me that picking up a drink again could put me right back there tomorrow and I'm encouraged to stay this course. On a good note, once yesterday passed I realized I had made it through a calendars years of holidays without a drink in my hand. And I know I haven't skipped a holiday of drinking in 20 yrs prior to this. It feels like a milestone for me. Hope everyone is having great sober evening.

Dee74

I can point you to people who had way crappier hands dealt than I did
You can absolutely stop active alcoholism

I don't think there's a requirement to drink until your life is ruined either...

a bottom can be a simple decision not to drink again...you can make it earlier or later. Earlier is better, but anytime is good
D

MIRecovery

I choose to play the crappy hand I was dealt with every ounce determination I have. So far I have rebuilt my life into something better than I could have imagined. I personally believe it took everything that happened for me to get where I am.

Even in sobriety I was dealt cards that were worse than anything in my darkest nightmares. Though things have been very hard I have never regretted my decision to stay sober

Mattq2

I guess I shouldn't have made the "crappy hand" statement. I was wondering more about if I was born an alcoholic or I turned myself into one. I'm still here and I'm not drinking so it could be far worse

Dee74

I think it's a chicken or the egg argument Matt. The really important thing is we do something about it

D

Mattq2

Your right dee

Fly N Buy

If I was left in a field when very young and as a grown adult I'm still sitting there whose choice is that??

I found pondering the unknown as it related to why served a lot less purpose than taking action to change the outcome of how I was living. We have a choice to seek the help we need.

Forward12

I think we've all at one time or another had the "why me?" thoughts. Many are just born with the alcoholic gene from the first sip, it was game on. Others it may be a slow growing beast that can take years, sometimes decades the show it's ugly head. Others self medicate from trauma or other mental illness.
In the end we're all in the same place to make the changes needed to live a healthy and sober life.

leviathan

Yes, there are different stories.

I think looking into reasons why and genetics and all that is perfectly valid. We all should know ourselves to our best abilities.

I agree with the bunch though- this is not the first step. 1) Stop. 2) Develope a comprehensive plan to stay stopped. 3) Monitor and adjust as necessary. - then work on philosophy.

Personally speaking, I got hammered the first time I drank. On purpose. Two or three without a follow-up drinking bout is like a tease that makes me really grumpy. I feel like I was built this way. Alcohol felt like a perfect fit until it wasn't.

I believe it is the memory of this "fit", back near the beginning that those of my sub-type have a hard time reconciling with. The damage was SO SO obvious, but I kept trying to make it work.

So grateful I'm not fighting anymore.

totfit

I was born with the inability to drink normally.