I would like to reckomend that you end this relationship and focus on your recovery!!!! You are asking for nothing but.....TROUBLE

Disaster waiting to happen....................... Recovery is a gift and I'm sorry neither you nor him nor I are the gift.

I'm the worst decision maker in the world, in the worst depression of my life, just starting recovery, and I can still clearly see that this is a bad idea. Not to burst your bubble, but if I'd have listened to others who'd been there before, I wouldn't be in such bad shape now myself. Best of luck--stay sober no matter what.

Focus on YOU right now!

Laurie; One thing I have learned is that addicts/alcoholics seem to zoom in on each other, even if they don't know initially about the others addiction. Of course we feel like we have known each other all our lives, and feel a "soulmate" connection. There is good reason for this. We think alike and do things in similar manners. I also met a younger man in recovery, we spent a total of 8 weeks together. As soon as I started realizing he was singling me out, I started to pull away. That was hard because I wanted to support him and all of us wanted to support each other. Another thing I noticed about recovery programs is that we were like trauma victims going through the same thing. The enemy was the councilors. We were all so "thick and together" It seemed nothing could penetrate our strength in numbers. Of course we inevitably went our separate ways when it was through, and I only keep in touch with one other woman now, the only one who didn't relapse.
Ask yourself if you really have feelings for this guy, or if he is just a good drinking buddy? Sure would think twice about this before you destroy an entire family. If you are not happy in your marriage, work on just being happy with you. The grass that you think is greener, truly isn't. Don't look for outside sources to make you feel good about yourself. Do it for yourself.

"Don't look for outside sources to make you feel good about yourself. Do it for yourself."

He is a Heroin user that is drinking.
You have 2 kids and a husband.
You don't have a driver's L.
He don't either.

Don't sound too promising...does it to you?

Not to be brutal, but continuing any type of a relationship with this man will be detrimental to both of your recoveries. Neither of you are in a frame of mind to be in this type of relationship. Quite evident by the fact that when you met up with him you went out for drinks. You must concentrate on yourself and your recovery or you might not have any life left to protect.

Hang in there.

Yup! The mutual attraction was recovery based. Going out for drinks just blew that foundation. It's an illusion darlin, get over him, get on with your recovery.

Well, I have to agree with everyone on this ... Been there, done that. I was in a rehab program back in May and became real close with a guy in there. Once we were both out of rehab, we started hanging out, sleeping together & before u know it, we 're both drinking & drugging together. Now he is on his way to jail for DUI & I am on my way back into a treatment program for at least a year. It's only asking trouble to get invovled that quickly in your recovery. Focus on you!!

ARGG!!!! i just wrote this whole page essay on why this was a bad idea and how i met my wife in rehab 10 years ago yada yada yada you all know the ending, and it got lost some how. Anyways, do what you want laurie, its your life and your choices, but I have a stonge feeling you will wish you listened to these people that have replied here above me they know what they are talking about. wicked big hugs to you :hug: