Can't do it...need help!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2016
Posts: 6
Can't do it...need help!
I don't understand why I can't do sobriety. I want it so bad but for some reason I always end up with a drink in my hand. I have never made it past 3 days. At 3 days the little voice in my head wants to celebrate...no major withdrawals...so i'm 'obviously not that bad', feel great...'maybe too great, maybe i have too many good brain chemicals flowing', feel normal...'maybe quitting drinking will hurt my career'.
I want to be sober. I am a strong person but don't feel as strong as you guys here.
I can't tell my story to anyone close to me and can't attend meetings. any regular online meetings that you can recommend or something that can help me remain anonymous? anyone have a sponsor that is strictly by phone or text?
good night...buzzed...ashamed...and feeling defeated.
I want to be sober. I am a strong person but don't feel as strong as you guys here.
I can't tell my story to anyone close to me and can't attend meetings. any regular online meetings that you can recommend or something that can help me remain anonymous? anyone have a sponsor that is strictly by phone or text?
good night...buzzed...ashamed...and feeling defeated.
Blue Belt
Join Date: Jul 2015
Location: Soberville, USA
Posts: 4,174
Anoth,
Hi. Welcome.
3 days is not a reason to celebrate, it is when the anxiety starts to trickle out...then it starts to drip, then spill, then pour and flow.
It is the beginning of mental and physical detox. It is when staying sober gets harder.
You, like me, are an addict. Nothing more or less. You currently are in need of booze to feel normal. I still don't feel normal and I have not gotten drunk in 421 days.
I forgot what normal is.
If you have shakes etc before 3 days....you are in critical condition.
Get clean.
Hi. Welcome.
3 days is not a reason to celebrate, it is when the anxiety starts to trickle out...then it starts to drip, then spill, then pour and flow.
It is the beginning of mental and physical detox. It is when staying sober gets harder.
You, like me, are an addict. Nothing more or less. You currently are in need of booze to feel normal. I still don't feel normal and I have not gotten drunk in 421 days.
I forgot what normal is.
If you have shakes etc before 3 days....you are in critical condition.
Get clean.
bona fido dog-lover
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: SF Bay area, CA
Posts: 99,773
You can get sober for good, but first you must want to be sober more than you want to drink. 
You still want to drink more than you want to stay sober or a drink wouldn't just 'find itself in your hand'.
You still want to drink more than you want to stay sober or a drink wouldn't just 'find itself in your hand'.
Guest
Join Date: May 2016
Location: Australia
Posts: 1,802
This post matches my own story. I've been to AA and done alcohol counselling. I can't make it past a few days either. I always think what will one more drunk hurt? So I'm back on day one again. I don't feel normal when I'm not drinking, can't remember life before the bottle, have no money as I keep wasting it getting drunk. Maybe I just don't want to give up but I know I do or I wouldn't be posting this.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: California
Posts: 13,040
I'm not going to lie, the first few days/weeks are the hardest, but you can get through them.
If you are unable to go to meetings stay glued to SR, join the July class, plan out every minute of the time you would normally be drinking with alternate activities, don't have alcohol in the house, avoid parties/events where alcohol will be served for a while, pick up a recovery book, take a class at the gym, go for long walks, find a series on Netflix to become addicted to...
You will start to feel better physically, and mentally, but you need to be willing to do the work that comes along with recovery.
You can do this, start again tomorrow, the 4th of July sounds like a great day to assert your freedom from alcohol.
If you are unable to go to meetings stay glued to SR, join the July class, plan out every minute of the time you would normally be drinking with alternate activities, don't have alcohol in the house, avoid parties/events where alcohol will be served for a while, pick up a recovery book, take a class at the gym, go for long walks, find a series on Netflix to become addicted to...
You will start to feel better physically, and mentally, but you need to be willing to do the work that comes along with recovery.
You can do this, start again tomorrow, the 4th of July sounds like a great day to assert your freedom from alcohol.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2015
Location: USA
Posts: 5,250
Hi and welcome. I was caught in that 3 day cycle for a long time. I finally realized that I couldn't do it alone.
I started outpatient treatment and finally broke the cycle! I have 3 weeks today. I still have a long way to go but I'm off that terrible Merry-go-round to hell!
Most people need extra help. In addition to outpatient treatment 3 nights per week, I also go to AA, therapy & come here.
I have to put as much or more time and energy into sobriety as I did drinking or I will never stay sober.
Good luck. Be willing to go to any lengths & you will do it!
I started outpatient treatment and finally broke the cycle! I have 3 weeks today. I still have a long way to go but I'm off that terrible Merry-go-round to hell!
Most people need extra help. In addition to outpatient treatment 3 nights per week, I also go to AA, therapy & come here.
I have to put as much or more time and energy into sobriety as I did drinking or I will never stay sober.
Good luck. Be willing to go to any lengths & you will do it!
