aislin78

Hi! I m a 37 years old woman from Italy.I'm referring to you cause in my country the alcohol addiction is still not considered a serious or so a much widespread problem due to the Italian wine and liquors tradition.
The female addiction is even less considered .Actually
women who drink strongly are almost considered glamour.I quit to drink 2 months ago.May be I wasn't an alcoholic but for sure I was a strong and puntual drinker .I used to drink after work 2 days a week+the whole week-end sometime starting from noon (for any consumption occasion I used to drink a couple of cocktails in a bar and an half bottle of red wine once I was at home )As I have 3 serius cases of alcohol addiction in my family history I decided to give up scared by the possibility to get worse.
I have to say that now I m feeling phisically and mentally full of energies and much more "smart".I started a lot of activities:sports, home bakery, furnitures restoration,trekkig...I'm quite busy for the whole week.And basically I don't miss to drink.But my mood is really down and No ones of these activities makes me happy.Generally I'm not getting any satisfaction or enthusiasm from the activities Ido or from the same activities that I did before.I'm often sad and not motivated.the worse thing concerns my sexual life. I have no sexual drive at all.Since I quit to drink my fiancee and I we made love just 3 times...and I forced my self to make it.He doesn't know about my addiction because I started to decrease the alcohol consumption(and to hide it better) as we started our relationship 6 months ago...and of course he doesn't know that I'm in drying out. To justify my low libido I told him that I have serious problem at works(which is also true anyway) or I make up some headache.... But this situation can lead our relationship to the end .Please somebody helps me!It's so hard to me manage my sobriety,the depression and the low sex drive....Is it normal? How long does it takes to turn in normal?
Thanks
Robin

FreeOwl

it's very normal to experience drastic changes in mood and physical response in sobriety.

this will all change and improve over time. how much time and specifically in what way - is all a very individual thing.

getting yourself some counseling to help you work through and talk about your feelings is very helpful.

exercise and good nutrition and sleep are very helpful.

taking time to nurture yourself, meditate, get time away from routine and stress are helpful.

over time, you will find a 'new normal' and you will find that your emotions, your sexual life, your overall life in general will be in a far better place.

be patient, be compassionate with yourself, and it will all be OK.

Anna

Welcome and I'm glad you posted. We do understand.

Since the depression started when you stopped drinking, it's likely that it will begin to clear up soon as your body adjusts. If not, do talk to your dr about the issue. The same with the libido. Our bodies (and minds) go through a lot of change in the early weeks and months and hopefully you will adjust to a new normal soon.

least

Welcome to the family. If the depression doesn't lift in a few months, I'd suggest seeing your doctor for help.

Cherrybreeze

I am at 46 days and dealing with the same thing. Restarting my anti-depressant is only making it worse! I'm hoping it will come back, I feel bad for my BF. :/

Soberwolf

Welcome

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...ery-plans.html

aislin78

Thanks Anna...hope so:-))

aislin78

Thanks Least for welcoming me !I will follow you suggestion.

aislin78

Hi Cherrybreeze! It's really a relief hearing that another woman is experiencing this...the net reports just male low sex drive cases in detox phase.So I'm confused...I'm still not sure if it's depending on the alcohol withdrawl or If I'm falling out of love with my BF..Since how long time are you feeling this low drive?( of course,answerjust if you want to do it!) thank you!:-))

stillpooh19

I am almost 6 months sober now and I know exactly how you feel. I have experienced the gamut when it comes to withdrawals. Though some people don't believe PAWS exists, I have experienced all of the symptoms including depression, anxiety and anhedonia. My sex drive was literally in the gutter! My husband had to get confirmation from the doctor that my lack of desire was "normal" for PAWS. I am happy to report, it is GETTING BETTER with each day. The depression and anxiety is subsiding, my memory is improving (very slowly) and my libido shows up occasionally. In my early days, I didn't believe it when people said it gets better, but it really does. Just don't drink! Best wishes!

illi1111

Welcome CherryBreeze! I know exactly what you are going through... I'm 37 also with 4 months of sobriety. My depression started to lift right at 2 months. I would still suggest seeing your doctor. It's a relief to rule out other causes. As far as my libido I'm still am waiting for it to come back. Just realize it takes time for your body and mind to heal. I would have an honest conversation with your boyfriend. After 6 months you should be able to discuss this sort of thing. I'm sure he knows that you are giving him excuses and the truth would be reassuring to him. I also find that reminding my self I enjoy sex once in the act Helps me be moe open to my husbands advances. Just know you are not alone

Mountainmanbob

Sex usually improves for the sober one given time.

Seems the more we stress on the matter the worse it gets.

Relax and take it as it comes.

Mountainman

Meraviglioso

Ciao cara e benvenuto nel sito!

It is great to have you here posting, we are all here to support you. Congratulations on 2 months sober, that is a big accomplishment. I am not sure where you are in Italy, but I have found it to be the opposite, that women who drink heavily are far from glamorous, it generally seems to be looked down upon for anyone to get really drunk- male or female. But I do understand the wine culture! Every time you go out to a nice restaurant they arrive with the prosecco, after dinner grappa and limoncello....
About your sex drive, I think it is very common. I experienced the same but I quit by going to rehab where I wasn't thinking about sex anyway.
I would definitely recommend seeing a psychologist for therapy, if they think you could benefit from medication they will refer you to a psychiatrist. I couldn't do this without the support of my psychologist and psychiatrist.
Good luck. If you have questions you feel you can't express in English feel free to send me a PM. On the site here we must write in English as per the rules but I'd be happy to chat with you in Italian- in fact I need to practise my written Italian!

Un abbraccio!

Cherrybreeze

For me, it's just been since quitting. I know it can play with your neurotransmitters, hormones, etc, so in my case I really do believe it's the mental effects of quitting. Testosterone is responsible for sex drive in both genders, so if men suffer that effect, it stands to reason that women will, too. I think at this early point in time it's a good idea to wait it out a bit and see what happens!

Cherrybreeze

Thank you, illi. On the upside, I'm not giving him excuses....I do want to bring it up to him though (as to why I think it's happening), he's been very supportive through my quitting from the get go and I do know he'll understand. This is an aspect we haven't yet discussed, but I am thinking somewhere in the back of his head he's wondered. He doesn't at all seem upset with me or anything like that. But darn the sex drive of a 24-year old, ha!