Something that stops me giving it up for good.......
 

I have noticed many alcoholics admit that they are stopped drinking when drinking stopped working for them. When they could no longer enjoy the positive feelings from alcohol. The euphoria that one gets from drinking. Well, since I can still experience that, in my mind, it makes it hard for me to accept giving it up since I can still enjoy myself when drinking and getting drunk. This is a huge trigger for me. Ive been drinking since my teens, around 15 years of age. And am now 30 so don't know if it will stop anytime soon. I am a also a binge drinking alcoholic and not an everyday alcoholic so don't know if that will prolong this. Or if some alcoholics can achieve the pleasure from alcohol for life. So yeah, that is one of my struggles with stopping for good. Sure there are consequences from living my life this way but I seem to also have a strong pain threshold.

Of course if I could no longer achieve any positive feelings/benefits from alcohol, that would make it so much easier to give it up for good. But I'm not there right now. And can still enjoy that release and nice escape that alcohol can provide some of us.

The feeling of me missing out and feeling deprived of fun from drinking is a huge wall for me staying sober. As my name refers to, when I am grateful to be sober, I can stay sober. But once I start feeling like I'm missing out and depriving myself of fun, I usually buckle. In my mind, I am young and should be out there with the rest of my young generations and living it up. Not at home alone feeling bitter and not allowed to do what I see others do with impunity.

If you are feeling that sobriety is some sort of deprivation or punishment, then something is missing from your recovery. You feel you need alcohol to have fun. That's just not the case...except for your addiction.

I am only in early soberiaty but I was very much like you. No fun without alcohol .

But when the hangovers lasted for days and I thought to myself. I can enjoy a few years of fun and die young or give soberiaty a real go and have fun for many many more years, that's when I stopped.

Good luck.

So you understand why you drink. You drink for the deep pleasure it gives you. That's it.

Believe it or not, that is a start.

If you give it some thought, you might actually start questioning whether this pleasure compensates for the cost of alcoholism. I suggest you start thinking in that direction.

Then you can make the choice between that brief feeling of pleasure, and real happiness, satisfaction, and peace.

If drinking is such an enjoyable pass time, why are you even considering giving it up? I know I wouldn't when I was in your shoes.

Completely agree with this! Why do you want to quit?

Presumably you're here because you see a cost to your drinking that worries you. You enjoy it, but I assume you're paying a price for that enjoyment and are asking yourself if it's worth it. Otherwise, given what you've just written, you'd just carry on as usual without giving it another thought.

So assuming at least part of you is wondering if life might be better if you didn't drink, can I highly, highly recommend you have a look at two things. The first is the free online Crash Course in AVRT (just Google that). It helps to explain where those urges to drink come from, the voice in your head that tells you how much fun it is to drink, and how you should keep doing it. By recognising where it's coming from, it can help you to ignore it. The other is to get a copy of Allen Carr's How to Control Your Drinking. It sets out to explode all the myths that you're telling yourself, and society has told you all your life, about alcohol.

I suggest these because those are the two approaches I used to quit. Over a year ago now. I was also a binge drinker. I was also convinced I had to drink to really enjoy myself. And kept drinking for 35 years (so don't count on hitting a point in your life where you suddenly decide you don't enjoy it any more. At least not without help and encouragement).

I no longer have any desire to drink. I don't regret quitting. I don't stay at home wishing I could be having fun drinking. I went to a party last week with a large group of friends. Almost all of them were drinking. I was on juice and soda. I brought my electric guitar and got everyone singing along to the '80s music we all knew. They had a great time. I had a great time. I would not have had more fun drinking, I just would have played and sung much worse than I did. And felt sick the next day. Nobody at any point even noticed I wasn't drinking as far as I could tell. People have fun when they're on holiday or out with friends because they're on holiday or are out with friends. Not because they're drunk.

Hope this helps in some way. My only regret with quitting drinking is that I didn't do it when I first promised myself I would, over 25 years ago.

I completely understand where you're coming from as I feel exactly the same. I am quite awkward socially and find drinking, at least the first few drinks, helps tremendously with this. Without drink I think I can no longer socialize then what would life be for? Of course my sane mind knows this is not the case - my sister never drinks and is always socializing, but my alcoholic self supports my theory .

Mind over matter! It's simply a case of how to carve out your own personal path in life that you can enjoy. I'm struggling myself to find my own path.

Hi StayingGrateful,

I think we all stumble upon this site because we are concerned about our drinking. What brought you here?

I can tell you I wish that I was smart enough to have stopped at a young age.

Drinking and living it up or being home alone and bitter and not "allowed"....are not the only options. I have been able to go out and enjoy myself and not drink at the same time. I do get the passing longing here and there when I see people enjoy it, I won't lie about that, but I know that I can't/don't stop at one or two....and I now see how absolutely irritating drunk people are. Yes, I am more quiet/less obnoxious when I'm out now than when I was drinking, but that is NOT necessarily a bad thing. Waking up the next day, even after a late night, and not feeling hungover is fabulous. Driving home knowing I have nothing to worry about, not one-eyeing it and praying to not see a cop is a HUGE weight off the shoulders.

I would start by trying to see all the gray between your two black-and-white scenarios.

Of course if I could no longer achieve any positive feelings/benefits from alcohol, that would make it so much easier to give it up for good.

yeah, one would think so.
personally, i didn't find that to be true.
by the time there was no pleasure, it was long past "easy" to let go of it.

your entire post speaks to me of "i'll wait until......", which seems the usual way.

when you've finally reached the point where the 'pleasure' is outweighed by consequences and torture, you might find yourself very surprised that no-pleasure doesn't make quitting any easier for you.

Thanks for your comments guys and good advice. Appreciate it. Helps me to see things in other better ways.

I'm sure there are some, like me, who still enjoyed drinking immensely when they gave it up. I knew I had a problem but I was okay with it. I liked the buzz.

Then one day I show up at home 1030 at night and the wife wasn't expecting me until 730 in the morning. The last time I set foot at my place of employment and only made it 4 hours into a 12 hour shift. They sent me home and eventually told me to never come back. It was that night I decided I will never drink again.

Don't wait for one of those moments. Quit now.

After I got sober, I realized how much better I like myself, and life. It is so much better believe me. After a while, and it doesn't take too long, you won't even miss it. In fact, you'll kick yourself for waiting as long as you did.
I know I did.

Yes, being drunk is more fun....or is it? The "fun" in reality is fake. It is literally a genie from a bottle that creates an illusion of fun and disappears as soon as the bottle is empty. The challenge for all of us is to find fun that is not fake. And yes, it is not easy, but it is there.