Member
Join Date: Jun 2016
Posts: 334
Hi anothername.You can do it.SR will support you all the way.Read and re-read all your replies from the guys.The 1st few weeks are very hard ,with or without a craving for alcohol.This time last week I was absolutely terrified and exhausted from the anxiety,depression and racing thoughts which are part and parcel of withdrawal.The guys on here were telling me this but it took 2weeks to sink in to my scrambled brain.I am 6weeks sober now.Your life is precious.Stay close to SR.Take care.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2016
Posts: 334
Originally Posted by D122y 
Anoth,
Hi. Welcome.
3 days is not a reason to celebrate, it is when the anxiety starts to trickle out...then it starts to drip, then spill, then pour and flow.
It is the beginning of mental and physical detox. It is when staying sober gets harder.
You, like me, are an addict. Nothing more or less. You currently are in need of booze to feel normal. I still don't feel normal and I have not gotten drunk in 421 days.
I forgot what normal is.
If you have shakes etc before 3 days....you are in critical condition.
Get clean.
Hi. Welcome.
3 days is not a reason to celebrate, it is when the anxiety starts to trickle out...then it starts to drip, then spill, then pour and flow.
It is the beginning of mental and physical detox. It is when staying sober gets harder.
You, like me, are an addict. Nothing more or less. You currently are in need of booze to feel normal. I still don't feel normal and I have not gotten drunk in 421 days.
I forgot what normal is.
If you have shakes etc before 3 days....you are in critical condition.
Get clean.
Do your best
Join Date: Aug 2014
Posts: 67,047
Hi AnotherName the good thing about Sr is its totally anonymous you are not alone as you have found us and we get exactly how hard this is
Don't tell yourself you can't do it rather take alcohol off the menu completely based on the facts it's causing you problems
Acceptance of the facts will help so will regular interaction within this community
Your not alone bud
Don't tell yourself you can't do it rather take alcohol off the menu completely based on the facts it's causing you problems
Acceptance of the facts will help so will regular interaction within this community
Your not alone bud
Hears The Voice
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: Unshackled
Posts: 7,901
I have one of those little voices in my head to. In 25 years it hasn't told me one true thing. Not one. It is a liar and a thief that would kill me if I let it.
I stopped taking advice from a known liar and my life got a lot better. I highly recommend it.
Oh - and celebrating 3 days of sobriety with alcohol is like celebrating 3 days of cleaning with a bucket of mud. Strange what that little voice can make you believe until you realize it always lies.
I stopped taking advice from a known liar and my life got a lot better. I highly recommend it.
Oh - and celebrating 3 days of sobriety with alcohol is like celebrating 3 days of cleaning with a bucket of mud. Strange what that little voice can make you believe until you realize it always lies.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2010
Posts: 937
In the first 30 days I had to do the opposite of whatever crap ideas my brain served up during my "witching hour" (5pm thru 7pm) - it is going to feel strange, uncomfortable and life may just plain suck for a bit.
I just told myself "today, no matter what, I will not drink." You CAN do this - it is all in your control.
I just told myself "today, no matter what, I will not drink." You CAN do this - it is all in your control.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2015
Location: Las Vegas
Posts: 1,486
I used to be in a day 4 cycle, the anxiety started washing over me on that day,the desire,craving,I even named it "the day foursies"cuz I knew what to expect,there's still some days for me for some reason are hard but you just gotta hold on tight and get through those days,drinking sucks!
Member
Join Date: Feb 2015
Location: MN
Posts: 8,704
I have not read the entire thread, but the 3 day phenomenon is very real. Often if we don't suffer any great consequences, at 3 days we believe we are well enough to drink again. Or we think that the next time will somehow be different....and it never is. The ending is always the same, and usually its not good.
Member
Join Date: May 2012
Posts: 1,981
I was on the 3-4 day sober merry-go-round' myself for a long time. It seems around then is when the shame, anxiety, and regret lifts, and the AV lies and says "Hey, you're all better now! You can handle just a couple drinks" then the binging starts all over again. It does take great strength to pull yourself away, and realize your AV is just doing anything it possibly can to get you to feed it.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2016
Posts: 6
Thank you everyone for your responses. It took me a couple of days to recover, but I was sober for my previous 3 day record plus 1. I know how desperate and stupid that sounds that I broke my long standing record of only having 3 days sober...now my record is 4 days. Next week it is going to be at least 5 days. I know it should be forever. I want to be completely sober...but between the AV and the brain zaps, i'm struggling.
D122y - you are absolutely correct. i've been on medication for panic disorder for 20 years. most of the time i use alcohol instead of my medication. it starts getting worse after i start drinking, and the medication is not as effective. i guess it is the chicken and the egg saga. it's not the shakes that bother me, but the 'brain zaps' that start to happen around day 3. i'm not sure if you have ever tried to get off an SSRI...but it is the same feeling.
least - i do not doubt what you say. something inside me feels more pleasure than the pain. no matter how much i hate drinking, deep down it is better than reality.
sugarbear1 - i am about to message you now. i apologize for the delay.
sweetichick - unfortunately i'm in the same boat. i made it 4 days this time instead of 3.
