MrX

sucks to be single and sober

Kaily

Try Plenty off Fish, online dating!

chrcarlson

Dude, I feel your pain.

Soberwolf

How long sober Mr X ?

entropy1964

Maybe wait until your frame of mind is something more like 'I'm looking forward to dating sober'.

I started dating after I had about a year sober. Hindsight says I wasn't ready. But it wasn't a big deal really. People don't drink nearly as much as I thought they did

ScottFromWI

In don't think it sucks to be sober MrX! Also remember that people who are in relationships have plenty of problems to, so it's not s magic cure for what ails you. How long have yon been sober?

ThisTimePlease

I hear ya....

tomsteve

im 48, single and have been sober for a few years. been single for a few years,too, and love it!

it was a result of accepting a relationship wasn't going to make me happy and loving myself.

so, why do you feel it sucks to be single and sober?
were you single when drinkin?

ZenLifter

Been single for awhile myself, almost 5 months of sobriety. I think I'm gonna wait on the dating until I feel a little more comfortable in my own skin.

A little funny (or not so funny) story: back in January, when I was still drinking, I had a date which ended on a bad note when the woman I was with witnessed me completely lose my s@#$ over my car alarm going off and me being unable to turn it off. I thought to myself after, "well, I'll never see her again." I was right

HeadingtoChange

I'd look at why it sucks to be single.

EndGameNYC

Relationships are work. Relationships are conflict. Relationships require time, energy and attention. Maturity, emotional stability and a good heart. Perhaps the most painful kind of loneliness is that which overshadows us in a relationship.

Unrealistic expectations about other people is among the most notable obstacles when it comes to making relationships work. Most people spend more time and effort taking care of their lawns, doing research for buying a new car, and following their favorite teams than they do on working on their relationships. Historically, studies demonstrate that couples spend less than twenty minutes each week talking about their relationship. Is that enough? And spending time alone or participating in separate activities without resentment from one's partner is an indicator of successful relationships.

As accurate as it is to measure such a thing, it took me at least two years of sobriety to feel that I was even close to being ready for a committed, romantic relationship. It never met the level of importance or concern that my getting sober and taking care of my emotional stuff did.

If you're just talking about sex, then that's a whole different thing.

least

I'm sober six years and single for almost twenty and I like my life this way. Why not volunteer somewhere if you want to meet people? Good way to give back to the community and meet new people.

breath

Really? Have you considered the alternatives?

1) Single + Not Sober = nobody coming to the...hospital, jail, 'institution' to visit you.

2) Passed out with only your bad attitude, resentments, loneliness, as your freinds...being chased by a growing herd of problems...

...Nobody can keep a relationship worth having while in the disease, that's just another disease on top of the one we already have

...lost opportunities...

OR...

Motivation, Opportunities, Choice, Optimism, Hope, Happiness, Memories, Stability, Solutions...I'll stop there, my list is never complete but so far I've found seveal thousand reasons to be single and sober and NOTHING on my list to be drinking and drugging and not remembering what I've done..

Wastinglife

My first attempt at sobriety began 5 years ago. My drinking had ruined a long term relationship and I went to rehab. I was sober almost 8 months when I decided to start internet dating. The first date I went on was at a bar and I didn't think twice about drinking. I got wasted and don't even remember the date because after I went to the liquor store and drank at home until 5am, missing work the next day. Pretty soon I was back to drinking and now I am trying sobriety again 5 years later.

I will not make a good partner for any woman right now. Any future women I may date will probably have to be aware beforehand that I am an alcoholic in recovery. I think I'll need a year of sobriety at least

Dee74

some great advice here Mr X

If you're looking to dating to stop your life from sucking, chances are you'll be disappointed...

I think working out why you feel life sucks, and then fixing it, will put you in a far better place to think about dating then?

D

teatreeoil007

Being single and sober were some of the best years of my life! Being sober is great no matter what your relationship status is.

uncorked

I'm SO not ready to be in a relationship. I'm afraid of the old, "let's meet for a drink" and having to come up with an explanation....no.