Well , 6 Months and 4 Days...Still neurotic as heck...
 

Well , 6 Months and 4 Days...Still neurotic as heck...

Dr's have me on something called Depakote to stabilize my mood...Much better shape than I was 3 weeks ago...Still extreme anxiety and exhaustion..

Hoping somewhere in the next 6 months that things calm waaaayyyy down...

Not been a fun ride so far,,, :headbange

It takes time, my doctor told me at six months the brain starts to really begin to heal. Hang in there!

I know you started going to meetings. How's that going? I only ask because, while meetings helped me some, the real change came when I'd got a sponsor and started working the steps, and had got myself into working the program in my daily life.

This is my plan (chances are that I could do without some bits of it. Thing is, I don't know that, or know which hits of it, so while I'm sane and happy I'm sticking with it, because that was a long time coming - decades in fact)...

Daily prayers and meditation (around the step work and living the principles )
Reading the literature daily (Big Book, 12 & 12, Non-AA spiritual books)
Step work including inventory work and living amends
Contacting my sponsor or AA friends (not just when I need it)
Regular meetings
Service at meetings
Listening to AA Speaker recordings on no meeting days
Applying the principles to all areas of my life (esp those that caused problems for me when I was drinking or things I'm likely to do obsessively )

I've mentioned the principles of the program a few times there. Those principles are...
Honesty and Acceptance
Hope, and being open minded to God Will for me
Faith, and finding & maintaining the willingness to surrender to God's will.
Courage to do God's will
Living with integrity (taking responsibility for myself)
Willingness to let God bring in the new
Humility (knowing who I was, who I am, and what I may become)
Justice and brotherly love
Self discipline and good judgement to make acts of restitution
Perseverance, discipline and open mindedness
Awareness and spirituality (seeking)
Love and service


Phew . Tall order huh! Lucky it's progress and not perfection, eh!
And to think that my first 6 months I thought sitting in meetings would do the trick (and it was at about 6 months sober that i was at my most depressed and anxious, and when my thinking had got the most stuck). Obviously, the meetings are part of it, but I was just okay when I was at meetings, then whute knuckling it til the next meeting, which is no way to live. The real magic can't happen without me doing the daily work. Those lists make it sound laborious, but actually it isn't. Not once I'm in the habit. And it's worth every hour, minute and second I put in for having those promises come true, which they have.

Stick with it. Things do get better.

6+ months is excellent keep up the good work

well done on six months.

Your brain is 'healing' - it truly is. I felt weird at 6 months. Just keep doing what you're doing. With time you'll notice the improvements.

It seems we all heal at our own pace. Give it time. You're doing great. I'm at 6 months too, and I found therapy, ACA meetings (to work through all the wreckage from growing up in an alcoholic home), meds, meditation, exercise, and journaling to be helpful. I think we have to find the right mix that works for each of us. I suffer from depression and terrible panic attacks, but they're starting to fade. Keep at it, keep working on your recovery, and congrats on six months!

Thanks for the encouragement ya'll..Been a long dang haul , one I never want to repeat...

Hey Bean, found a new 6PM meeting that is great..I go on Weds and Fridays, as my schedule allows....I am developing a plan in the meantime with some some assistance with my outpatient group...

Phew , tall order indeed, but I have been white knucklin so far as you say... Just can't wait to lose this tired restless feeling...

Six months sober is great! :scoregood Keep going, it does get better. :)