kristinabmarie

I'm really new to being sober once again, I've been sober for barley two days now. I feel like i'm going crazy especially with all my negative thoughts. I lost my job due to using and I don't have anything going for me right now, I've also damaged my friendships and feel very alone. My thoughts just won't stop, telling me i'm such a loser I have nothing going for me, i'm worthless etc and it's giving me major anxiety because it just won't stop. These thoughts really make me want to use. How do you cope with these negative thoughts? I feel so overwhelmed I don't even know where to start with things. I'm also trying to leave my ex who was quite abusive right now which is really friggen hard and I want to go back so bad....but I know as soon as I go back to him i'm going to start using again; I'm really trying to be strong and stay away. No one really knows what's going on with me right now since I hid so much of what's going on from everyone. I don't really have people to reach out to right now. I'm asking for advice on how I could maybe make this easier on myself and things that worked for you when you were newly sober? I want to be sober so bad; in a matter of a few months of being in a relapse, I've lost my job, friends, money etc... I want to stop the destruction in my life right now. I feel so alone.

Anna

Welcome, and I'm really sorry that you're feeling so alone and lost right now. We do understand how hard this is. What you're going through with the negative thoughts running through your mind - that is your disease trying to keep you hooked. Don't give in. You are not a bad person and you deserve a good life. Do whatever it takes right now to distract your mind and to stop yourself from drinking/using. It will get better and you are worth the effort.

Behan

You will find lots of support here on SR.

Behind all of those negative thoughts is your desire for things to be better.

Maybe you could consider a medical examination?

Focus on the basics: eat well, physical activity, keep busy.

I wish you the best of luck on your journey.

B

least

Welcome to the family. It helped me in the early days to focus on the positives. Any time you get a negative thought, replace it with a positive one. After a while, thinking positively will be a habit.

KPForever

I am on Day 2 too. My drinking may have jeopardized my job. I will find out tomorrow Monday morning. I'm scared, but whatever happens, happens. I'll get through it.

Definitely focus on the positives. And remember that things may look dark and dreary now, but they could be a lot worse. The sun can & will shine again.
If I let myself become negative, I won't survive. Don't give up hope on yourself. You can do this.

kristinabmarie

Thank you so much for your response (: truly helps to lift my spirits right now, Gives me hope I feel really bad because I took the time to go to a meeting tonight but ended up getting there 15 minutes late so I didn't even go inside

Behappy1

I did that once. I was actually really anxious about going to one of my first meetings. Worried about it all day. When I got there, there was no meeting. AA hadn't updated their website. All that worry for nothing! Find another one today. Hang in there and stick close to SR. You can do this and you're not alone!

Soberwolf

Welcome Kristina

Wastinglife

I lost jobs, friends, material possessions etc. I lost a whole decade of my life come to think of it. I finally just had enough of being either drunk or depressed when not drunk.

I know how anxious and miserable you must be. The initial detox stage is pure hell. Just got to ride it out and come out the other side. Stay close to this forum

ZenLifter

Welcome Kristina. I have a lot of trouble with negative thoughts also, but it has gotten better as I have more time sober. Try to remember that they are only thoughts, and not truths. Your own opinions about yourself are no more true than your opinions about anyone else. So say to yourself when you have a negative thought, "that's not true. I don't believe that." Try to think of things that you are grateful for. It might seem impossible right now, but there must be something

Berrybean

Try again today. I've done exactly the same when I first wanted to give AA a try. Hard enough walking in the first few times, without being late. Another time I stood there and prayed that he'd find a way of helping me get through the door, and one of the friendliest men in the world who looked just like the BFG popped his head out of the main door and said "oh ello, I thought I heard someone. You coming in then?" And in I went. First time i'd prayed that hard, and it was answered. (I've prayed a lot more since that date, I can tell you!!) And I've sat in that room many, many times since that day, and it's a mystery to me how Gary could ever have heard me.

Those meetings and this place kept me sober. I honestly thought I was going mad, but I kept sober on the hope that other people's experiences and shared wisdom gave me. You can do this.

strategery

For me, I had to change the channel. I had to start working on not beating myself up for past mistake and to focus my thinking on what I was doing with moving myself forward in my sobriety.

If you find your thoughts going that way, force yourself to think about something else, make a gratitude list, make yourself list positive things about yourself, why you're happy you're getting sober, etc.

Nordland1963

welcome Kristina,
I too have had to battle w/ negative thoughts in my 1st few days of sobriety.

your emotions run wild, anxieties run high.

w / every day that passes w/o out using, things will get a little better.

after a few weeks, Life gets ALOT better, really quickly...


keep the faith, and keep looking on SR for inspiration .

Nordland

it sure helped me a lot!!!

Dee74

Hi and welcome Kristina

The first few weeks are hard - no denying it...but posting here daily helped me get through each day. Whenever I was feeling negative someone here always had something positive to say

Try and remember that this is not always the way it will be - it will get easier

D