We see what we think
 

On my path to "becoming" an alcoholic and drug addict the painful part was the in-between. When people saw me as one way when in fact I was another. It took time to change people's minds about what they thought of me before they thought of me as a drunk druggie.

For me it was no willful act of convincing. It's about the trust broken or the disappointments that follow one another that push us to see differently. Like a blind love we all hope.

Not everyone around me missed the clues. Nope. Some arrived before I did. That's the tipping point. When self identity becomes something people put on you and not the other way around. When who you are inside wants to scream so loud "THAT'S NOT ME!"... Too late, everything changed.

What they see is no longer what they think. That really blows. That moment right there. From then on its a slow climb back.

One thing I have learned. Deeply in fact. It's utterly useless to try and traverse the same path backward. Like trying to show me differently will now change again what they think. Changing what most people think is not what I am talking about. I don't give a rats ass about them. It's those intimate people in my life.

It's obvious when you meet someone and they want you to think they are rich or they are successful or they are anything they are laying down as real. Most people can see the difference. I happen to be rather fond of the more genuine folk. Like I see myself. It's there I found that I could gain back my own sense of self.

The best thing I ever did for myself was to take the lessons with me and leave the baggage. It's my own unburdening that allows the real people in my life also see my self forgiveness.

It's when my identity again comes from me and not from anyone else that I can feel like I am ok. I am doing well. I can grow again. After decades of laying dormant.

We do see what we think. I look in the mirror every day and I see a man who is growing and is sober and I think... he is ok.

Your more than ok Ken your a really good friend and you help many

Thanks SW... This was one of those posts that was for me. A little heady for most folks to be bothered with when so many are struggling.

Have a good one sir!

When an atheist gives you an "amen" you know you're on to something.

Couldn't agree more. Good food for thought and things to remember.

Thanks.

Wonderful K. Thank you.

Great post Ken! I always enjoy how insightful you are.:-)