Ironhorse1

First post here. I've spent the last few days pouring over threads.

Long story short, my drinking has really ramped up in the last few years. I drink at work (I own my own business so I'm always working), I drink at home, I drink whenever I want. My social scene is largely based around drinking. In these social settings I enjoy drinking, but lately booze has been effecting my life in a negative way...less productive at work, less attentive to my wife and kids, less interest in doing anything that doesn't involve alcohol. A "good" day for me is about 6 drinks, but average would be about 9.

All that to say, I know I need to figure this out. I don't really want to stop all together, but I know I don't have much of an "off" switch...it's hard for me to have 1 drink, or 3 drinks.
I know the smart thing to do is to quite (which i have tried several times...my last attempt lasted 2 months).

Is moderation an option for someone like me?

Coldfusion

Welcome!

I think you have to answer that question yourself. What happens when you try to reduce your alcohol consumption?

Forward12

Unfortunately no. As alcoholics, moderation simply doesn't exist. Once that first sip goes down, it opens the floodgates.

Dee74

Welcome IronHorse1

I really believe if you have to ask, it's not an option.

Those who can moderate (generally 'normal' drinkers) do.

Those who can't - drinkers like me - have to look at abstinence.

D

IvanMike

So many times we answer our own questions.



Welcome

RedManc7

Doesn't sound like an option mate

Soberwolf

Welcome IronHorse - Abstinence

JD

Ask yourself, do you really want to moderate? I like getting a buzz. One or two drinks would really suck. There's no way I'd want to moderate so that only leaves one option.

Ironhorse1

As I was writing the initial post, I knew what the answer was going to be. If I'm being honest I know I need to quite drinking, I'm just having a hard time committing to Day 1. In the past when I've tried to quite (and failed), I hit the booze harder after the failed attempt...it's a strange thing.

I guess no better time to quite than today.

least

Welcome to the family. You'll find lots of support here. I hope our support can help you get sober for good.

August252015

Dee is wise, and as usual, I agree with all.

Another thought- perhaps give total abstinence a shot- say, for a week? A month? And see how you answer this question.

I don't believe in tapering or moderation, but you have to decide for yourself and be ready.

I have found that not having to answer the question of "should I drink?" or "can I do it in moderation?" VERY liberating. I lied to myself about it for a long time and find honesty, and accepting that I cannot, to be the right path for me.

SoberLife90

I know for myself moderation is not an option. I simple cannot do it! I am either all or nothing and there is no in between. What works for me is complete abstinence. I stay sober with the help of alcoholics anonymous and my higher power who has taken away my obsession to drink. You can do it too!

MLD51

When I realized it was next to impossible for me to stop at one or two, that was when I knew I had a problem. I didn't quit though, until the negative consequences got really overwhelming. I don't want to even try moderating. It won't work and I know it. Plus - one or two would do nothing for me, so what's the point, even if I COULD stop at that?

Admitting it's a problem is the first step. Try quitting for a while. You don't need to tell yourself it's forever. Get some support at the same time. Don't try to go it alone. Once you've had some sober time, look back, and I bet you'll realize how much better you feel, and you won't want to go back to drinking.

soberaccountant

I'm going to go against the group thought here for a second and say that moderation could be an option for yourself.

Whether you're an alcoholic or not is really something that you need to figure out on your own. People here are going to have their opinions, but you're the only one with all the facts and who knows themselves best.

Sounds like you're drinking quite a bit throughout the day but not necessarily drunk. You're averaging 9 drinks a day as you mentioned....and that's quite a bit.

I'm a believer in harm-reduction. I have seen many people successfully moderate and ultimately eliminate their drinking if they choose to do so. You have two options...(1)abstain for the time being or permanently by taking it one day at a time. (2) Begin to reduce your drinking. Let's start taking a drink a day away or every other day to get below your "good day target" of 6. Moderate drinker as defined by the US Center of Disease Control is upto 2 drinks a day for a man. [SOURCE: www.cdc.gov/alcohol/FAQs.htm]

All in all, whether you're an alcoholic or not is for you to figure out. Whether you're capable of moderation or not is something you need to decide. I would encourage you to get to this moderate level of drinking, and have days eventually where you don't drink. Alcohol at the end of the day isn't necessarily the best thing for anyone.

Ironhorse1

Driving to work this morning, I got this overwhelming feeling that if I don't quite drinking, I'm headed for major trouble in my life. As much as I would like to be able to drink in moderation, deep down I know it's not possible for me.

So here I go. Day 1...again.
Last time I tried to quite was about 5 months ago. I went 2 months completely sober, and after the first few days it got a lot easier. And other than feeling like I was "missing out" and social events, I loved being sober.
Thank you to everyone for your input. I'm sure I'll be back soon for advice!

CaseyW

Glad you've made the decision to lead a better life in recovery, Ironhorse. This message board can be a wonderful source of support as you begin this journey. I hope you'll become an active participant here and I wish you the best today.

2ndhandrose

Welcome Ironhorse

I am glad that you are listening to your gut. Your gut feeling won't steer you wrong!

I hope you stick around and post about your journey. There is so much wisdom, knowledge and support here at SR.

SR has been a lifesaver for me!

OceanGuy

Ironhorse, take that gut feeling as a warning. Something was telling you that if you continued down that path, bad things could happen. Take it as a blessing and choose life, fulfillment, and happiness.
Just wait until you begin to reap all of the benefits a sober, more focused life can give you.
You got this.

FormerWineGirl

I think you've made a wise decision, Ironhorse. It took me a long time of trying to moderate to finally realize I couldn't, and even longer to realize that I actually had no desire to moderate. As I have said many times, only having one or two would just frustrate me - and make me thirsty.

thomas11

"A "good" day for me is about 6 drinks, but average would be about 9."

This is what caught my eye. There are countless posts on this site where people have started in what would be considered a reasonable amount of consumption. Then its a "drinking problem" then "heavy drinker"...then "alcoholic drinking" and when its said and done, full blown alcoholism. Its progressive and I think you are very wise to have had it catch your attention at this point. I wish you the best.