Delilah1 - the past 4 days have been awesome. i've felt clear headed. i've been going to the gym daily. i've been eating well. these past few days have been great, but i started to get dizzy and 'brain zaps' today. have you or anyone else experienced that? my brain felt more 'drunk' today than it has while i was drinking.
ZenLifter - thank you for the info. i missed tuesday and will be with people tomorrow (friday)...the anonymity thing is making things a little more difficult for me.
KiKi0615 - your situation is like mine. what type of treatment did you do? a recovery center or a general psychologist/psychiatrist?
OfEpiphany - as much as i have tried to avoid it, i am an addict. it hurts to admit it but i am. i always thought i wasn't and just used as a hobby, but it is a hobby i can't quit. it actually hurts me to write this because i am finally realizing it. i am an addict.
Jojay - congrats on 6 weeks sober!!! you know the struggle and i am envious of you. that is an incredible accomplishment that i can only hope to attain one day. hopefully sooner than later. but imagine yourself in my shoes now and just be so thankful for where you are!!!
Soberwolf - regular interaction will definitely help. have you/anyone ever felt judged in the beginning (i know they have but its different when it is you) when you relapse after you post or while posting and just feel ashamed? i think that is where i'm at. i'm struggling, but think of everyone on here as amazing for what they did.
chrcarlson - the AV voice is horrible. I have read about it and experience it everyday and that is a big reason for my relapses. why can't they invent something that quiets the AV???
Nonsensical - it is funny how you put that. the AV is like celebrating three days of cleaning with a bucket of mud!! why can't i remember that when the AV is talking??
madgirl - the 'witching hour' is real. i read what you wrote several days ago and sure enough, no matter what i was doing, when i started to get antsy and anxious i looked at the clock and it was my drinking time.
Winslow - sounds so familiar! were you ever on medication for panic/anxiety disorder before drinking? or after you quit? just wondering if i am self medicating on the 3rd day.
thomas11 - amen brother. it is real. how did you start breaking the cycle?
Forward12 - same as thomas11. what was your final breaking point and how did you break the cycle?
D122y - you are absolutely correct. i've been on medication for panic disorder for 20 years. most of the time i use alcohol instead of my medication. it starts getting worse after i start drinking, and the medication is not as effective. i guess it is the chicken and the egg saga. it's not the shakes that bother me, but the 'brain zaps' that start to happen around day 3. i'm not sure if you have ever tried to get off an SSRI...but it is the same feeling.
least - i do not doubt what you say. something inside me feels more pleasure than the pain. no matter how much i hate drinking, deep down it is better than reality.
sugarbear1 - i am about to message you now. i apologize for the delay.
sweetichick - unfortunately i'm in the same boat. i made it 4 days this time instead of 3.
Delilah1 - the past 4 days have been awesome. i've felt clear headed. i've been going to the gym daily. i've been eating well. these past few days have been great, but i started to get dizzy and 'brain zaps' today. have you or anyone else experienced that? my brain felt more 'drunk' today than it has while i was drinking.
ZenLifter - thank you for the info. i missed tuesday and will be with people tomorrow (friday)...the anonymity thing is making things a little more difficult for me.
KiKi0615 - your situation is like mine. what type of treatment did you do? a recovery center or a general psychologist/psychiatrist?
OfEpiphany - as much as i have tried to avoid it, i am an addict. it hurts to admit it but i am. i always thought i wasn't and just used as a hobby, but it is a hobby i can't quit. it actually hurts me to write this because i am finally realizing it. i am an addict.
Jojay - congrats on 6 weeks sober!!! you know the struggle and i am envious of you. that is an incredible accomplishment that i can only hope to attain one day. hopefully sooner than later. but imagine yourself in my shoes now and just be so thankful for where you are!!!
Soberwolf - regular interaction will definitely help. have you/anyone ever felt judged in the beginning (i know they have but its different when it is you) when you relapse after you post or while posting and just feel ashamed? i think that is where i'm at. i'm struggling, but think of everyone on here as amazing for what they did.
chrcarlson - the AV voice is horrible. I have read about it and experience it everyday and that is a big reason for my relapses. why can't they invent something that quiets the AV???
Nonsensical - it is funny how you put that. the AV is like celebrating three days of cleaning with a bucket of mud!! why can't i remember that when the AV is talking??
madgirl - the 'witching hour' is real. i read what you wrote several days ago and sure enough, no matter what i was doing, when i started to get antsy and anxious i looked at the clock and it was my drinking time.
Winslow - sounds so familiar! were you ever on medication for panic/anxiety disorder before drinking? or after you quit? just wondering if i am self medicating on the 3rd day.
thomas11 - amen brother. it is real. how did you start breaking the cycle?
Forward12 - same as thomas11. what was your final breaking point and how did you break the cycle?
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