Breaking routines/drinking habits.
 

My plan is at its end. I spent a fortnight drinking 3 nights a week (Sat, Sun & Wed), then a fortnight drinking only on Sat & Sun. Now it is time to let it go completely. But what to do at the weekend?

This is the only time I get with my partner as he works the early shift so goes to bed early all week; this means that we don't get time away from the kids at all during the week so weekends are precious.

Our routine is to watch movies (that is his only interest other than lego which he does alone); he snacks while I drink (I know, romantic right?). So I get drunk while we watch TV basically.

(Another big worry for me now is how do we have sex when I am sober? I haven't done it sober in 5 years-I don't remember how (and sex disgusts me)).

I cannot remember what we used on to do on the night before I drank, other than that we had a newborn so were kept busy with her and I ate/snacked much more (but I was bulimic then so didn't gain weight-eating that amount now is not an option).

During the weeknights now I keep occupied with puzzles, books and games but they are all solitary activities-not at all ideal for spending time with my partner. We are confined to the house as we obviously cannot take 3 young children out and about at night and have no one to babysit. So just what we do together? Watching movies is fine but....how can I do that sober when it has been a drunk activity for so many years?

Spending the weekends alone are really not an option as I will have to find a way to spend time with my partner at some point or another-I should get it doe with now.

I am really worrying about this-it was always the biggest hurdle.

(Kudos to me for cutting down too!)

If you can't find something to do, it seems the only thing precious about the weekends is your drinking.

Sobriety isn't a punishment. Really. I hope you discover that sober weekends can be a blessing.

That's a tough one because my life was/is precisely like yours - both when I was with my ex partner, and now I'm without. It's hard, but not impossible. I've been thinking this exact same thing today - HOW am I going to kill the time (which at this early stage of recovery is what it feels like, even though the vast majority of people manage just fine!).

So although I don't really have an answer to your question, I do empathise wholeheartedly. Do you enjoy cooking? Maybe you could cook a nice meal together - or pack up a picnic, go do something with the kids? I know it's not the same, but that's the point I guess, it can't BE the same anymore... and that's not a bad thing, just a different one. Good luck :)

That really isn't fair or true. Me and my partner are complete opposites and enjoy different things. We love each other immensely but when left alone together in the evening the only thing we both find to do is watch movies. To be honest I don't watch anything alone as I find it boring, but my partner enjoys it and drinking makes it tolerable for me to spend (or waste) a night watching TV. My time alone with my partner is precious regardless of the drinking, and on the very rare days we have had alone, we have enjoyed ourselves and found things to do, but the night is different-there are very little things to occupy the time that we both enjoy equally. I struggle to explain it better than that, but my time with my partner is precious. It sounds to me that you are insinuating that I love beer more than spending time with him. That is absolutely not the case-I just need to find something to do other than drinking. I came here hoping for suggestions on that, not silly claims about my relationship.

I think the best thing to do is to just get out and try new things. you both cant know until you try.

Take a look at this link. In early sobriety it's very difficult to imagine that you can go about your day without drinking, but the reality is that drinking is not "something to do" - it's something you do to feed your addiction no matter what activity you are participating in.

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...ething-do.html

And, I picked up my love of reading habit in early recovery and have never looked back. I am always reading something and always have something waiting to read next. :)

Yeah I can say I'm looking forward to getting back into reading. I was a book monster, never mind a book worm! Over recent years that all slipped because I was drunk more than I was sober, so reading kind of goes out of the window when you can't remember what you read the day before!

So yeah, try to find something you both enjoy or you could take it in turns to suggest things you'd like to try. You never know, a new hobby/pastime could come from this for both of you :)

Some excellent suggestions