sickofthiscrap

Hi guys,

I just posted here yesterday. I'm an old member returned after a relapse. Yesterday was day 2 and I already screwed up. I had six or seven drinks last night. It was a sh*t day, but that's no excuse - every life contains many of those or even long strings of them.

I want you all to castigate me, honestly. Hold me accountable as clearly I haven't.

Is this what happens on relapse 2? Last time I had much less difficulty getting back on the horse (or the wagon, whichever you prefer).

Today it is clear as mud however, that last night's little diversion into the bottle was a total flop. Today I am under-slept, tired, and can't be bothered doing anything - meanwhile battling a to-do list as long as my arm.

Disappointed in myself.

Thanks for reading.

ScottFromWI

Welcome back. We can't shame or "castigate" you info getting sober, you need to make that effort yourself. We can help of course and there are lots of other options ( meetings, rehab, counseling, etc )...but you have to make the committment and do the hard work yourself. Have you followed a plan or program of any kind?

hopefull24

No words of advice cause I'm right there with you... I know we can do this stay strong!! It's gonna be worth it

Dave42001

We claim progress not perfection, we are not saints!

Give it another try, learn from your mistakes and move forward.. We support you regardless!! give it everything you have to stop the vicious cycle!!

strategery

There are a lot of things that come along with relapsing such as shame, guilt and a flood of other emotions. It feels very isolating.

However, you can make this a turning point again reminding yourself how terrible today was (with being the day after) and make this last relapse, your last day one. Sending you lots of hugs.

Dee74

It's not our job to castigate you, much less hold you accountable, though - it's yours.

We can't do the heavy lifting for you, I'm afraid.

If you can go a few days without drinking you clearly need to bring a little more to the recovery table...

do you need more support? do you need to use the support you have more effectively?

what changes have you made to make sure your decisions reflect your desire to be sober?

this is a good place to start reflecting on what to do now:
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...ery-plans.html

sickofthiscrap

Things are a mess in general at the moment. I think If I keep reading and posting here I can get that crucial first few days under my belt while I get further resources in place. I did it alone last time (with the exception of this forum) and it wasn't as hard as this. Yes I do need more support this time. Thanks for the link Dee.

I was kind of joking about the castigation. Shame has sometimes helped in the past. As negative as that sounds. Definitely more effort is needed. I think I have been clutching that last straw of familiarity and comfort before leaping into sobriety again but it really is just a straw isn't it. A short one.

Soberwolf

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...at-we-did.html

You can do this bud